How do you make the number one disappear?

You add "g" and it's GONE

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ssr0203
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
🚨︎ report
What generation does Forest Gump belong to?

Gen-A

πŸ‘︎ 211
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/red_beard2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Pirate Ship Captain: I am desperate. Can someone tell me how to write the number 2 in Roman numerals?

Crew: I I Captain.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
🚨︎ report
I was watching Star Trek: The Next Generation on my mobile and the feed shut off.

I got a text from my mobile provider saying I’d exceeded my monthly Data allowance.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vbloke
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Numbers, bro…
πŸ‘︎ 659
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KaiswPlays05
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
🚨︎ report
I made a dad joke generator

I don’t know if I am allowed to post this but I just made a dad joke generator. Hope you guys like it. If I am breaking the rule, please let me know I don’t mind withdrawing the post. Here’s the link:

https://kiranojhanp.github.io/random-joke-generator/

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/magnebuda
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Generating all of our power from solar energy ....

... its not going to happen overnight!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_Awesome-79
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
🚨︎ report
2 is the only prime number that is even.

That makes 2 really odd.

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s the highest number in the world?

420

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nickatier_Carbs
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you make the number two disappear?

You flush it πŸ₯΄

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_Scogetos
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
🚨︎ report
In surgery my doctor said, "So what do we have here?" I replied that I broke my arm in 12 places."

He replied, "Well, stop going to those places then!"

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAzrael2013
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
🚨︎ report
A number kept moving around on my Excel spreadsheet

I found out it was a Roamin' Numeral

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAzrael2013
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
🚨︎ report
What is the number one reason for dry skin

Its a towel

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Autismos12345
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
🚨︎ report
originally posted on r/tumblr by u/MaetelofLaMetal
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
🚨︎ report
TIL about the number one cause of divorce in America.

Marriage.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DestroyatronMk8
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
🚨︎ report
How does a farmer reduce the number of cows?

He switches to decafe!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend from college was obsessed with trying to find the largest known prime number.

I wonder what she’s up to now.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
🚨︎ report
There were 30 cows and 28 chicken. How many didn't?
πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rozen007
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
🚨︎ report
The number of people older than you....

Will always decrease.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2021
🚨︎ report
If you have two heads, that's both an odd and even number
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Iron_Eagl
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
🚨︎ report
My dad used to hit me with cameras

I still have flashbacks

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sohayel_nafi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
🚨︎ report
2000’s kids are generation Z and 80’s-90’s kids are generation Y, if we keep going back we get to generation U.

If you have wine from that time is it genuine?

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/deaderson
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
🚨︎ report
What generation does Forrest Gump belong to?

Gen A

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anytime200
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
🚨︎ report
There was an explosion at the numbers factory

The tragic aftermath: 9 wounded, 15 decreased.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FeelTheQuickening
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2021
🚨︎ report
I knew a girl who could only add odd numbers

She literally could not even

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/karmaniak
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
🚨︎ report
Why do teens only group in odd numbers?

Because they can’t even.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gingi0
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
🚨︎ report
9 months from now, there will be a baby boom. 13 years later, will give rise to the next generation, known as....

Quaranteens.

πŸ‘︎ 606
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are 0 and 1 the only numbers with genders?

All the others are non-binary

πŸ‘︎ 565
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cheble003
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
I was super surprised when the cashier wouldn’t give me her number.

I could’ve sworn she was checking me out.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RagamuffinDangles
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
🚨︎ report
There was a man who despised negative numbers...

He’ll stop at NOTHING to avoid them!

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Waiter: β€œHow do you like your steak, sir”?

Sir: β€œLike winning an argument with my wife”.

Waiter β€œRare it is!”.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/boredhanda
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2021
🚨︎ report
I have created living numbers! In fact, one of them is psychic and told me that certain things will continue to happen for a long time.

At least for the four-seeable future.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
🚨︎ report
Someone really did a number on the office bathroom.

I got really upset until I realized I work from home and I am the only one home.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FoldaHolda
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
🚨︎ report
There's so many bad puns on this sub' it's making me just feel numb, and don't talk about the math ones..

..they make me feel even number.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I had to break up with this girl who just would not stop counting.

I wonder what she’s up to now.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
🚨︎ report
My friend Earl has a wife that is a bit obsessive about finding the total number of things in her everyday life...

She's a countess.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you make number one disappear?

You flush.

Edit: The same works for number two, sometimes.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/monkeydude0514
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend is a square root of -100

Perfect 10, but purely imaginary.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2021
🚨︎ report
Man at the theatre asks the usher: β€œwhat’s my seat number?”

Usher responds: β€œ10-Q”

Man responds: β€œYou’re welcome. Now what’s my seat number?”

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
🚨︎ report
Number wars, a dad joke story.

6 couldn't believe it. 7 had finally gone off the deep end. 7 had long offended 6. A repeat 6 offender if you will. But this was unforgivable. 9 was his best friend. How could he do this to his best friend? How could it be that 7 ate 9?

6, filled with fury, called his friends 2 and 4. They would get even. 10 was the best friend of 7 you see. 2, 4 and 6 ate 10 to get even. They then began plotting further revenge, but 7 acted first. He gathered 1, 3 and 5 together to take down 6.

Realizing that the odds were against them, 2, 4 and 6 retreated. Their only option was to turn to 12 who had twice the resources 6 had. 7 couldn't follow.

12 quickly called 3 to find out what the root of 7's attack on 9. 3 wasn't sure. He had only supported 7 because of a long standing friendship. But 3 promised to get to the root cause.

Meanwhile, 7's scheming was not yet done. 12 was powerful, but there was one who could reverse his decision to harbor 6. If he could just convince 21, nicknamed blackjack, to reverse 12's decision, it would all be over.

Three times 7 went to 21's compound. On the third try he was able to get through. After explaining that 6 had masterminded the elimination of 10, a grand meeting of the numbers was called.

Both 6 and 7 argued over the whole thing. 13 had the unlucky task of adjudicating the meeting. Each time 13 made an argument, 6 and 7 would add to it by shouting over each other.

Finally, 21 had had enough. "7, why did you eat 9"

7 responded "I just wanted to get 3 square meals." 21 had 7 eliminated for initiating the battle and 6 jailed for masterminding 10's death. And the war was over.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you make the number 'one' disappear?

You add a G and it's gone

πŸ‘︎ 96
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WithOurHandsTied
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you make the number one disappear?

You add "g" and it's GONE.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OwenJthomas89
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you make the number one disappear

You add a g and it's GONE

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/joeytherealking
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you make the number one disappear?

You just add G and it’s gone .

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
🚨︎ report
What generation does Forrest Gump belong to?

Gen-A

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mitalily
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
🚨︎ report
What generation does Forrest Gump belong to?

Gen A

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hawkeye45_
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
🚨︎ report
I am terrified of negative numbers...

I'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

πŸ‘︎ 65
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
🚨︎ report
I hate negative numbers in math.

I’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chairlegnumber4
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.