State of the Art in 1915: Nathaniel Baldwin Type C. Mod or not?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LSLarry001
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2018
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TIL Nathaniel Baldwin inventor if the headphone, considered his invention "trivial." earlyradiohistory.us/1963…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oblivion_22
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2013
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Former Packers beat writer here: Get to know Nathaniel Hackett

Good afternoon!
I covered the Packers from '18-20 when Nathaniel Hackett came in (before switching to the Bucks & the NBA). I've been an active member of the Bengals and Packers subs when I covered those teams and over on the Bucks sub now.

Anyway, I traded messages with u/BlindManBaldwin about this story, and they said it was cool to post this for y'all. It's a personality profile on Nathaniel, and it's good insight into the kind of guy he is and how he connects with people.

I feel I got know him pretty well, so by all means if you have any questions just holler. I jumped off the Packers beat in Dec. 2020, so it's been a second, but I'm open for whatever y'all might want to know!

https://www.packersnews.com/story/sports/nfl/packers/2019/07/30/packers-offensive-coordinator-nathaniel-hackett-fits-nicely-into-quickly-established-axiom-matt-lafl/1858756001/

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jowczarski
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2022
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The r/indieheads Album of the Year 2021 Write-Up Series: Injury Reserve - By the Time I Get to Phoenix

Howdy! Welcome to the final day of the r/indieheads Album of the Year 2021 Write-Up Series, our annual event where we showcase pieces from some of our favorite writers on the subreddit talking about their favorite records of the year! Today, we have u/American_Soviet on Injury Reserve's By the Time I Get to Phoenix!

September 15th, 2021 - self-released

Listen:

Bandcamp

Background by u/American_Soviet:

Injury Reserve is a Phoenix, AZ hip-hop group, consisting of MC Nathaniel Ritchie (Ritchie With a T,) producer Parker Corey and, previously, MC Jordan β€œStepa” Groggs. Formed in the early 2010s, the group immediately established a cult following online with a series of mixtapes and EPs (Live From the Dentist Office, 2015; Floss, 2016; and Drive It Like It’s Stolen, 2017) showcasing their highly energetic & bombastic style. This era of the trio culminated in 2019 with their acclaimed self-titled debut album on the Loma Vista record label.

In June 2020, Groggs suddenly passed away. The details of his death were never released, and although online fan speculation is easy to find, I do not see it as my place to voice those rumors here. Contrary to popular belief, the vast majority of By the Time I Get to Phoenix was already completed by the time of Groggs’ passing, and the surviving members of Injury Reserve saw to his wish of having the group β€œrelease some weird shit.”

Loma Vista refused to release the album and released the group from their remaining contract. Injury Reserve self-released By the Time I Get to Phoenix on September 15, 2021, and instantly garnered widespread critical & fan acclaim. As of now, the future of the group is unknown.

In the liner notes, the duo wrote about Groggs: β€œTyping here feels small in the space of your real physical absence but you, your voice and your words continue to echo around us all thru these recordings and so many others and everything else. Thank you for your time, we love and miss you, of course of course.”

Review by u/American_Soviet:

*Fragment 1: My grandfather’s initials are the same as mine. Last day I saw him, he slept on a hospice cot, mouth hanging open while he slept. We figured he had already died before we arrived. A nurse sho

