Outlet store Puns

He replied, "Liquor outlet? I hardly know her!"

#1 I was at the outlet mall with my girlfriend and she wanted to check out this shoe store. I follow her in and peruse the store while she looks around. I find these sandals that are on sale, but some only have one shoe. So I pick them up and say, "Hey look, these sandals are.. half off," with the biggest grin. She did one of those one laugh oh my goodness things. #2 A day or two ago I was showing my girlfriend some pictures I took and she said to me, "You know, you've really got an eye." I told her, "I know, I have two." #3 I don't like Twitter and I never have. My gf is the opposite. So she took it upon herself to make me an account and then let me have control. I've posted a few things with my own twist. Instead of using # to tag something I write out "hashtagwhateverIwanttowritehere."

Every time I go to the outlet malls with him, he will walk into all of the shoe stores and roam around in the men's section until a clerk comes to talk to him. When they ask if they can help with anything, he asks "Do you have any adult sizes? All I see are children's shoes!"

And then he proceeds to laugh until he walks to the next store. I love him.