In search of spiritual enlightenment, I travelled to India and encountered a mystic sage that worshipped flat bread and flat bread only.

He was a naan believer.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JuliusJustice
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 01 2021
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Very Mystical [Miss-Dick-El]
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FermentToBee
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 26 2021
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A dwarf who was a mystic escaped from jail.

The news said there was a small medium at large.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JoeJoey2004
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 06 2021
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Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Hatlesshobo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 17 2020
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What's a mystical car that can grant you three wishes?

A lambor-genie

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Fitzz7
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 17 2019
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What do you call a wizard that walks everywhere barefoot, has poor bone density, and bad breath ?

Super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/son-of-CRABS
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 31 2020
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Gandhi is well known for his spiritual guidance, ascribe mystical powers to him...

We know he frequently fasted which made him somewhat frail and caused bad breath. We also know that he often went without shoes, making the souls of his feet very tough.

This made him a... Super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

(I’ll see myself out)

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/aisored224
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 22 2019
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I found a way to appease a mystic

I found a happy medium

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/nave_plays
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 07 2018
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I went up a mountain to speak to a mystic.

I asked him, "Can you tell me what it's all about, existence and all that?" His eyes looked up at me, from underneath his bushy brows. Solemnly he said, "That is is a tricky question, but you should go work in an aquarium. "I was confused. "An aquarium, why is that?" "Because then you will have porpoise in life."

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Peteman22
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 25 2018
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Which mystical creature has the softest fur?

The were-wool-f.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Pdonkey
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 28 2019
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If you think men are better than women at giving fortunetellers backrubs, that’s massage a mystic.
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jeramyguitar
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 11 2018
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Gandhi

Gandhi, by the time he died, he was a very thin and elderly man who had walked almost everywhere he went barefoot causing thick pads on the bottom of his feet. He was also an extremely wise man who many considered a seer, and he ate ethnic Indian cuisine causing bad breath........Turns out he was a super fragile calloused mystic hexed by halitosis.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Aw8nf8
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 25 2020
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So, Gandhi, right?

On average, this guy walked 11+ miles per day for 40 years. WITHOUT SHOES.

Dude fasted frequently, too, so he didn't get a lot of the nutrients that most people get on a daily basis and presumably had bad breath.

That being said, Gandhi was...

A SUPER CALLOUSED FRAGILE MYSTIC HEXED WITH HALITOSIS.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Hey_HoofHearted
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 02 2020
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I saw a mystical beast with an interesting thing on it's head...

It was a unique horn.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jimmytodd
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 09 2018
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There was an old hermit who lived in a cave and walked a lot, but didn't have shoes. He also didn't have the greatest health and had really bad breath. They called him the:

Super Calloused Fragile Mystic Plagued with Halitosis.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/l8rry394
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 20 2020
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So Gandhi fasted every day. His body got weaker and weaker. His feet grew incredibly tough from walking barefoot. He was deep into Hindu spirituality. Unfortunately, he had chronic bad breath.

I guess what I'm trying to tell you is that Gandhi was a super fragile, calloused mystic suffering from halitosis.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jfshay
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 14 2020
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I heard that there was a gnome mystic that broke out of prison.

He is a small medium at large.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ysabelknits
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 22 2017
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Where do you put your mystical cards?

In the tarot bowl. A threatening bovine on one of these cards is the terror bull. The cards are made out of paper, so they're tearable. When you take the cards out of the bowl, the bowl is now tare-able. But truth be told, this long pun is terrible.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/zizmax_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 26 2013
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Did you hear that Julie Andrews will no longer be supporting cheap lipstick? It crumbles easily and makes her breath smell.

In a quote she said "The super color fragile lipstick gives me halitosis".

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/yougotyolks
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 03 2020
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Ghandi spent a lot of time walking through the desert, so his feet hurt and he was always thirsty and weak. It's also very hard to brush your teeth in the desert.

He was a super calloused fragile mystic with extra halitosis.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JEJoll
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 14 2020
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Did you know that Gandhi never wore shoes? And due to his fasting he was very weak and had awful breath?