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IndieheadsAOTY
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2021
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What I've read in 2021
  1. Descartes - The Principles of Philosophy
  2. Marie de France - The Lais
  3. Bertrand Russell - Why I am not a Christian, and Other Essays
  4. Richard Wright - Native Son
  5. Martin Heidegger - History of the Concept of Time
  6. Martin Heidegger - Being and Time
  7. William Shakespeare - Collected Sonnets and Poems*
  8. Randall Jarrell - Pictures From an Institution
  9. Italo Calvino - If On a Winter’s Night a Traveler…*
  10. Ralph Ellison - Invisible Man
  11. James Baldwin - Notes of a Native Son
  12. Ovid - Metamorphoses
  13. Camille Paglia - Break, Blow, Burn*
  14. Stephen Fry - The Ode Less Travelled
  15. Nathaniel Hawthorne - The Scarlet Letter*
  16. Walt Whitman - Leaves of Grass
  17. Emily Dickinson - The Complete Poems of Emily Dickinson (ed. By Thomas H. Johnson)
  18. T.S. Eliot - β€˜The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock’*, β€˜The Hollow Men’, β€˜The Waste Land’
  19. Gertrude Stein - Tender Buttons*, β€˜Composition as Explanation’
  20. Ernest Hemingway - The Sun Also Rises
  21. Iain Thomson - Heidegger, Art, and Postmodernity
  22. William Faulkner - The Sound and the Fury*
  23. Francois Lyotard - The Postmodern Condition: A Report on Knowledge
  24. Hart Crane - The Bridge
  25. Edna St. Vincent Millay - The Collected Poems*
  26. William S. Burroughs - Junky
  27. Toni Morrison - The Bluest Eye
  28. Richard Rorty - Contingency, Irony, and Solidarity
  29. Lawrence Ferlinghetti - Pictures of the Gone World
  30. John Kennedy Toole - A Confederacy of Dunces*
  31. Thomas Pynchon - The Crying of Lot 49
  32. Ed. by D.A. Russell and Michael Winterbottom - Classical Literary Criticism (Oxford Press)
  33. John Ashbery - Collected Poems: 1956-1987
  34. Philip Roth - Portnoy’s Complaint*
  35. Ed. by Hyman, Walsh, and Williams - Philosophy in the Middle Ages: The Christian, Islamic, and Jewish Traditions (3rd edition)
  36. Joan Didion - The Year of Magical Thinking
  37. J.D. Salinger - Fanny and Zooey
  38. Aristophanes - The Clouds
  39. Ishmael Reed - Mumbo Jumbo
  40. Anonymous (Tr. by Helen Bacovin) - The Way of a Pilgrim
  41. Translation by David Rosenberg; commentary by Harold Bloom; source material written by β€˜J’ - The Book of J
  42. Michel Foucault - β€œSociety Must Be Defended”: Lectures 1975-1976
  43. John Locke - Second Treatise of Government
  44. Sophocles - Oedipus Rex
  45. Sophocles - Oedipus at Colonus
  46. Sophocles - Antigone
  47. John Stuart Mill - On Liberty
  48. Gilles Deleuze - *Essays, Clinical a
... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RoamingTofu666
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2021
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The Constitution

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

Article. I.

Section. 1.

All legislative Powers herein granted shall be vested in a Congress of the United States, which shall consist of a Senate and House of Representatives.

Section. 2.

The House of Representatives shall be composed of Members chosen every second Year by the People of the several States, and the Electors in each State shall have the Qualifications requisite for Electors of the most numerous Branch of the State Legislature.

No Person shall be a Representative who shall not have attained to the Age of twenty five Years, and been seven Years a Citizen of the United States, and who shall not, when elected, be an Inhabitant of that State in which he shall be chosen.

Representatives and direct Taxes shall be apportioned among the several States which may be included within this Union, according to their respective Numbers, which shall be determined by adding to the whole Number of free Persons, including those bound to Service for a Term of Years, and excluding Indians not taxed, three fifths of all other Persons. The actual Enumeration shall be made within three Years after the first Meeting of the Congress of the United States, and within every subsequent Term of ten Years, in such Manner as they shall by Law direct. The Number of Representatives shall not exceed one for every thirty Thousand, but each State shall have at Least one Representative; and until such enumeration shall be made, the State of New Hampshire shall be entitled to chuse three, Massachusetts eight, Rhode-Island and Providence Plantations one, Connecticut five, New-York six, New Jersey four, Pennsylvania eight, Delaware one, Maryland six, Virginia ten, North Carolina five, South Carolina five, and Georgia three.

When vacancies happen in the Representation from any State, the Executive Authority thereof shall issue Writs of Election to fill such Vacancies.

