Someone who likes playing racing games online is...
My dad was once playing the Game Of Life.
But strangely, he kept a dictionary as the only other player. I asked him what he was doing.
He said, “Son, in this game of life, you just need to play with words to make a good dad-joke!”
My sister asked me to keep my nephew from playing games on his tablet all night. I suggested he builds a fort with his cousin.
He instantly replied, “but mom said I couldn’t play Fort Night”
(He’s gonna be a great dad some day)
Playing the long game
Life Goals:
Have a daughter
Name her 'Dearly'
Train her to be an accountant
Employ her at my business
Wrap up every transaction with: Now you'll pay Dearly for this.
EDIT: Spelling
There is a board game that I stopped playing years ago.
But I don't like talking about my checkered past.
A man from Prague and his friend were playing chess at a restaurant when an Australian waiter interrupts their game. The waiter says, "have a check, mate. Your Czech mate is about to be in checkmate... oh, and here's the cheque, mate."
Asked my son if he and his friends, were playing the latest Virtual Reality game.
I'm on the couch playing video games when my dad walks in with a tape measure
About five feet away from me he stops and starts pushing the tape out to me. It gets closer and closer until it eventually smushes against my cheek.
I ask him "What are you doing?"
"I'm measuring your patience."
Do you know what happens when you are badly injured playing a game of peekaboo?
A video game addict was playing a military game
He quickly achieved the rank of “treem ”, rather high up in the rankings. However, it was not long lasting, as after a series of events he was demoted. His parents grew very annoyed of hearing him talking about having been a treem, his unfair demotion, and how much he hated his new position. Now, the gamer’s family often made little newspapers to share personal achievements and events with their family.
This weeks top headline read, “ex-treem dissed appointment”.
Did you hear the news story about the man that was playing video games for 2 weeks straight?
The creator of Paper Mario was recently playing a game of poker.
He didn’t have enough to wager, so he was forced to fold.
To keep the virus away, I'm taking forever to open the door, refusing to change the temperature and only playing games in single player mode.
In other words, I'm doing everything I can to be a bad host.
I recently had breakfast with Tenacious D while playing a game of cards
Nothing like playing blackjack with Jack Black over a stack of flapjacks
My wife started hitting me because I drained her phone by playing video games.
She might be charged with battery.
I was playing a poker game and gambled with marijuana-infused beef
it was high steaks but i think it was worth it
Do you know the keyboard shortcut to help you not have to go the bathroom when you’re working or playing PC games?
I thought my son was spending too much time playing computer games...
I stopped him and said, "Son, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace."
He considered that for a moment before replying, "Yeah, well, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was The President of the United States."
My girlfriend, playing a farming game, said “I want my horse stable.”
I asked “Why is he wobbling?”
One day, my buddy and I were playing a game of cribbage and I was far ahead of him. He told me “Man, you are on fire.”
I shouted back at him “Then put me out already!”
What do you call a person who codes for living and also good at playing games?
So all of the deserts were playing a game were they tried to steal each other, the cookies were stealing the scones and the danishes were stealing the ice cream and they were all doing it pretty badly but the pie
True story: my daughter was playing a pet-salon game on her iPad and said to me: "Hey dad, I've just worked out that if you just brush their teeth over and over you get experience points faster." To which I replied: "You shouldn't grind your teeth."
A boy was sitting at home playing video games when suddenly his dad bursts in through the front door and says, “Son, look, check out my new AirPods!”
The boy looks at his father’s ears but sees nothing. “Dad, there’s nothing there.”
“Yeah I know, they’re literal!”
I asked a Frenchman if he likes playing video games...
I love playing PS4 and PC games, but now i find myself enjoying the new Nintendo games.
I guess I'm switching it up.
What do you call 2 Mexicans playing a basketball game?
What did the Christian Dad say to his kid staying up playing video games
How do eastern Europeans save while playing video games
I’m avoiding playing board games with my family
I really don’t want to die
What my son would say when playing them games
My girlfriend was cooking while I was playing video games
I asked her to run to the store for me, she glared and said "I'm a little busy."
To which I replied "I don't know, looks like you have some thyme on your hands to me."
My daughter said her brother was disqualified from the game they were playing. I told him to just say, "I'm a koala!"
Because then he'd be re-koala-fied
My kids and I have been playing the game Battleship. Sometimes it seems like they love it. Other times I think they hate it
It has really been hit or miss
I always get upset playing mobile games
Your mom and I enjoy spending time together playing the simplest, most pointless video games.
From the start, we just clicked.
I just saw a famous French footballer in the game shop playing Mario Kart
I think it was Thierry on Wii
My dad hit me with this one last night while playing board games.
Me: Go ahead and draw seven cards.
Dad: Okay, can you give me a pencil?
Me: What for?
Dad: To draw seven cards.
Dad is playing video games
I really don’t know if I like the board game battleship. Sometimes I love playing it, other times I loathe it.
Honestly it’s hit or miss.
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