It was awesome.
I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
It’s time to return to the series Paul made famous by taking a body-condom dip into tropical poo water populated with penis-fish! Since the first two episodes serve to introduce each storyline’s central cast and chorus of doubters, they’ve been compressed into one super recap.
First up is 28 year-old Caleb from Chandler, AZ, who likes to travel the world taking selfies with protein powder while expanding his beanie collection. Tv is not something he really believes in, but it was the only opportunity for him to illustrate the perils of a brown zip-up sweater that makes you look like a Snickers bar in a person costume.
“I’ve agreed to go on a man-bun run with my shirt off, before crafting my own inkblot and meditating on myself.” Caleb, you’re doing great.
“I feel like I’m not good enough for you,” Darcey dry-cries.
“I would like to use my platform to raise awareness about a little known condition: Tarot blindness,” Caleb is ready. “This condition turns every card into a prolonged negotiation, until it’s coaxed towards a more palatable meaning. For example, this card features an elderly gentleman with a lantern, who is walking towards a self-illuminated path, alone. It reads, The Hermit. So I dunno, this could be about giraffes, interstate unicycle travel, watering recommendations for a ficus…I’m going to need a second tiny booklet.”
Three years ago Caleb added Russia to his vision board, and got busy exploring ass-getting abroad. On a matchmaking site he came across a familiar face in Alina #2, who has nothing in common with Alina #1 except a country and an unsolicited dick pic from Steven. Turns out they started chatting when they were 15, and Tom was one of their top five on myspace.
“Here’s a message from back then where the sparks were really flying,” Caleb holds our hand down memory lane. “She asks what I’m doing, and I respond ‘Homework, LOL’. Abbreviations were kind of our thing. It’s fate.”
“No fate but what you make,” Linda Hamilton is hear to carve wisdom into your picnic table.
Alina lives in St. Petersburg, and when 90DF catches up with her she’s fashioning a Game of Thrones crown to let everyone know winter is coming. She’s a little person, and her particular dwarfism makes it challenging for her to walk and hold things, but she’s made that wheelchair the steel horse she rides.
“Here’s a photo of me skydiving like it’s relaxing,” she shares.
“That sounds expensive,” everyone at home Ben and Jerry’s.
Alina’s an entertainer
... keep reading on reddit ➡Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
Good God that was brutal but the Hustler was too obvious here. He was quiet the whole time it seemed
They’re on standbi
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
[Removed]
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
You take away their little brooms
There hasn't been a post all year!
Where ever you left it 🤷♀️🤭
It was about a weak back.
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
-
French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
-
Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
-
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Nothing, it just waved
Him: I can explain everything!
(It's his best joke yet I think)
Bob
When I got home, they were still there.
It’s time to return to the series Paul made famous by taking a body-condom dip into tropical poo water populated with penis-fish! Since the first two episodes serve to introduce each storyline’s central cast and chorus of doubters, they’ve been compressed into one super recap.
First up is 28 year-old Caleb from Chandler, AZ, who likes to travel the world taking selfies with protein powder while expanding his beanie collection. Tv is not something he really believes in, but it was the only opportunity for him to illustrate the perils of a brown zip-up sweater that makes you look like a Snickers bar in a person costume.
“I’ve agreed to go on a man-bun run with my shirt off, before crafting my own inkblot and meditating on myself.” Caleb, you’re doing great.
“I feel like I’m not good enough for you,” Darcey dry-cries.
“I would like to use my platform to raise awareness about a little known condition: Tarot blindness,” Caleb is ready. “This condition turns every card into a prolonged negotiation, until it’s coaxed towards a more palatable meaning. For example, this card features an elderly gentleman with a lantern, who is walking towards a self-illuminated path, alone. It reads, The Hermit. So I dunno, this could be about giraffes, interstate unicycle travel, watering recommendations for a ficus…I’m going to need a second tiny booklet.”
Three years ago Caleb added Russia to his vision board, and got busy exploring ass-getting abroad. On a matchmaking site he came across a familiar face in Alina #2, who has nothing in common with Alina #1 except a country and an unsolicited dick pic from Steven. Turns out they started chatting when they were 15, and Tom was one of their top five on myspace.
“Here’s a message from back then where the sparks were really flying,” Caleb holds our hand down memory lane. “She asks what I’m doing, and I respond ‘Homework, LOL’. Abbreviations were kind of our thing. It’s fate.”
“No fate but what you make,” Linda Hamilton is hear to carve wisdom into your picnic table.
Alina lives in St. Petersburg, and when 90DF catches up with her she’s fashioning a Game of Thrones crown to let everyone know winter is coming. She’s a little person, and her particular dwarfism makes it challenging for her to walk and hold things, but she’s made that wheelchair the steel horse she rides.
“Here’s a photo of me skydiving like it’s relaxing,” she shares.
“That sounds expensive,” everyone at home Ben and Jerry’s.
Alina’s an entertainer
... keep reading on reddit ➡