Punch Brothers Puns

When I went in for it he punched the counter top and shouted “counter attack!”

.....and that’s when I drew the line.

I said "I thought you were Lance, I apologize sinceyourelee".

A boy was in love with a girl. Madly in love. He told his older brother, who suggested he ask her to the upcoming prom. So, that night, he went to her house with some flowers and chocolates and asked the girl to the prom.

She was overjoyed. She took the flowers and hugged him around the neck. When he went home, his brother told him he had to get ready. Prom was in only a week!

The next day, he traveled to a suit store. He picked out the perfect one. It would go perfectly with his date’s dress. He picked his up and went to check out. Unfortunately, it seems a lot of people were buying suits, as the line nearly went out of the store. He groaned, but anything for his love. After two long hours, he finally got his suit.

A couple days later, his brother suggested that he rent a limo. He and his brother went to rent one that evening. When they arrived, they discovered that there were nearly 50 people waiting to rent a vehicle. They waited for nearly three hours, but they were finally able to rent a limo for the big day.

The afternoon before the dance, he went to buy some flowers for his date. Unfortunately, the store seemed to be having a sale, and the checkout lines extended into the parking lot. He stomped his foot. “Why is it that every time I go to buy something, everyone else wants to buy it too?!” He begrudgingly waited for nearly four hour before walking out with a bouquet of roses.

That night, he rode in the limo to his date’s house. She got in, and they talked the entire trip. He presented her with the flowers, which she adored. Her dress was stunning, and went perfectly with his suit.

They arrived at the school and got out, arms linked. They walked inside, said hi to a couple of friends, and began dancing and enjoying the night.

About halfway through the dance, the boy was parched. He told his girl that he was going to get a drink. He walked over to the snack table and discovered that there was no punch line.

My brother was moving out of the house. Our mom had a bookshelf she was trying to give away to him. She was telling him it’d be great to put movies on, or CD’s, or figurines, etc. She listed everything but books. So, when she was done my brother said “oh yeah? What about books?” and without thinking I said “that’s a novel idea”. He almost punched me in the face.

Today, I was driving with my brother to go to a hotel. Obviously, there were numerous signs with instructions on where to go. One of those signs said "RTV".

Brother: (Reading the sign) What is RTV?

Me: A Samsung.

He stops the car and punches me in the arm. Definitely worth it.