I’ve decided to name my son Mark.
That way, when I die, I’ll be able to say I left a mark on this world.
My friend Tony asked me not to say his name backwards
My neighbor is a farmer and asked for name suggestions for her new born calf that start with the letter J.
Context for non-Indians - Her name is Shilpa. Get it?
My middle name is Stevenson because my dads name is Steven and I’m his son.
So I guess you could say dad jokes are my middle name.
Alright guys, which is the best name for a llama? (All pun based)
My fathers name is Parkin
He has a genetic disease, that i too have.
I am Parkin's son
My name is James Pond
https://preview.redd.it/9xul1iqrvuh61.jpg?width=577&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aa91d7b8ec2bf5425cbe5c884fccf4de6c658b1e
"Hello, My name is Dave and I'm addicted to baby powder "
Lance is an uncommon name nowdays
But in mediaeval times people were called lance a lot
My draught told me she has a new friend at school named Tia.
I replied, "Does she cry a lot?"
What is another name for a paternity test?
A pop quiz!
(I don’t know why this makes me giggle)
I need w pun for the name "Emily"
Which name for a man is the most colourful?
What is the name of farm owned by a vegan lesbian couple?
I wrote down the names of all the people I hate on a piece of paper, but my roommate used it roll up a joint.
Now he’s high on the list of people I never want to talk to again.
George Clooney has a twin brother. Do you know what his name is?
*This is a literal Dad Joke my father used to tell when I was a kid about 30 years ago. He's almost 80 now and it still makes him laugh.* - So, there was this man named James Fart. Everybody made fun of him since he was very young. "James Fart! James Fart" the bullies used to make him cry...
He came of age among this suffering and at 21 was finally able to legally change his name. He arrived at the government office where he presented himself:
-I'm James Fart and I want to legally change my name!
Of course they laughed at him (everybody did) but eventually they all settled and came around to the situation.
-Ok, so... your current name is.. ·chuckles· James Fart... I'm sorry, I just...
-I know, everybody has been laughing at my name since as long as I can remember.
After a long and tedious process, everything is ready.
-Very well, sorry for the delays but you know how hard this protocols are. The good news: you are no longer "James Fart", what name do you want instead?
-Charles Fart.
My wife called me at work and said “it’s time, the baby is coming”
I said that’s impossible, Labor Day is in September!
(New dad of a 3 week old, trying to step into my new role)
My son is starting school soon and thinks the other children will pick on him because of his name. I reassured him, "Don't be silly!"
"Why would anyone pick on you, Someoneyourownsize!?"
When I was young I was a graffiti artist and had my name all over the city but as I got older I thought "This has to stop".
"The writing's on the wall."
My new horse’s name is Mayo.
What is the name of a Swedish detective?
If a girl named Sierra is cremated, and mixed into crayon wax, what color crayon is she?
What is Cardi B’s name after she went to the gym?
My youngest daughter was diagnosed with scoliosis when she was 5. That’s the same time we began calling her by her middle name, Sarah.
Her first name is Eileen.
I will never name my child Vince
I named my dog 6miles. So I can tell people I walk 6miles every day!
LPT: If you are trying to stay in a hotel that’s completely booked, just tell the receptionist that your name is “improvement”.
Because there’s always room for improvement.
Why is Lance an uncommon name today?
Because in the Middle Ages they used Lance a lot.
Whenever my artistic girlfriend is sad, I let her draw things on my body....
I gave her a shoulder to crayon.
My goldfish named Nate died.
So, to not make my kids sad, I bought another goldfish. He was an alternate.
If I ever win a big monetary prize or inheritance, I'll change my last name to Bates.
My butler won't be amused though.
My girlfriend is a square root of -100
Perfect 10, but purely imaginary.
My friend said I wouldn’t be able to name two structures that hold water.
I was like, “Well, damn.”
What is another name for toenail polish?
My son Luke loves it that we named all our kids after Star Wars characters...
My daughter Chewbacca, not so much.
"Dad, I need help with my grammar homework. Can you name two pronouns?"
My sister is going on a date for coffee with a guy named joe....
You could say she’s going for a cup with Joe.....
Ebay is so useless
I searched for lighters but ti only came up whith 14,852 matches
My wife is constantly changing her name, but gets mad at me when I call her the new name.
Sometimes it's hungry, sometimes it's tired, sometimes it's angry. Please help.
My friend Tony asked me not to say his name backwards.
My friend tony asked me not to say his name backwards
My friend Tony asked my not to spell his name backwards...
My friend Tony asked me not to spell his name backwards
Lance is a very uncommon name nowadays
But in medieval times people were called Lance a lot.
I wrote down the names of all the people I hate, but my roommate used the paper to roll up his joint
Now he’s high on the list of people I never want to see again.
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