Liquid
Because it is in denial.
By two letters...
Because they live in da Nile.
he was in de Nile
Because he was in The Nile
Being in De-Nile.
He was in de-nile
De Nile
Because they live in the Nile!
Whenever I'm there I seem to be in de-Nile
I told my friend I was standing in a lake in Africa. He exclaimed to em "no you're not, your in de-Nile!" sorry all.
She was still in de-Nile.
Da Nile river
Because she lived in the Nile
Because theyβre always in de nile
But it turned out to just be a pyramid scheme.
Because theyβre in de-Nile
(From Abbott and CostelloβsΒ radio show, December 30, 1943)
Lou Costello: Oh, Abbott, the worst thing just happened to me!
Bud Abbott: No!
Lou Costello: Yeah, Mrs. Niles gave me a dog for a Christmas present, and the dog just took a great big bite out of me!
Bud Abbott: Where did he bite you?
Lou Costello: Well, if Iβd have been wearing a license plate, heβd have gotten the last three numbers.
Bud Abbott: Where did this happen?
Lou Costello: Well, let me see, where did this happen β in a crowded streetcar. It was the first time I ever gave my seat to a dog.
Bud Abbott: Well, never mind that. What kind of a dog did Mrs. Niles give you?
Lou Costello: Do you remember that famous dog, Strongheart?
Bud Abbott: Yes, I remember Strongheart.
Lou Costello: Well, this is his brother β Weak Stomach.
Bud Abbott: Listen, Iβm not talking about that. What is the dogβs breed?
Lou Costello: What does he breed? He breeds through his nose, like you and me!
Bud Abbott: No, no, no, you dummy, what kind of dog is he? Spitz?
Lou Costello: No, but he drools a little.
Bud Abbott: Look, there are different types of dogs, such as Setters, and Pointers, β¦
Lou Costello: Thatβs it, Abbott! Heβs a Setter-Pointer!
Bud Abbott: A Setter-Pointer?
Lou Costello: Yeah, he sets all day and points at the icebox! (Editorβs note: we now call an βiceboxβ a βrefrigeratorβ)
The Nile.
But he was in denial
Given enough time, the river Nile would become sea-nile. But that time is still pharaohway.
I'm completely in the Nile.
Itβs because theyβre in the Nile.
He was in da Nile
Its the only place to find a good Cairopracter.
He was in De-Nile
Because they live in de-Nile
But every time heβs confronted about it, he gives it no importance.
You could say that heβs living in da Nile.
I built my life around De Nile
Don't believe me? You must be in deNile
Most of this is my own work, if not, it was inspired by something clever!
I hope this will tickle your funnybone and produce a jolly good set of laughs.
A guy didn't register that the wet paint signs about the handrail was still drying, his hand immediately stuck to the rail. My only response to him was, well you see there, it's an application problem, not hardware.
A researcher's obsession with mixing sand, stones, lime and water has started to yield concrete results.
Eyeglass makers who profit well can frame their success.
Joe: I gave the backyard squirrels Christmas presents!
Abby: Are you nuts?
Joe: No, that's what I gave them...
What did the supervisor at the tortilla factory say at the end of a long workday?
That's a wrap!
Television is a medium because anything well done is rare. (Insp)
People who don't answer the phone sometimes miss their calling in life.
His words were heavy, but his friends didn't get the gravity of the situation.
Time flies like crazy!
Fruit flies like apples!
Never let logic and reasoning get in the way of telling a good story. (Sounds like something that would be said on TopGear/Grand Tour)
There are a few words that will open many doors for you in life - Push and Pull (Insp)
Somehow people really don't like it when I throw lamps at them to encourage them to lighten up.
Same goes for tossing handles for when they need to get a grip or soap for cleaning up their act.
When you're on the ballot for the water council and they have a runoff election.
Ghosts speak latin, it's a dead language (Insp)
If you work at a grocery, send the interns down to the meat market to get some red herrings.
There was a river in Egypt that no one believed existed, it was known locally as De-Nile.
Bad luck Brian - Invests in uranium, profits decay.
There was an explosion at the film manufacturing company, reporters say the story is still developing.
Why do bagpipers walk around?
To get away from the noise (Insp)
Most people have a six-figure income, just the decimal point is in the wrong place.