He was a super-fragile-calloused-mystic-hexed-by-halitosis

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Uchi_mata18
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 01 2019
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What do you call a fortune teller who only sees the worst in things?

A pessi-mystic

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bigpapasatan
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 13 2020
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I have a bit of bad news to share about Gandhi.

You know he fasted a lot, which made him skinny and frail. He also walked barefoot for most of his life. Spent a lot of time pondering life's imponderable mysteries. Oh, and they say he had bad breath. In other words, I guess Gandhi was a super-fragile calloused mystic suffering halitosis.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jfshay
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 08 2019
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I got fired for giving a back rub to a psychic.

They don't tolerate massage-a-mystic behavior.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Omny87
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 26 2016
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My family visited a rude psychic, with degenerative bone disease, who insisted all of us had bad breath....

She was a super callous fragile mystic expecting halitosis

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Skarkroe
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 30 2018
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John the Baptist

John the Baptist of Biblical fame used to walk through the desert in his bare feet. This left his feet tough, which is understandable- the hot sand and rough terrain would leave anyone's feet tough. He was known to receive signs from God and occasionally perform mystical feats. He subsisted on a diet of locusts and honey. Without access to dental hygiene at the time, this left him with somewhat bad breath. It also left him frail, as the diet wasn't varied and would have required an immense intake of food to be remotely sustained.

I guess that you could say that he was a super-callused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/edpeters1
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 04 2017
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Someone posted a joke on inauguration day and now I can't stop thinking of Trump puns, so I'll just dump them here.

He probably has quite the hair-care bill, but I'm sure he's willing toupee for it.
It seems that everyone on the internet is Russian to say good things about him.
After his inauguration speech, everyone gave him a big hand.
His favorite winter Olympic event is the LYUUUUGE!
The other half of his supporters can be described with ancient, mystical legends: the Deep Lore-ables.
Nobody will be able to use cheap cotton drapes or table cloths after his ban on muslins.
Since the start of the cold war, many U.S. presidents have pissed off the Russians. Trump is the first to be accused of pissing ON them.
I subscribed to his newsletter because I never turn down a free MAGA-zine subscription.
Melania got used to everyone crowded into Trump Tower during the campaign. Now that everyone's gone, she looks around and it's just a little Barron.
Joke that inspired me is here : https://www.reddit.com/r/puns/comments/5p4ebt/on_donald_trumps_inaguration/

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Fat_Hitchhiker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 23 2017
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Gandhi walked the desert with no shoes, no food, and no tooth brush, my friend had the nerve to say.

I guess he was a super-calloused-fragile-mystic-fraught-with-halitosis.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SvmaHaus
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 13 2018
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Gandhi

I heard Gandhi often went shoeless, so his feet were very tough. He was a vegetarian, so he had a thin build. Lastly, he fasted often, which has a tendency to cause bad breath.

All of those factors combined made him a super calloused, fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Flooberjibby
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 08 2015
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I once tried to tickle a unicorn but missed...

It was a mystical experience.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DemoBunny
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 21 2014
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Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ..

A super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis (edited, thanks kind friends for the correction!)

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/banditk77
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 22 2020
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Mahatma Ghandi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an incredible set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail. Plus, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Edit: I do now realize I misspelled Gandhi. I cannot edit the title, just know that I see it and am sorry.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SamuraiSAM5
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 08 2019
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Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him, A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 23 2020
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Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him, A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Edit: Wow! Didn't expect this big reaction! Thanks for the silver! Edit 2: And gold!? Thanks again! :)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/auroraborora
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 06 2019
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Mahatma Ghandi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an incredible set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail. Plus, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Edit: I do now realize I misspelled Gandhi. I cannot edit the title, just know that I see it and am sorry.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 43
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DrunkRedditBot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 07 2020
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Gandhi was amazingβ€”fasted every other day, walked barefoot, deep thinker...with bad breath.

it’s true. he was a super-fragile calloused mystic suffering halitosis.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jfshay
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 26 2020
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Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him a...

Super calloused fragile mystic with extra halitosis.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 75
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 17 2018
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Because Ghandi was barefoot all the time and had bad hygiene...

He was a super calloused fragile mystic plagued by halitosis.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 12 2017
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