Quarter dollar Puns

He's changed a lot.

You've changed man

Dad looked at me, shrugged and said “Inflation.”

Inflation

What should I do with the remaining $999,999.75?

Gonna call it Nickel-less Cage

my $1 bill is the ex-change

There was no cents to that.

Then I’d have $999,999.75.

Went to the bird store today Went to the cage section and one caught my eye. It was way over priced and all It had was a penny, dime, quarter half dollar in it. I asked why it was so much?

The manager said because it was a nickel-less cage.

This one happened a while ago, while I was at the beach with friends. While we were there, I picked up a broken Sand Dollar (about a third of it) and said:

Me: "Hey, look what I found!"

Friendo: "It's a Sand Dollar."

Me: "Actually, I think it's more of a sand quarter."

The total came out to $20.76 so I get 21 dollars and a penny ready. Just before I pay, my dad looks over to me and says that I should get something that every good football team needs.
The cashier hands me a quarter back.

we were in the car and my mom showed me a pic with like 50 people on facebook and she said "this is only a quarter of our family" and I said "really? I'd hate to see a half dollar"

Important to know: Three of my grandparents grew up in Indiana, the other in Ohio. People from Ohio get made fun of a lot in Indiana. They're nicknamed Buckeyes.

My dad asked where I've been applying to jobs, when I told him I'm looking to move to Cincinnati, Ohio. Then he says, "Ohio? You're gonna be a full blood Buckeye yet! No wait, a one and a quarter! A dollar twenty-five!" Then he laughed so hard that he had to pass the phone to my mother. The last time I heard him laugh that hard, he was watching the Three Stooges.