The House of Representatives shall chuse their Speaker and other Officers; and shall have the sole Power of Impeachment.

Section. 3.

The Senate of the United States shall be composed of two Senators from each State, chosen by the Legislature thereof, for six Years; and each Senator shall

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CIAoperator
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2022
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Google Drive eTextbooks release thread (part-101)!+ Accepting requests every day
  • If you find your book in the thread below, send the number of the book via reddit chat or via telegram .
  • Almost all the books are in their latest editions and some of them are available in multiple editions too
  • Books (pdf) are delivered through Google-Drive link
  • You can also send requests via reddit chat or by telegram .
  • Also, upvote the post if you found it useful

Please find the list below:

  1. (eBook PDF)Constitutional Law for a Changing America Rights, Liberties, and Justice 10th Edition Kindle+PDF by Lee J. Epstein , Thomas G. Walker

  2. (eBook PDF)Chemistry: An Introduction to General, Organic, and Biological Chemistry 12th edition by Karen C. Timberlake

  3. (eBook PDF)Criminal Law Today 6th Edition by Frank Schmalleger , Daniel E. Hall

  4. (eBook PDF)Chemistry: An Introduction to General, Organic, and Biological Chemistry 13th edition by Karen Timberlake

  5. (eBook PDF)Doing Ethics Moral Reasoning, Theory, and Contemporary Issues 5th Edition by Lewis Vaughn

  6. (eBook PDF)Drugs, Society, and Human Behavior 17th Edition by Carl Hart, Charles Ksir

  7. (eBook PDF)Effective Teaching Methods Research-Based Practice 9th Edition by Borich Gary D.

  8. (eBook PDF)Effective Training Systems, Strategies, and Practices 5th Edition by P. Nick Blanchard, James Thacker

  9. (eBook PDF)Ethical Problems in the Practice of Law (Aspen Casebook) 4th Edition by Lisa G. Lerman, Philip G. Schrag

  10. (eBook PDF)Families and Their Social Worlds 3rd Edition by Karen Seccombe

  11. (eBook PDF)Microbiology The Human Experience by John W. Foster , Zarrintaj Aliabadi , Joan L. Slonczewski

  12. (eBook PDF)Gardners Art through the Ages A Global History, Volume I 16th Edition by Fred S. Kleiner

  13. (eBook PDF)Gateways to Democracy An Introduction to American Government, Enhanced 4th Edition by John G. Geer , Richard Herrera , Wendy J. Schiller , Jeffrey A. Segal

  14. (eBook PDF)Hospitality Law Managing Legal Issues in the Hospitality 5th Edition by Stephen C. Barth, Diana S. Barber

  15. (eBook PDF)International Human Resource Management 7th Edition by Peter Dowling , Marion Festing , Allen Engle

  16. (eBook PDF)Introduction to Information Systems People Technology and Processes by Patricia Wallace

  17. (eBook PDF)Introduction to Learning and Behavior 5th Edition by Russell A. Powell , P. Lynne Honey , Dian

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/textbooks6
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2021
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I'm back and open for trading!

Hi all, long time no see! It's been a while since I last traded, but are now back and are currently working on a website. It isn't done yet but I'm open for trading anyway, however only for my wants. You can find my collection at the end.

You can reach me either by DM or Lumiclys@gmail.com

My Wants:

Waitress West End June 15, 2019 (its-all-green)

Cast: Katharine McPhee (Jenna Hunderson), David Hunter (Dr Jim Pomatter), Peter Hannah (Earl Hunterson), Marisha Wallace (Becky), Laura Baldwin (Dawn), Shaun Prendergast (Joe), Jack McBrayer (Ogie), Stephen Leask (Cal), Kelly Agbowu (Nurse Norma), Arabella Duffy (Lulu) Ensemble: Kelly Agbowu, Piers Bate, Nicole Raquel Dennis, Chris McGuigan, Olivia Moore, Nathaniel Morrison, Charlotte Riby

