After covid I really just stopped talking to everybody. I graduated this summer so I’ve just been with family or working with my dad. Ig the closest thing I have to friends is people i talk to on discord. Other than that I really interact with people outside of working. Is this bad ? I dont mind having friends but I dont go out of my way. I think some of my current problems tie into this but I am not sure.

Something happened to me the other day that was just the most excruciatingly perfect metaphor for my life. Backstory: I’m 21 F and the only person I communicate with on a daily basis is my mother. We work together. I live in a college town. The other day I was feeling really depressed so I forced myself to get out of bed and actually go out into the world. I went to the river that runs through my town. I get there and the hill on the bank of the river is packed full of other college students. I pick a spot at the bottom of the hill and I lay there by myself for about 20 minutes reading a book called “how to be happy” or something like that. That part is depressing in itself. When I got to the river I noticed life guards and I thought that was odd cause I have never see lifeguards there ever. So then I hear a loud whistle blow and one of the lifeguards yells “alright bobcat camp, time to pack up”. Within 2 minutes every. Single. Person. On my side of the hill gets up and leaves the park. Apparently the hill was covered in freshmen orientation students. So here I am completely alone on this giant hill. The other side of the river still has a good amount of people, mostly families. Then not one, but two middle aged women walk by me and make a comments about how I have the hill all to myself. I actually tried to go out and surround myself with people my age, only to be left alone on a hill, where the only people who acknowledge me are middle aged women. I called my mom (a middle aged woman and my only friend) and cried.

I’m an avid Reddit user and so I browse many subreddits and in doing so I often see many threads about people wanting to find relationships, feeling lonely etc, especially now during quarantine.

The problem is I keep seeing the same tired advice like “focus on yourself” or “you can’t expect others to fill a void and make you happy” blah blah.

These statements just don’t speak truth to the harsh reality that we are all humans and as such we crave intimacy, companionship and conversation. Some are able to get these things easier than others and these are usually the people trying to give the advice.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to vent and feel lonely, it’s perfectly normal. Another aspect that I think people tend to ignore is the fact that societal pressure makes everything 10x harder to deal with. You listen to the radio and all you hear are songs about love and sex, you go outside in public and see all those couples holding hands and laughing, you hangout with your friends and they all bring their wives/husbands and you just have to sit by yourself...the list goes on and on making you feel worse.

Just imagine putting these people down and telling them “work on bettering yourself” as if there is something wrong with them in the first place. We are who we are and there is someone out there who will appreciate that. There are tons of individuals out there with very successful careers, lots of money, shredded bodies and yet still single... why you ask; Because There is way more to life and finding your special person than just saying “better yourself.”

Honestly for those that are struggling right now with being single, both men and women, don’t worry about it because I’m right there with you and here to give you some hope. THERE IS someone out there waiting to meet you, I promise! Just hang in there and continue to be yourself. Don’t change who you are for someone else.

While this is definitely a great time to pickup new hobbies or perhaps fit in some regular exercise, do those things because you truly want to, not because you think it will help you meet someone.

Thing is, if I do, I’ll end up putting on like 40 pounds and accomplish absolutely nothing.

Huh. Doesn’t sound too bad actually.

.

Edit: One word: Wow...I'll be coming back to this for years to come probably, thank you so much.

Is anyone else's mental health completely fucked. It does not help that I am in between jobs at the moment (starting in the next couple weeks) but having my parents grow old, my sister 5000km away just makes me incredibly anxious and sad. I can't stop thinking about how pointless life is yet you have to make the big bucks to make it. I'm 34, I live in a very expensive over priced condo that I rent, it's driving me up the wall not being an owner but even though I have serious cash down, I've always worked in sales as self employed so im not even sure how banks will deal with that. I see everyone buying second properties and cottages up north and im here renting a fucking condo for the last 5 years. I feel EXTREMELY insecure about my future and basically when my parents are gone I will legitemely be all alone in this cruel world. I have friends, but you know how it is, friends are friends, nothing more. I feel like the amount of work I have to do to get to where I want to be is unsurmountable. I want a gf, I want kids, I want to be a property owner and most of all, I want financial security and job stability. I literally feel like in 5 years I could either be well off or living on the fucking streets and the thought is driving me insane.