It has recently been discovered that scientific research causes cancer in rats.
In Russia, the term road has had a controversial meaning for a very long time.
In Canada/Russia, you put things in the fridge to warm them up.
Did you know that the creator of Barbie was named Barbara Dahl?
Doc: There's something not q
... keep reading on reddit β‘In de nile
But he kept saying it was lake. Well, someone's obviously in da Nile.
He was in DeNile
Moses started out as a basket caseβ¦
He was in the Nile
In the Nile.
In de Nile
De-Nile
I am not a dad at the moment, but I've learned the art of pretty clever puns in college. Some are mine, some are spins on inspirations, others are more on the joke side of dad.
What does a radioactive cat have?
18 half-lives
Ventriloquists are like psychiatrists, they both talk through things.
What is my vision?
To make the world 10% better?
No, it's about 20/20...
The invention of the shovel was truly a groundbreaking discovery.
Dad: I invested in some uranium, but I lost money.
Friend: What happened?
Dad: The Profit decayed.
We have received a report of a hole being discovered in the ground, our investigative team is looking into it.
There was an explosion at a local film manufacturing company, the story is still developing as we speak.
A local theater put together an act about jokes.
It was a play on words
SΓΈ, I hΓͺΓ‘rd yΓΆΕ« lΓ¬kΓ« fΓΆrΓ©igΓ± aΓ§ΔΔΕtΕ‘
As an airline mechanic would say, the job has lots of ups and downs.
My New Years resolution will probably be 25 megapixels, or 4K, not sure yet...
There was a river in Egypt no one believed existed, it was known locally as De-Nile.
Dad-Epitaph:
I thought I'd never live to see this day come.
There are two things that are guaranteed to open doors in life.
Push and Pull!
(How to keep an idiot in suspense)
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
A man builds robotic snakes for a living, I guess you could say he was a... python programmer!
A researcher's obsession with mixing stone, sand, lime, and water has yielded concrete results.
A madman once attacked a rider on his horse.
The rider had to goto hospital, the horse remains in stable condition.
A man bought a paper shop, it blew away in the wind last night.
Science is all about learning the rules, setting off an absurd amount of explosives, and then writing down what happened.
It has recently been discovered that scientific research causes cancer in rats.
Dad: Did you pick up your room?
Kid: No, I tried but it's too heavy.
He was in de Nile.
He was in de-nile.
In de-Nile.
Sea Nile
... and Pharaoh was in de Nile.
He responded "You must be in De-Nile"
He's in de-NILE
They seem to always get stuck in de nile and refuse to get out
Driving with my dad and as we pull up to a red light the overgrown plants on the side of the road rub up against the car.
Dad: "$5 if you can name that plant." Me: "I don't know" Dad: "Lilly of the Nile. You know what that they call that sound of them hitting the car?" Me: "No. What's that?" Dad: "Petal to the metal."
At the end of the movie, my son quoted the part where Aladdin wishes for the Nile, then quotes the Genie telling him No.
I looked at him and said, "The wish was deniled".
Was watching a travel show about a man walking the river Nile. The guys is talking about the vastness of the river so I turn to my mum and say "It's not that big that big this guy is just in denile". Mum groaned, brother laughed so overall happy with the result!
Me: did you know that the St. John's is one of two rivers in the world to flow north the other one is the Nile.
Dad: I thought denial was when you didn't admit to something.
Me: groans on groans on groans
My dad came back from Egypt and we are celebrating the 4th of July. At a bbq we were eating lunch with the neighborhood. And somebody was joking about denail being great to my dad. Neighbor dad: 'well denial solves a lot of problems hahaha.'
Dad: I just came back from Egypt and I'll tell you da'NILE is pretty great!'
Why wouldn't the Egyptian fish admit he wasn't a shark?
Because he was in de-Nile.
I stepped out of the shower and my girlfriend was watching The Prince of Egypt, an animated movie about Moses. A musical number is about to begin and she tells me, "Good, you're about to see the best part! Moses found out he's Jewish and he's in denial."
"Why'd he get back in the Nile?" I said. She gave me a confused look followed by a disappointed sigh. Her underlying hatred of me grows with every dad joke. Had to share it with you guys.
He was in de-Nile.