Notes: A fun emotionally charged night for the whole cast as its the last show for: Kat, Laura, Jack and Arabella || Laura got an ovation after "When he sees me" and Kat reviceved one after "She Used to be mine"|| Someone sneezed after "Never Ever Getting Rid of Me", Laura started to laugh as, then the whole cast started to collectively loose it || Includes goodbye speeches


Waitress West End March 14, 2020 (OPSTrades)

Cast: Sara Bareilles (Jenna), NaTasha Yvette Williams (Becky), Evelyn Hoskins (Dawn), Gavin Creel (Dr. Pomatter), Joel Montague (Ogie), Richard Taylor Woods (Cal), Andrew Boyer (Joe), Tamlyn Henderson (Earl), Laura Selwood (Nurse Norma), Madison Worley (Lulu), Olivia Moore (Francine Pomatter), Laura Selwood (Mother)

Notes: Final London performance as producers have just announced its closure. Sara and Gavin's last after a 7 week run, NaTasha's eighth and final performance as their runs were cut short unexpectedly. Probably Sara's last ever performance in Waitress. An excellent audience, lots of reactions and a standing ovation after SUTBM. Gavin has a momentary break in the Bad Idea reprise, both Sara and Gavin break during You Matter to Me. The cast gave their all, with a special shoutout to NaTasha for finishing I Didn't Plan It nearly a full octave above the original score. Sarah, Leanne and Mark on instead of Monique, Rosemary and Nate.


Wicked Broadway May 12, 2019 (unknown)

Cast: Jessica Vosk

Notes: Jessica’s last performance


Wicked Orpheum Theatre, San Francisco September 5, 2010 (SJ Bernly)

Cast: Marcie Dodd (Elphaba) Alli Mau

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OmegaLou
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2022
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TIL that the Mormon Fundamentalist movement was funded by... headphones!?

So that’s why they ban headphones on the mission /s

Cristina Rosetti, a non-Mormon Mormon historian gives a fascinating overview on polygamy in Utah and what lead up to its eventual discontinuation.

She mentioned that Nathaniel Baldwin, inventor of the headphones, was an avid supporter of those who broke off from the mainstream LDS church due to disagreement with its discontinuation of polygamy. He donated large sums of money (Cristina said β€œall his money”) from his headphone sales to help early fundamentalists print pamphlets about how the main LDS church was in apostasy.

Here’s the interview: https://youtu.be/t68PjdLvOD8

(Baldwin’s involvement is around the the one hour and one minute mark... sorry I’m too dumb to do a time stamp)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zengem11
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2021
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The Liberal-Republican convention of 1857 | Kingdom of Hesternia

My apologies. It is 1757 and not 1857.

George Jenkinson has promised to step down in 1858 after the end of the 1857 elections. Now, two major parties try to win the Presidency. But first they must nominate who will be their candidate and who will be the candidates running mate. - A group of Liberals and Republicans have formed the broad coalition that is the Liberal-Republican party, in hopes of defeating the Nationalist Party in the upcoming elections.

-Nathaniel Payne

Nathaniel Payne is the 53 year-old Governor of Cusledge, and has been recognized as one of the most powerful people in the state. Prior to serving as Governor, he served as a Senator and briefly as a Representative. As Governor, he has been accused of being corrupt and & steering federal contracts towards he & friends; supports expanding Hesternia into other regions like annexing more land but also expanding the "Empire" and developing more colonies in Africa; supports lowering tariffs slightly but keeping them moderately high for revenue purposes; and he also supports a National Bank. Payne's views on Slavery are hypocritical to say the least. Payne advocated for abolishing slavery, but also owns over 100 slaves, and has been known to treat them harshly.