i am extremely nostalgic, I keep going back to memories of xmas as a child with my family still together under one roof and how fucking magical it was. Everytime I think about it I feel like crying. I'm so nostalgic that a moment like that ever existed yet will never come back but the weird thing is, is that I saw my whole family for xmas, everyone reunited and it was really fun and perfect. But Even the memory of that is making me sad again because I won't see my mom for another couple months if not years and same for my sister. Covid has made me realize that for the last 18 years I have been surpressing very real emotions about my family and how devasting it was when every one moved away. I had separation anxiety when I was a kid (could not sleep over at friends) so my brain for sure try to cope with my family moving away by suppressing those feelings but now after almost 20 years, those feelings are hitting me WITH FULL FORCE and it is unbearable. The feeling of loneliness is unbearable, I want a home, not a fucking concrete condo where I can see into my neighbors living room like if it was 5 feet away.

Dating is incredibly

One year ago I began what I what consider the beginning of my spiritual awakening. More recently I’ve begun to start looking into shadow work. I’m very new to this journey and the rigorous inner work it requires. Nevertheless I’ve never felt better for it.

However with that being said, one of my biggest sources of fear stems around love. I know the first step is healing my traumas, healing my inner child, loving myself etc. But I can’t help the intense urge for a partner. I have always desired deep connections with an intimate partner who I can love, support, and share life with. I fear no amount of “spiritual enlightenment or oneness” will replace this desire for me. I deeply desire that one person who truly sees me.

I’m 30 years old and my history of romantic relationships leave a lot to be desired. I tend to attract narcissistic personalities, it’s all I’ve ever really known. Family and all. I just want to connect with someone on the deepest level. In a healthy and soul supporting way.

Does anyone feel like maybe romantic love just wasn’t meant for them this life? I feel alone even knowing that in the grand design, none of us are alone.

Synopsis

It’s not that he’s just not that into you—it’s that there’s not enough of him. Using a combination of demographics, game theory, and number crunching, financial and tech journalist Jon Birger explains America’s curiously lopsided dating and marriage market—and what every single, college-educated, heterosexual woman needs to know.

Call it the man deficit. The shortage of college-educated men is not just a big-city phenomenon frustrating women in New York and L.A. Among young college grads, there are four women for every three men nationwide, except in those pockets, like Silicon Valley, where the economy is driven by a primarily male job market. And this numbers game has wider implications. Birger shows how this unequal ratio explains the college and post-college hookup culture; the decline in marriage rates; even the seemingly paradoxical problem that the more attractive the woman is, the more difficult it can be for her to find a partner. He reaches back to explore the origins of the college gender gap—a combination of the pill, Title IX, and developmental differences between boys and girls.

Then there’s what to do about it, from what college to attend (any with strong sciences and math), to where to hang out (in New York, try a firemen’s bar), to where to live (Colorado, San Jose, Seattle), to embracing the power of the marriage ultimatum—it works.

Excerpts

What if, in other words, the man deficit were real?

Well, it is real, and the numbers are so shocking it’s a wonder they are not talked about incessantly. According to 2012 population estimates from the U.S. Census Bureau’s American Community Survey, there are 5.5 million college-educated women in the U.S. between the ages of 22 and 29 versus 4.1 million such men. In other words, the dating pool for college graduates in their twenties really does have 33 percent more women than men—or four women for every three men. Among college grads age 30 to 39, there are 7.4 million women versus 6.0 million men, which is five women for every four men. For heterosexual women—especially those who put a high priority on getting married and having children in wedlock—they represent a demographic time bomb.

