Actually, nevermind
Nevermind.
It was called Smells Like Green Spearmint.
I just remembered, Nevermind
... Nevermind.
It smells like Teen Spirit.
Ah well, Nevermind
Ahhh nevermind.
Nevermind.
I'd like to know what you guys come up with to tell my friends
Never mind...
A Buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand and says, "Make me one with everything." The hotdog guy gives him a loaded dog, the Buddhist gives him $10 and gets nothing back. Hotdog vendor explains, "Change comes from within."
He says it's because Alternative Facts are all the rage right now.
A good rock band.
... so I sent my niece downstairs with the Nirvana album.
Drifting down the alphabetised rock section, nothing really appealed to me from A-M. Disappointed, I moved around to the other side of the rack when suddenly I felt uplifted, content and at one with the universe. I had reached Nirvana.
Me and this girl I'm seeing were walking around the mall and we decided to go to Hot Topic to kill time. Walking around we saw some car fresheners with band logos on them and my gf picks one up and says "hmm I wonder what Nirvana smells like?"
Without hesitation I answer "Teen Spirit"
It was the most perfect joke set up ever and I don't think I'll ever top it. It was my magnum opus. I don't think she appreciated it as much as I did.
Took a look at her perfume. The name was Elizabeth and James "nirvana". She put it on and I gave it a smell. I told her "you know what this smells like...?" "what?" "...teen spirit."
So my wife and I were in Walmart and she was looking in the candle section. She saw an apple pie candle she was interested in until she saw the price.
"$7 is kind of expensive for a candle don't you think?" She says to me.
Smirking, I see my time for glory; "Why, you don't feel like we have money to burn?"
She called me an ass, but I was already lost in dad joke nirvana.
"Cue up the Nirvana because we're living in the 90s!"
I was out getting food with my mock trial team and we went to a place called Jones Bros which was a cupcake and coffeeshop. I got a coffee called the "Nirvana Carmel Latte". After I sat down, my friend asked me how it tasted. I said "It tastes like teen spirit".
Nirvana comes on the radio and I mention to the wife that this is the first time our 4 month old daughter is hearing Nirvana.
Wife: she probably heard them in utero
Nevermind
Nevermind.
