Pick a Star Puns

A number of years ago I was in a rock band. We were hugely successful, playing some of the biggest venues and entertaining swarms of fans.

The last shoes we ever played were on our world tour. We played the Americas and then flew over to Europe. We played our way through Russia and even a couple of gigs in China, before selling out our final show in Japan.

It was a hell of a Journey, but it was time for me to hang up my guitar. I retired from the rock star life and got an office job in Tokyo.

I made a few friends at work, and grew close with one in particular, Narada-san. One day Narada had the day off for a funeral, but that wasn't enough; he needed more time. He was torn between his obligation to return to work and his desire to have more time at home. He asked me what he should do.

The answer was simple. I picked up my guitar and played a Japanese version of our biggest hit from 1981:

Don't Stop Bereaving

[the Three Stooges pick names out of a hat, to determine who gets to marry which girl]
Larry (Larry Fine): I got Florabell!
Florabelle: Darling!
Moe (Moe Howard): I got Corabell!
Corabelle: Oh, Darling!
Curly (Curly Howard): I got Stetson! What one is she?

(from the Three Stooges short film, The Sitter-Downers)

I took my daughter to get some keys cut at Home Depot. She picked out a pink one and I picked out a super awesome Star Wars key. They cut her key first followed by mine

"Daddy, the machine is louder cutting your key"

"Well kiddo, that's because Star Wars keys need more Force"

While visiting my brother at college, he roommate came and started talking with us. He proceeded to pick up one of his dumbbells and start doing some curls. He then tells me, 'I like to fuck around with this thing from time to time." My response, 'Well I hope you clean it after each session." My brother could barely hold back his laughter while the roommate starred at me then shook his head.