How exactly did gender ratios for the college educated get so skewed? The simple answer is that women have been attending college at higher rates than men since the 198

I find that, in lieu of someone to talk about feeling lonely, reading a lonely book can be quite therapeutic. In fact, sometimes it even feels better, if you ask me.

I've been in a bit of slump lately and was wondering what you guys would suggest. I'm looking exclusively for fiction, so no memoirs, please. I'd say the book that did the best job of this in my recent memory would be I Am Legend by Richard Mathewson. I've yet to read The Great Alone by Kristin Hanna, but based on what I've heard, it sounds like it'd be good, too.

Another chapter from u/eruwenn and I.

First / Prev / Next

-------------------

The irregular family unit followed Choco into the lounge area. Lopez carried the cake, Alex took care of plates and cutlery, and Choco pointed Britney to his briefcase. “Grab that, kiddo.” The blonde picked up the case and as the Erinal began fiddling with their large viewscreen, she popped it open to help herself to one of the chocolates inside.

Upon seeing this, Alex immediately spoke up. “Hey, how did you get that open?”

While Britney pointed to the bio-scanner pad on the front and wiggled her thumb, Choco laughed. “Told you,” he said, nodding at the smiling child with her mouth full of chocolate, “we have a deal.”

“Just be glad she didn’t lick it,” Lopez said with a look of disgust.

As he continued to get nothing but unfavourable looks from the adults, Choco walked over to the case, hitting some hidden buttons and smoothly removing the fake interior with its sugary filling. With a showman's flair, he revealed a host of small devices, plus a slender dagger, small pistol, and assortment of sealed pouches that had previously been hidden. "Everyone gets distracted by the chocolate," he said with a chuckle.

Britney went to help herself to another candy, but Lopez took it from her and placed it back with the rest in the fake suitcase lining. “Enough, you have cake to eat.”

The case’s owner shrugged, passing Britney a fistful of candy. “I don’t mind. I did raid her stash.”

“In that case,” Alex said, reaching out to help herself as well. But Choco, having retrieved what he needed, slammed the case shut. Her fingers were almost caught in the suitcase, and she couldn't help but cry out "Hey!"

“My deal’s with Britney.” The Erinal wagged a finger at her. “No treats for snitches.”

Alex smiled, deciding to switch tactics and attempt to win her niece over. “You’ll share with me, right?”

“Nope,” Britney happily announced. “Snitches can eat dad’s protein bars.”

“Great lesson,” Lopez muttered as she started placing candles in the cake. “Teach the kid prison rules.”

Choco laughed. “We’re not shanking her. Unless she tries to swipe our candy, right?” He winked at Britney who nodded enthusiastically, chewing on half a Snickers. Then he got down to task. “Alright, we have to make this quick. Don’t want anyone getting wise to our work

Artist: Kanye West | Album: Donda

Alternate cover art he has tweeted:

Alternate cover 1

Alternate cover 2

Listen: SPOTIFY | APPLE MUSIC | TIDAL | YOUTUBE

Background by /u/Kitchen_Ur_Lies

The culturally ubiquitous Kanye West, now legally just “Ye”, seemed to be working on everything besides music after releasing his latest solo effort, ‘Jesus Is King.’ A post-Jesus spin-cycle rendition of his cancelled album ‘Yandhi’, it gave listeners what was to be the first of his exclusively non-secular gospel releases “from here on out.” After the uniquely mixed reception to a West effort, Kanye embarked on many ventures outside of music, including helming a creative director role at Gap and casually running for president of the United States. As Kanye’s Gap and very successful Yeezy ventures seemed to make him a billionaire by April 2020, music appeared to be an afterthought for the next iteration of his artistic catalogue.

During an interview with Michèle Lamy in May 2020, cinematographer Arthur Jafa, whose work includes Jay-Z’s 4:44 music video, announced he was [collaborating with West on a single off his previously unannounced record, *God’

People today take marriage and divorce too lightly, in a way that is idealistic and juvenile.

