Pero Antić Puns

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

The doctor says it terminal.

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

With the recent news of Al Horford being traded to Boston, I started thinking about what happened to the 2014-2015 Hawks team that went 60-22. Here is where each player is now:

players are inalphabetical order

Pero Antić – Retired after the 2014 NBA season. Currently serves as the President of the Basketball Federation of North Macedonia.

Kent Bazemore – Current player for the Warriors. Played 67 games this year & averaged 7/3/2 in 20 minutes.

Elton Brand – Retired with the 76ers after the 2015 season. Currently serves as the GM of the 76ers.

DeMarre Carroll – Free Agent. Last played for the Rockets in 2020. Only played in 9 games with no starts.

Austin Daye – Currently plays overseas for Umana Reyer Venezia of the Italian Lega Basket Serie A. Scored 22 points in his most recent game against Olimpia Milano

Al Horford – Traded to the Celtics. Most recently played 28 games for the Thunder. Averaged 14/7/3 in 28 minutes.

John Jenkins – Currently plays overseas for RETAbet Bilbao Basket of the LIGA ACB. Last played in the NBA in the 2018-19 season for the Knicks. Most recently scored 13 points against Divina Seguros Joventut on May 23rd.

Kyle Korver – Free Agent. Last played with the Bucks in 2020. He hasn't officially announced his retirement, but it doesn't seem like he'll be suiting up again.

Shelvin Mack – Currently plays overseas for Panathinaikos of the Greek Basket League and the EuroLeague. Most recently played in the NBA in the 2018-19 season for the Hornets.

Paul Millsap – Current player for the Denver Nuggets. Started 36 games for the Nuggets this year and averaged 9/5/2 in 21 minutes.

Mike Muscala – Current player for the Thunder. Played in 35 games this year. Averaged 10/4/1 in 18 minutes.

Adreian Payne – Currently plays overseas for OGM Ormanspor of the Basketbol Süper Ligi. Last played in the NBA for the Magic in the 2017-18 season.

Dennis Schröder – Will be an UFA, but most recently played for the Lakers. Started 61 games and averaged 15/4/6 in 32 minutes.

Mike Scott – Currently plays for the 76ers. Played in 51 games this year (started 12) and averaged 4/2/1 in 17 minutes.

Thabo Sefolosha – Free Agent. Last played for the Rockets in the 2019-2020 season. Averaged 2/2/1 in 11 minutes with the Rockets.

Jeff Teague – Bench player for the Bucks. Played in 21 games this year & started 2. Last played in Game 2 vs Brooklyn with 0 points in 7 minu

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Put it on my bill

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

Title is basically the question, nothing further.
Anyways, here is Pero Antic's Wikipedia page so it'll reach the word limit.

Pero Antić (Macedonian: Перо Антиќ, pronounced [ˈpɛrɔ ˈantic]; (born July 29, 1982), is a Macedonian basketball executive and former professional player. He currently serves as a president of the Basketball Federation of North Macedonia.[1]

Antić was a member and captain of the Macedonian national basketball team. Standing at 6 ft 11 in (2.11 m), he primarily played the power forward position, although he was able to play at the center position.

Calcium, nickel, neon

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

The bartender says, "Sorry, no minors”

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

At work, I have a workstation.

edit: cheers u/cheer_up_richard