How does Dracula write his novels?

He blood types.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iMakeCrap
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
🚨︎ report
I read a novel about a cult that sacrifices books

It was a real page burner

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
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What is Goofy's favorite novel?

The Adventures of Hyuck-leberry Finn

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mudnuka
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
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At my book club, I wondered why they were throwing Stephen King novels around.

Then IT hit me!

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
A Harper Lee novel on trial refused to open up about their case case, but was still judged by it's cover.

Moral of the story... Don't kill animals.

Edit: remove one case

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevographic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Ever since 2017, my New Year’s resolution has been to work on my novel.

Four years going and I’ve almost finished reading it!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ohsopoor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a magistrate reading a novel, so I grabbed it and put it over his face.

He got very angry!!! You shouldn't cover a judge by his book.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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I recently started writing a mystery novel....

Or did I?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cumsock17
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I was reading a novel earlier when my daughter came up to me and asked why the book was so thick.

It’s a long story.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SarcasticaFont
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What did Margaret Attwood title her latest murder mystery novel, about an Egyptian serial killer who kept drowning people?

The Nile-ist

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buttengine
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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I begin to read a horror novel in Braille. Something bad is about to happen...

I can feel it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What Ernest Hemingway novel sees Harry Morgan lose an arm?

A Farewell to Arm.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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What would happen to Thor if he were to write a novel?

He’d become an author.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/singh_j
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
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I asked the librarian if she knew of any authors who wrote dinosaur novels

She said, β€œTry Sarah Topps”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlabamaMayan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
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My wife said she's gonna leave me if I don't change and stop reading erotic novels

I decided to turn over a new leaf

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πŸ‘€︎ u/19BlackHeart99
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
So Poland's dealing with a surge in the number of the novel coronavirus cases. Can we say that the Winged HusSARS arrived?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Niggociable
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a novel narrated by a ghost?

Audioboo!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chaimann
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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What did the novels do when the library caught fire?

They booked it.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
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What's an Agatha Christie novel and Death in Paradise crossover special called?

Poirots of the Caribbean.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Pun name help?

Hey! I'm currently writing a novel. And I'm liking for a pun name based on a word that would suggest them not being real. Please don't give me the actual name. Please give me a word I can work with

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
🚨︎ report
After 10 years of writing, I finally finished my novel, Chronology.

It's about time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HeyWhatsItToYa
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I am currently writing an introduction to a novel about a young man trying to find his former partner.

I guess it's an ex-position.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/moonxmochi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
🚨︎ report
IDENTIFIED: the original source of novel coronavirus imgur.com/AkNQTp2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/l2np
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Two men were caught in a severe storm

John saw a tornado out the window of Frank’s house and said to Frank

β€œJesus man! that’s an F5! We gotta get to cover Frank!”

Tornado rapidly approaches within 100 yards

John was looking for the cellar door and found 2 different ones

β€œFor Fuck’s sake Frank which is the best cellar!?”

With the tornado bearing down on them, Frank sprang into action and grabbed the latest James Patterson novel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dudemansick
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
🚨︎ report
I’m writing a novel about a detail-oriented British pea farmer.

It’s called Mind Your Peas and Queues.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brainsonastick
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do they call it the "novel" Coronavirus?

It's a long story...

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Dads in the future: Why do they call it the novel corona virus?

It’s a long story...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zuckerschneggle
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m writing a book about a guy who sells shoe parts to satan. It’s your basic β€œSold my sole to the devil” novel.
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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Why is Covid19 called "Novel"?

...it's a long story

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
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You know who has a lot of novel ideas?

Stephen King.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jrmyp
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife said, β€œWhy don’t you write a book instead of your stupid word play jokes?”

I said, β€œThat’s.....a novel idea.”

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Ernest Vincent Wright wrote a novel in 1939 called "Gadsby", which completely avoids use of the letter "E".

Sounds a bit prtntious.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I lost my copy of the first book in Michael Grant's best-selling novel series

It's Gone

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jmang00
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2020
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Such a novel idea makes me bubbly
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
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The Novel Coronavirus has become a worldwide health emergency

WHO cares

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked a hipster, β€œWhat’s your favorite Stephen King novel?”

He said, β€œYou probably never heard of It.”

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Steinbeck's best novel
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AmethystMonkey
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I was going to build a house made out of books...

But it was too novel a concept

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Cixin Liu wrote a novel about murdered astrophysicists.

It's titled, "The Three-Body Problem"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dmdeemer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
My midget friend is writing a novel...

He's using a pseudo-gnome to remain anonymous.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
🚨︎ report
All novels written in Braille system are overrated because they have a blind fan base.
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/devmittal_civ16
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
🚨︎ report
At my book club, I wondered why they were throwing Stephen King novels around...

Then IT hit me!

πŸ‘︎ 89
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I began reading a horror novel in Braille.

Something bad is about to happen, I can feel it.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eyetalianman
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2018
🚨︎ report
I’m writing a novel about a detail-oriented British pea farmer.

It’s called Mind Your Peas and Queues.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brainsonastick
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I begin to read a horror novel in braile

Something bad is about to happen I can feel it

πŸ‘︎ 696
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IJustWantMemes789
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2018
🚨︎ report
I began reading a horror novel in Braille.

Something bad is about to happen, I can feel it.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
🚨︎ report
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