First, because I personally find some of the reasons why people divorce nowadays extremely wrong: Some people say that they’re divorcing because “their marriage did not make them happy”. Newsflash: no relationship will make you happy. If you’re looking for your marriage to make you happy, you will always, always be disappointed. You make yourself happy, not your husband or wife. If you’re not happy you need to seek a therapist, not a divorce lawyer. Other people say they’re divorcing because “they’ve lost the spark” or because “they are not in love anymore”. Another newsflash: any therapist in the world will tell you that the chances of anyone remaining “in love” in a long term relationship are practically null. Which is not a bad thing. Being “in love” and feeling butterflies is something juvenile, and for the beginning of a relationship. Yes, after 10 years together, there probably won’t be any butterflies, and this is perfectly normal. It’s a healthy way of developing a relationship. Again, if you’re looking for a relationship where you’ll be married for 60+ years and still be as in love as you were in the first day, you will fall flat on your face, because this is simply not realistic. Not being in love doesn’t mean there is no love.

Second: people don’t really seem to think, nowadays, about the consequences of getting a divorce. Even if there are no children involved, there are many downsides. Research has proven time and time again things like:

1. Most people who divorce have a big decrease in acquisitive power and quality of life, and the majority of those people never recover their previous lifestyle / monetary circumstances. That is specially true for women. Well over 50% of women who divorce have a significant loss of income that they never get back.

2. You lose friends and relationships, and that contributes to the feeling of loneliness that already comes with the divorce. That is inevitable. You are also not very likely to regain those friendships, since making friends gets harder and harder as you get older

3. Most people who divorce never remarry / get into a stable long-term relationship again successfully. Again, that is specially true for women.

4. A great number of divorced people regret their divorces and / or wonders if they could’ve done something different for decades after the divorce

And this without considering any children

I’m (28M) an introvert. I love being alone. I live a moderated/healthy lifestyle. I’d wake up early in the morning, hit the gym, work, then relax, clean the house, feed the cat, and go to bed. I focus on doing things that I enjoy, which is music festival (with 1 or 2 close friends, sometimes by myself), reading, walking, etc. Occasionally, I’d set up a catch up here and there with some people. That’s about it. My life.

The majority of my time, I do things by myself. I train alone, work alone, walk alone, shop alone, clean alone, etc. I’m quite independent.

The thing is, I do all those things alone, but I’m not frustrated. And that’s the scary part. I’m content and at peace with myself, slowly navigating through life like a singularity floating in the universe.

In saying that, the path to my own sanity, happiness and contentment is a lonely path. I have people around me, but I’m only deeply connected to a few people. And even so, I don’t have the drive to catch up with them often.

I follow a few people on Instagram; people that live in my city. In this vibrant beautiful city, everyone knows everyone. Some of them are my social/party friends. They’d go out, eat out, go to events, party together, take pictures, post them on social media. You know the kind. I know many of them. I have met many of them. In the past, I pushed myself out there to join them, become them. Then I realised, it was exhausting. It was not for me, I didn’t have the energy to keep up. Going out and partying every weekend drain my money, destroy my good habits. All the conversations were appropriate on social level and revolve around people, sex, cool nice fancy things. However, those topics don’t interest me. I’m more interested in discussing knowledge, self improvement, psychology, happiness, motivation, etc. And because of that, I’ve grown distance and eventually stop hanging out with them.

I know relationship is a two way street. I have to put in, so I can get back. To be with them, I need to “be them”. To make friends and keep hanging out with those party friends, I need to talk like them, dress like them, meet people of their kind, and they are the things that I don’t enjoy. And that is why I stop hanging out with them.

I enjoy being “a part of”, but I don’t enjoy being “one of”.