Nathaniel Payne

-Benjamin G. Trumbull

Benjamin George Trumbull is a 57 year-old Senator from Gladehurst, and has taken national attention for his fiery oratory. Trumbull helped create the Liberal-Republican party, with him being a founder of the party. Trumbull has popularized a plan he has which he calls the "20 Year Plan" which would involve moderately high tariffs for 20 years, a National Bank, and high spending on infrastructure for Revenue, stability, and to improve the quality of life in Hesternia respectively. Then, all three would be would be "eliminated". Trumbull has taken a strong stance against slavery, and has spoke against it in many fiery speeches across the country. He opposes expansion and developing new colonies in Africa, wishing to keep peace in both Europe, and the world.

Benjamin G. Trumbull

-Abraham Baldwin

Abraham Baldwin is a 49 year-old Senator from Cusledge, and has worked closely with Governor Nathaniel Payne to pass Liberal reform

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheNewMrToast
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2021
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SERIOUS: This subreddit needs to understand what a "dad joke" really means.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/anywhereiroa
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
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A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit walk into a blood donation clinic.

The nurse asked the rabbit, β€œwhat is your blood type?”

β€œI am probably a type O” said the rabbit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/snc8698
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2022
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I’ve got this disease where I can’t stop making airport puns.

The doctor says it terminal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xIR0NPULSE
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2022
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Just because it's a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CzarcasmRules
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2022
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Blind Girl Here. Give Me Your Best Blind Jokes!

Do your worst!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Leckzsluthor
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2022
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I heard that by law you have to turn on your headlights when it’s raining in Sweden.

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/justshtmypnts
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2022
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Puns make me numb

Mathematical puns makes me number

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tadashi4
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2022
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So my mom is getting her foot cut off today.. (really)

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slimybirch
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2022
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Petition to ban rants from this sub

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drak0ni
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2022
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French fries weren’t cooked in France.

They were cooked in Greece.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2022
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.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SupremePalash
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2022
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Why does Spider-Man's calendar only have 11 months?

He lost May

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toku-Nation
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2022
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When I was a single man, I had loads of free time.

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2022
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You've been hit by
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mordrathe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2022
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ADOW sequel FanFic

Hey kids,

I've always loved creative writing and over the past few months, in my spare time, I've been working on a storyline, characters and writing of my sequel fanfic to ADOW. I've been writing the plotline and creating fully-fledged out character profiles while spending hours on ArtBreeder.com to create my perfect character portraits. I spoke about this idea several months ago and got a good response for my initial idea of witches trying to kill all the weavers again in the modern era. However, due to the fact I'm far too inexperienced with writing major enemy focused conflicts I've decided to swap to a slightly easier write: a superpowered coming of age story based around Philip and Rebecca as young adults going through personal issues ranging from relationship issues to development of dangerous powers around the turn of their 20th birthdays in early November 2030.

The story will have a range of POV's mainly being Philip and Rebecca along with Diana and Matthew in particular settings and several OC characters.

Philip's story will mostly be around dealing with his vampiric traits which have developed more as he begins to form the early stages of a mating bond with Margaret Wilson, Nathaniel and Sophie's daughter. His story will be about him coming to trust himself more around the girl he loves while also beginning to become a real danger to her safety as he is starting to lose control more both around her and other warmbloods, even his mother, Diana.

Rebecca's story is going to be based around the recovery from a toxic relationship with a human girl who played on Rebecca's feelings of isolation to have Rebecca turn her into a vampire. During this period she comes into the path of a relatively young vampire who is staying under Matthew's protection due to this fledgling showing symptoms of Bloodrage. A growing romance begins to bloom between this wild natured Bright Born and young Vampire.

Here are the character profiles and some basic information about each character.

https://preview.redd.it/v78ed7asyzu71.png?width=508&format=png&auto=webp&s=60df601a44c9a3ca8d73ff4a7d40dba0ec18a964

Name: Philip Bishop-Clairmont
AKA: Pyro, Pip

Age: 19
Birthday: November 23rd, 2010
Height: 6ft 4”
Nationality: USA-France-UK

Personality: Chaotic Good.
Always the centre of attention, but it never goes to his head. Kind and compassionate while having moments of impulsiveness that always lead to trouble. Quite unpre

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jarry913
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2021
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My 4 year oldest favourit joke, which he very proudly memorized and told all his teachers.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/smoffatt34920
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2022
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I'm sick of you guys posting dumb wordplay in here for awards and upvotes.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/diggitygiggitycee
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2022
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Dropped my best ever dad joke & no one was around to hear it

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies πŸ˜‚

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vegetable-Acadia
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2022
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Girlfriend got me good. Never been more proud of her.

Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.

Gender is fluid.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mannheimd
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2022
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What starts with a W and ends with a T

It really does, I swear!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PsychedeIic_Sheep
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2022
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My wife left me because I couldn’t stop doing impressions of pasta

And now I’m cannelloni

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bluestratmatt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2022
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Why did Karen press Ctrl+Shift+Delete?

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eoussama
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2022
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Steve JOBS would have made a better President than Donald Trump

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ok-Ingenuity4838
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2022
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I just flew in from Chernobyl

And boy are my arms legs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JhopkinsWA
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2022
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My 7 year old daughter just told me this one. I'm so proud. What did the duck say when he bought chapstick?

Put it on my bill

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigRedHusker_X
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2022
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What do you call a woman who’s really good at darts?

Amy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cinema_King
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2022
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So 2 trees got arrested in the town I live...

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/K1ll47h3K1n9
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2022
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No gains
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ridi86
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2022
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I was almost upset that my coffee tasted like dirt today

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scarf_spheal
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2022
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How eggs-traordinary
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rix27_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2022
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Duckduckgo
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πŸ‘€︎ u/findmebatman
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2022
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What is the scariest tree?

BamBOO!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/K1ll47h3K1n9
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2022
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Geometry sucks
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kash30
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2022
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What is a a bisexual person doing when they’re not dating anybody?

They’re on standbi

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toby-the-Cactus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2022
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My ten-year-old daughter came up with this at dinner tonight: What do you get if put a copy of Macbeth on top of a dictionary?

A play on words.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ah1887
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2022
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Screw it, here’s the entire U.S. Constitution

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

Article. I.

Section. 1.

All legislative Powers herein granted shall be vested in a Congress of the United States, which shall consist of a Senate and House of Representatives.

Section. 2.

The House of Representatives shall be composed of Members chosen every second Year by the People of the several States, and the Electors in each State shall have the Qualifications requisite for Electors of the most numerous Branch of the State Legislature.

No Person shall be a Representative who shall not have attained to the Age of twenty five Years, and been seven Years a Citizen of the United States, and who shall not, when elected, be an Inhabitant of that State in which he shall be chosen.

Representatives and direct Taxes shall be apportioned among the several States which may be included within this Union, according to their respective Numbers, which shall be determined by adding to the whole Number of free Persons, including those bound to Service for a Term of Years, and excluding Indians not taxed, three fifths of all other Persons. The actual Enumeration shall be made within three Years after the first Meeting of the Congress of the United States, and within every subsequent Term of ten Years, in such Manner as they shall by Law direct. The Number of Representatives shall not exceed one for every thirty Thousand, but each State shall have at Least one Representative; and until such enumeration shall be made, the State of New Hampshire shall be entitled to chuse three, Massachusetts eight, Rhode-Island and Providence Plantations one, Connecticut five, New-York six, New Jersey four, Pennsylvania eight, Delaware one, Maryland six, Virginia ten, North Carolina five, South Carolina five, and Georgia three.

When vacancies happen in the Representation from any State, the Executive Authority thereof shall issue Writs of Election to fill such Vacancies.

The House of Representatives shall chuse their Speaker and other Officers; and shall have the sole Power of Impeachment.

Section. 3.

The Senate of the United States shall be composed of two Senators from each State, chosen by the Legislature thereof, for six Years; and each Senator shall

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lilnoah27
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2021
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Some document I found online

The Constitution of the United States: A Transcription Note: The following text is a transcription of the Constitution as it was inscribed by Jacob Shallus on parchment (the document on display in the Rotunda at the National Archives Museum.) The spelling and punctuation reflect the original.

