Be careful what you ask for
People who take care of chickens are basically....
Was watching a nature show about whales.
How do the Orcas know how to hunt together?
They must orca-strate it.
Groans from around the room.
Why do cows have hoofs instead of feet?
You should be careful when you have a window of opportunity.
They're a pane to replace
Be careful of dating a tennis player
Love means nothing to them.
Nobody cares about Golden Retrievers
How come they call a place where horses are kept a "stable"…
And not a neigh-bourhood?
No one cares about me - that's why I can't evaporate
My son said, “I accidentally put ketchup in my eye. I should have been more careful.”
I said, “That’s Heinz sight for you.”
Why are fish so easy to weigh
Because they come with there own scales
What did the French snail say when he couldn’t find his care
I asked people what their favourite natural disaster was...
Avalanches won by a landslide.
After careful consideration, I’ve decided to go on an entirely vegetarian based diet.
I will now only eat animals that are herbivores.
"I don't care where those damn cows ran off to."
....said the farmer, callously.
I had a vasectomy because I didn't want any kids.
When I got home, they were still there.
I am always careful in my backyard
Because some trees are nuts.
You do know that modern appliances are really spying on us, and sending back data on our habits. In fact..
Vacuum cleaners have been gathering dirt on us for years.
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs?
Because the cow has the udder
If I had a Stable, I would be careful about my horses after sunset. If one of them escaped after sunset,
Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.
I usually don't care what other people are saying...
....until they start whispering.
I found pictures of Mt. Rushmore before it was carved
Its natural beauty was unpresidented
Be careful around coffins in China.
How to call a fish who cares only for oneself?
You wouldn't know it by looking at him, but my friend is a natural at remodeling kitchens.
the stonefish has no natural predator to fear from....
...except the paperfish, which is supposed to be even more superior.
The ultimate dadjoke. My toddlers believe that on 3 king’s day (along with bringing gifts) the camels severely screw up our home. I put muddy hoof prints throughout, upend the plants, knock over the tree, tear apart fruit, etc.
This year Was a symphony! We had aunts, and two grandmas join in for a seriously epic camel disaster for the kids to discover tomorrow. Feeling proud of my dad skills.
Photos here:
https://imgur.com/gallery/b8sILu3
Edit: the oldest is 5. We celebrated a day early so their aunt could be here. The real 3 kings day is tomorrow. Don’t tell the wise men!
“So, the US is pulling out of the war right? Like, we don’t care about their fighting anymore?”
How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
I ordered a Hit Man to take care of my business partner the other day.
After a change of heart I cancelled the order, but it was too late.
He'd been despatched.
I had to hoof it back up a few blocks to take this picture.
We need to be very careful about collapsing Wall Street so we don’t get crushed by Roof Street
Posted on shower thoughts first, they told me to bring it here. I should have thought of that first. Anyways here ya go.
I guess it's time to answer the call of Nature..💩
A man walks into a pet store and asks for a dozen bees. The clerk carefully counts 13 bees out onto the counter. “That’s one too many!” says the customer.
The clerk replies “It’s a freebie”
Sleeping comes so naturally to me.
I could do it with my eyes closed.
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