Yesterday, all of them went to a big event together. Every single story on instagram of the people I know are from the same event. They tagged each other. I know them all. I just… wasn’t there. A

This was a response I posted here to a post asking how to meet women (on my other account but I did add a few sentences here) but is long enough to offer its own post. I asked those who enjoyed it if it was relevant enough to post here since it is not traditional seduction advice and they agreed it is. If I’m wrong, please show me where and how. I don’t want to be right, I want to intellectually debate.

Night clubs and night game but the quality of women, on average, is lower. Women in libraries are a lot classier but it’s harder. Unless you build status and social proof.

Most guys here will tell you to cold approach in day time, the way you are, but that advice sucks (assuming your ambitious and value your time. If you don’t value your time, you will regret not doing so on your death bed). Most guys will approach thousands of women before getting a 5-10% number/social media success rate. Why? They’re approaching women in damn ice cream shops, firstly (other comment here). Secondly, most of them don’t even know how easy it is to build wealth in Western nations (assuming you have no baggage like five kids to pay child support for but even then it’s still possible) or how investing your time in skills continuously compounds itself. They can’t compete with the guys who understand that who get all the women without even trying, so they spend hundreds of hours learning day game out of desperation and/or a fear of loneliness. They are overcompensating for their lack of ambition. They don’t want to end up like incels. This is the only man desperate enough to spend hundreds of hours perfecting his craft of picking up women in supermarkets when the real Don Juan has the women picking him up but the incels/“PUA”‘s selling dating advice will tell you this doesn’t exist. Granted, some men just live in ignorance and simply don’t think.

Anyways, let’s continue my essay. Take away all the women that are taken, in a bad mood, lesbians, have kids (unless you want that), psychotic/crazy/narcissistic gaslighting girls/FDS girls that will use you for a free lunch, whatever and you’re left with less than 50% that would be genuinely receptive to a guy talking to them. A good portion won’t find you (not specifically) attractive. Some may give you their number out of pity because you delivered a good performance even if they’re not attracted to you and may go on the date for a free dinner. This is like spending all your money on lottery tickets (instead of your time learning

This is a bit of a brain worm that's been rattling around in my brain since this morning, it seems like it'll be a bit of a slow burn. First submission to the sub, but long time lurker. I'm no professional writer, so if I miss something, lemme know.

Dunno how much I might write, but I've got at least 5 chapters for this of material so far. We'll see.

As a bit of a disclaimer, the main character is nonbinary, so if the they/them's get confusing, just breathe haha. I don't think it's too bad in context. Or maybe it's annoying to read and everybody will hate it, who knows. I just wanted to read a story with a character like me.

Next

Chapter 1

A bored receptionist was tapping at its datapad while several galactic lingua franca translating roughly to Arrivals marched in glowing ideoglyphs and logograms around the edge of their kiosk. Even markers in ultraviolet if Specialist Taylor’s new implants were to be believed.

If they had been equipped to see, Specialist Rowan Taylor would have also detected matching hieroglyphs in infrared and artificial pheromone markers were present by the small desk marked Arrivals. Rowan Taylor slipped through the slowly closing doors leading from Decontamination, glancing about aimlessly, taking in the soft lighting illuminating the atrium clearly labeled Orientation.

After a brief moment orienting themself, they stepped in line for processing. As a new arrival to a Galactic Union station, they were expected to enjoy all the most common conveniences of an interstellar governing body; bureaucracy and waiting in lines. After several moments shuffling, they found themself before the receptionist, who without looking up, droned a monotonous fluctuation of notes and hums even the human understood as a request for documentation.

It was only after a brief pause in processing the ping Specialist Taylor directed to its datapad that the receptionist glanced up, its eyestalks swiveling from the datapad to examine the newest arrival. After a quizzical buzz, which Rowan understood was simple curiosity, the receptionist reached up slightly behind its mandibles, gently activating a translator seemingly glued to the carapace on the side of its head with its manipulator talon.

“A human, most [interesting, curious, intriguing]. Does your species require accommodations deviating from the galactic mean?” the translator spoke, carrying a stilte

Do your worst!