My Annoying Brother Puns

I am really getting tired of his ant ticks

Him suddenly: Hey man, I’m kinda short on money Me: Huh? Him: So could you leave me a loan?

Soon he reached mock 3.

Me: "but the door only moves side-to-side!"

When getting ready to leave the house:

"Dad can you put my shoes on?"

"They won't fit me"

And upon picking them up from school:

"How was Doris today"

"Dad, there is no one at school called Doris"

"Oh was she sick today?"

My younger brother once annoyed by my dad and said, then you are not my father. You can guess what my dad replied....

Anyway my dad said "good, I have one less problem now"

Other times my dad also said "ok, I have two kids left now"

He could say something like "did your mom said something"

My younger brother is an ass, so is my dad to him. They annoy each other quite often, I think they like it. When my little bro (He was a teenager then) get angry he usually says to my dad "I will leave this house, and go to where none of you will never find, and I will never come back", my dad have many answers, like

• Please tell me the place, I want to run away too
• You can take your little sister with your too
• What documents do you need for that?
• Are you still here? Can I help you with packing
• Oh, that will make it easy for me, ha ha

I dont remember most of it, you can guess!

My brother usually go out and then forget about it, until one day he moved out, and comes back after a while, lol, of course! My awesome dad died 7 years ago, he was annoyingly humorous.

We were getting ready to leave for the gym when his little brother walks in wearing a Superman costume and yells, "I'M THE STRONGEST MAN ALIVE!!!!" My friend was annoyed with his brother and scoffed something about, "Luke you can't even bench the bar." Luke starts to giggle and said, "I bench you I can!"

So I went snow tubing with my brother a a week ago. It was raining and my brother was saying how it would be annoying that the tubes would be wet.

"Yeah, that would be... tube-ad."

I then laughed silently to myself for the next 5 minutes.

My brother is always playing games on his laptop. This annoys my Mum to no end.

As Mum was about to cook dinner:

   

Mum: I'm going to give [brother] the cold shoulder.

Me without missing a beat: But that's the best part of the ham!

   

Groan.

Was talking with my S.O. who mentioned Jack Gleeson (King Joffery) spoilt the death of Sirius Black in the Order of the Phoenix. When I called him a cunt for it she said "Are you seriously getting annoyed at that?". Her brother interjected "I guess you could say he's a Sirius fan!"

I replied I am really getting tired of your ant ticks.