This is absolutely horrible

Why did the shower head do drugs

peer PRESSURE

👍︎ 2
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📅︎ Jul 13 2019
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I got my wife with this one...

Me: While I was in the shower the water pressure wasn’t right, and I noticed the tubing on the handheld shower head is bent out of shape.

Wife: OK. Are you going to fix it?

Me: Eventually. But I have to confess something. I went ahead and used it this morning the way it is. Are you upset?

Wife: Upset? No. Why?

Me: Well, I think most wives would be pretty mad if they heard their husband had been taking a shower with some kinky hose.

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👤︎ u/zamundan
📅︎ Jul 19 2019
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dad joking grandpa, once a dad always a dad.

I pulled my car over on my way home today because it started smoking (I cracked a head gasket) so I called my grandpa because he is the mechanic of my family and he only lives a mile from where I pulled over.

I told him that my car was smoking and I needed his help to find out what was wrong with it.

"It's probably peer pressure, make it smoke the rest of the pack and see how it likes it then"

👍︎ 689
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📅︎ Mar 19 2014
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"I wonder what it would be like to live under water..."

"I wonder what it would be like to live under water..." said my girlfriend on our way to see Finding Dory, to which I responded with "I don't know, but I bet you'd be under a lot of pressure."

She hung her head in shame because she knew my entire family would soon hear about this.

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📅︎ Jun 26 2016
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Airborn Dad Jokes

Sometimes I go flying with my dad who's a pilot. The other day we're approaching our home airport and dad radios the tower to get the weather. "Winds calm, barometer is 30.12 and rising." Without hesitation he quips "Sounds like we're heading into a high pressure situation, eh son?"

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👤︎ u/willymo
📅︎ May 17 2014
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