From my daughter (as we ate at Five Guys): I had some fries and they complained about everything.

I guess you could say they were kinda salty!

Her and I always exchange dad jokes. We've been impacted by hurricane Michael and have been away from home for over a week. She looked up a bunch of dad jokes to tell me since I've been busy getting our stuff figured out and been in meetings to get work/job operational once the building/power/water is available.

👍︎ 7
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👤︎ u/RomeoFour8
📅︎ Oct 17 2018
🚨︎ report
These puns are Capital!

So I had a productive day at work coming up with these Capital City puns a year ago today. Thought they were too good not to share!

Why did the Geordie arrange a holiday to Romania?

To book a rest!

Bob Mortimer was speaking to his comedy partner's wife saying he wanted to take him on a piss up to Iceland. When asked why he said:

I want to wreck ya vic!

Why should you never let a man go swimming in Finland with weights on his ankles?

Coz He'll sinky

What do people most commonly use toilet paper for in Bandar Seri Begawan?

Their Brunei

Catwoman bet her male counterpart he couldn't pronouce the capitol of Nepal. But cat man do.

Why was the Polish man rubbing his bollocks? Coz they warsaw.

I just came up with a cracking pun for Japan. Alas, all the wife could say was "What Tokyo so long?"

The ex Mrs McCartney got naked in East Germany in the 80s. She was known for years in the area as Bare-lin

Cheap flights to Russia still available! Book now! Everything Moscow!

The people of Bahamas think learning Capitol cities is Nassau important

The people of the Netherlands had a need to build a water driven power station as well as an overabundance of pork products. So they used 'Ams to Dam a river.

A husband and wife in the Phillipines were both very, very unwell. The woman was sick, but the man iller.

What's the average Senegalian's favoured mode of transport? Da car

Have you heard about the talking cat in Somalia that only throws insults? The Moggy Diss you

They are obsessed with John Cleese in Uruguay. They love a video of Fawlty towers almost as much as they love a Montevideo

People from Vietnam Hanoi the hell outta me

Rain storms are very rare in Zambia, but in Zimbabwe they Harera

Before you do a joke about Macedonia, let me Skopje right there

I've heard Swedish Ikea workers get stuff for free, they can just take Stockholm

If you are trying to eat Halal in Pakistan, Islamabad or good choice?

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👤︎ u/Spoghead
📅︎ Sep 21 2018
🚨︎ report
Girlfriend got me good earlier

Back story: I'm at a shop getting my car put on a dyno. A dyno measures the power output. I didn't tell my girlfriend but she knew I was planning on getting it done soon.

Me: I'm in neighboring city

GF: what are you doing there?

Me: car stuff

GF: are you getting a stegosaurus

Me: what...?

GF: I thought you were getting a dino!

Me: ohmygod.

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📅︎ Apr 21 2015
🚨︎ report

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