A list of puns related to "Out Last Night"
As far as I’m concerned, I have no son
Edit: Looks like I’m getting downvoted. Pretty sure that’s a good thing on this sub. Some people just can’t think straight
It tasted a little fishy.
My daughter deadpanned response: "with your eyes."
I couldn't have asked for a better anniversary gift. #prouddadmoment.
the food was all right, but the bill was huge!
She said I’ll be home 10-15 mins, Max.
My name is Luke.
I always wait until the end of the credits before I leave the theater.
Slight misunderstanding about the Craps table!
I’ll mop the floor and then do the dishes! I don’t have to do what you say!
She’s trans-parent
We went out for beers. Great talk! He wants to be a web developer one day.
That was no ladle that was my knife!
...I guess I really dodged a bullet there.
(believe it or not this post is based on real-life events 😬)
"I'm on antidepressants."
He's going in for surgery at 3:30pm Pacific. All your positive thoughts and prayers are appreciated.
Edit: Thank you all for the kind words and omg for the gold! He's out of surgery and looks to be recovering nicely. All your well wishes helped cheer him and his parents up.
Guess she just wasn’t a keeper
She hates when I call her that.
Dad goes, "I just moved the potato and there it was!"
And one of our kittens (7mo/f) starts nosing her away aggressively around our feet.
15/f daughter: ‘Oh kitty, what are you doing?’
Me: ‘I think she’s fishing.’
Achievement unlocked: my daughter smiled, and didn’t groan, roll her eyes, or whine ‘Daaaad’.
I said "should we ground it?"
Authorities are looking for a small medium at large.
We were powerless to stop it.
"everyone i looked at"
They are late boomers.
On our last day of a three day trip at Disneyland, my 7 year old revealed his inner father to my wife.
>wife: This backpack is good but could use more shoulder padding.
Son, with a shit eatin' grin, walks up and pats her on the shoulders.
I have never been so proud.
...that in-prison mint isn't as bad as I expected!
I complained to the owner, but even she didn’t give a fork.
First she hit the roof, then the light, then the roof again.
But those were just pipe dreams
The waitress asked, "So what brings you folks to Applebees tonight?" Dad answered, "Our car"
My wife and I were going through old pictures when we found a picture of her from before we met.
I said "Wow, so that's you pre me?"
She said "No I was full term."
I don't think I've ever loved her more.
Because he saw a sign there saying: For-rest
He was in a pour mood
Best play on words I've ever seen.
My son is 6 and he reads everything he sees out loud.
I take a long sip from my giant 7-11 bottle, and he reads the label, "spring water", three times. He then asked, "Why spring water?"
Without a thought, I replied "Because summer water is too hot."
Dad: Did you run after it?
Me: "I'll get the roast duck breast please"
Sis: "I'll have the duck legs"
Mom: "I'll get the fried duck wings"
Dad: "I'll get the bill"
Loving my new sniper rifle.
It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea.
It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea.
...... It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea.
It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea.
It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea.
It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea
He told me he just misunderstood the craps table.
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