Bartender says “Sure... If you say so. Now please leave.”
Guy says, “No really I can prove it.” *turns to dog * “Dog, what is on top this building?” Dog goes “Roof.”
Bartender says “Very clever. Now I’ll ask you again: will you please leave?”
Guy goes “No no seriously! Listen to this: Dog, what is the texture of sandpaper?” Dog goes “Ruff.”
Bartender says “This is the last time I’m going to tell you!”
Guy says “Wait wait please. Dog who is the greatest baseball player of all time?” Dog replies “Ruth”
Bartender: “Get out! I’m calling the authorities!”
Guy and dog leave.
Outside dog turns to guy and says “Jeez. Maybe I should have said Barry Bonds.”
Not many people are aware of its existence but I assure that it is there all the same. The king of this little land faces a lot of difficulty. He wants to make his kingdom into a sovereign nation but unfortunately they do not have the infrastructure, population, or economy to do so. In fact, this small state is only known for a single export. Thanks to their proximity to some of the finest gold and other metals in the world but total lack of an ability to process those metals on a mass scale, they have been left with only one option. You know the saying; when life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Make lemonade they did. This tiny territory is renowned for creating the highest quality watches in the world. No expense is spared and their elite group of craftsmen train for their entire lives from childhood to produce these terrific timepieces. Men of great wealth and taste have been known to trade entire fortunes for just a single one of these watches; that is how valuable they are.
The king knows this and he knows that only a small portion of his populace can ever hope to become one of the respected elite, let alone hold one of their masterpieces in their own hands. Being a very just and fair man, the king ordered the most senior watchmaker in the land to create something the likes of which had never been seen. A watch of such great craftsmanship so as to be above monetary value. The man labored long and hard for many nights to produce the king's watch. When he at last presented the completed work to his lord - in front of the entire nation, no less - he was met with thunderous applause and a warm embrace. He had done it! The king then made a shocking announcement.
"This masterpiece belongs to my people!"
When the roaring of the crowd died down he continued.
"This watch shall be a symbol of my love for all of you. Though I rule over you with supreme authority I do not wish a single one of you to feel that you do not have a voice in the ruling of this nation. From this day on let anyone who doubts my decisions or questions my judgment wear this watch and stand as my equal to voice their concerns. Should even a single one of you think me unfair or wrong in any matter then simply come to my castle and I will present you this token of good faith."
The king made good on his word and from that day on all citizens knew they held the right to challenge their king's rulings. Over time the watch became a symbol of fairness throughout the land. Anyone who wore it
... keep reading on reddit ➡But no authors want to write about him.
Dad: you ever hear of the book The Yellow River?
Me: no
Dad: Do you know the author?
Me: how would I know the author if I haven't even heard of the book.
Dad: well it was written by I.P. Daily
Me: never heard of him
Dad: I.P. Daily?
Me: no- oh
Son: "Mommy. Do you know who wrote this book?"
Wife: "No, buddy. Who?"
Son: "The author."
Me- Did you know, <random author> dedicated her book to her dog?
Dad- No I didn't know that, ButtStuffYes, but, if you ever write a book, you better dedicate it to your dad and momicate it to your mom.
Mom-"thats it im done"
Dad- makes the usual triumphant face