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

Article. I. Section. 1. All legislative Powers herein granted shall be vested in a Congress of the United States, which shall consist of a Senate and House of Representatives.

Section. 2. The House of Representatives shall be composed of Members chosen every second Year by the People of the several States, and the Electors in each State shall have the Qualifications requisite for Electors of the most numerous Branch of the State Legislature.

No Person shall be a Representative who shall not have attained to the Age of twenty five Years, and been seven Years a Citizen of the United States, and who shall not, when elected, be an Inhabitant of that State in which he shall be chosen.

Representatives and direct Taxes shall be apportioned among the several States which may be included within this Union, according to their respective Numbers, which shall be determined by adding to the whole Number of free Persons, including those bound to Service for a Term of Years, and excluding Indians not taxed, three fifths of all other Persons. The actual Enumeration shall be made within three Years after the first Meeting of the Congress of the United States, and within every subsequent Term of ten Years, in such Manner as they shall by Law direct. The Number of Representatives shall not exceed one for every thirty Thousand, but each State shall have at Least one Representative; and until such enumeration shall be made, the State of New Hampshire shall be entitled to chuse three, Massachusetts eight, Rhode-Island and Providence Plantations one, Connecticut five, New-York six, New Jersey four, Pennsylvania eight, Delaware one, Maryland six, Virginia ten, North Carolina five, South Carolina five, and Georgia three.

When vacancies happen in the Representation from any State, the Executive Authority thereof shall issue Writs of Election to fill such Vacancies.

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/carl164
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2021
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The Liberal-Republican convention of 1757 | Kingdom of Hesternia

George Jenkinson has promised to step down in 1758 after the end of the 1757 elections. Now, two major parties try to win the Presidency. But first they must nominate who will be their candidate and who will be the candidates running mate. - A group of Liberals and Republicans have formed the broad coalition that is the Liberal-Republican party, in hopes of defeating the Nationalist Party in the upcoming elections.

-Nathaniel Payne

Nathaniel Payne is the 53 year-old Governor of Cusledge, and has been recognized as one of the most powerful people in the state. Prior to serving as Governor, he served as a Senator and briefly as a Representative. As Governor, he has been accused of being corrupt and & steering federal contracts towards he & friends; supports expanding Hesternia into other regions like annexing more land but also expanding the "Empire" and developing more colonies in Africa; supports lowering tariffs slightly but keeping them moderately high for revenue purposes; and he also supports a National Bank. Payne's views on Slavery are hypocritical to say the least. Payne advocated for abolishing slavery, but also owns over 100 slaves, and has been known to treat them harshly.

-Benjamin G. Trumbull

Benjamin George Trumbull is a 57 year-old Senator from Gladehurst, and has taken national attention for his fiery oratory. Trumbull helped create the Liberal-Republican party, with him being a founder of the party. Trumbull has popularized a plan he has which he calls the "20 Year Plan" which would involve moderately high tariffs for 20 years, a National Bank, and high spending on infrastructure for Revenue, stability, and to improve the quality of life in Hesternia respectively. Then, all three would be would be "eliminated". Trumbull has taken a strong stance against slavery, and has spoke against it in many fiery speeches across the country. He opposes expansion and developing new colonies in Africa, wishing to keep peace in both Europe, and the world.

-Abraham Baldwin

Abraham Baldwin is a 49 year-old Senator from Cusledge, and has worked closely with Governor Nathaniel Payne to pass Liberal reforms in the state. Baldwin has taken a strong stance against tariffs and the National Bank, and opposes both strongly. Baldwin opposes developing new colonies in Africa and other parts of the world, as he fears what White settlers would do to the Africans there, as Baldwin himself is sympathetic to the blights of Africans. Baldwin opposes slavery

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheNewMrToast
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2021
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This subreddit is 10 years old now.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/frexyincdude
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2022
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