I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

If you want a TL;DR skip to the end for the election predictions, the section is called 2021 General Election Predictions.

Seattle elections are the first local elections I've ever paid attention to. In college, probably like most people, I did not really pay attention to local elections. I never even registered at my college. I kept my registration in my home state and just went home to vote in the presidential elections. Once I moved to Seattle I wanted to change that and pay more attention to local politics. I've only lived in Seattle for 4 years at this point but I can definitely say Seattle elections behave differently than national elections due to how the city, county, and state run elections and due to the Seattle electorate. I really got into looking at local election data right after the 2019 city council elections. At least one ballot box location, the Seattle Central College box, filled up multiple times on election day and because of how King County counts ballots, ballots submitted earlier get counted first, Kshama Sawant and Andrew Lewis won their elections while being behind in the Tuesday and Wednesday ballot counts. Looking at the detailed precinct level data showed that at least for Sawant's win she won the extremely dense and therefore influential west side of Capitol Hill. This year with the 2021 citywide elections I wanted to dive deeper into the data to try and figure out what areas of the city could be as influential to mayoral elections and along the way I attempted to predict the winners of 2021 general election in November.

A Crash Course in Seattle Elections

Let me give a quick introduction to Seattle elections. All elections in Washington, except for presidential elections are run as a top-two primary. In this style of election all candidates, Democratic and Republican, are on the same primary ballot and all compete for the top two spots. This can lead to both candidates in the general being from one party. Other strange outcomes can occur as vote splitting can happen. The linked Wikipedia article gives more detail. Seattle city elections have the added benefit of being non-partisan, candidate's parties are not listed on the ballot. Washington is also a vote by mail state and has been statewide since 2011

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Buenosdillas

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

You take away their little brooms

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved

Him: I can explain everything!

(It's his best joke yet I think)

Bob

Just to clarify, 12345678

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.

Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...

Notices there's only 2;

Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."

I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.

I was just sitting there doing nothing.

If you want a TL;DR skip to the end for the election predictions, the section is called 2021 General Election Predictions.

Seattle elections are the first local elections I've ever paid attention to. In college, probably like most people, I did not really pay attention to local elections. I never even registered at my college. I kept my registration in my home state and just went home to vote in the presidential elections. Once I moved to Seattle I wanted to change that and pay more attention to local politics. I've only lived in Seattle for 4 years at this point but I can definitely say Seattle elections behave differently than national elections due to how the city, county, and state run elections and due to the Seattle electorate. I really got into looking at local election data right after the 2019 city council elections. At least one ballot box location, the Seattle Central College box, filled up multiple times on election day and because of how King County counts ballots, ballots submitted earlier get counted first, Kshama Sawant and Andrew Lewis won their elections while being behind in the Tuesday and Wednesday ballot counts. Looking at the detailed precinct level data showed that at least for Sawant's win she won the extremely dense and therefore influential west side of Capitol Hill. This year with the 2021 citywide elections I wanted to dive deeper into the data to try and figure out what areas of the city could be as influential to mayoral elections and along the way I attempted to predict the winners of 2021 general election in November.

A Crash Course in Seattle Elections

Let me give a quick introduction to Seattle elections. All elections in Washington, except for presidential elections are run as a top-two primary. In this style of election all candidates, Democratic and Republican, are on the same primary ballot and all compete for the top two spots. This can lead to both candidates in the general being from one party. Other strange outcomes can occur as vote splitting can happen. The linked Wikipedia article gives more detail. Seattle city elections have the added benefit of being non-partisan, candidate's parties are not listed on the ballot. Washington is also a vote by mail state and has been statewide since 2011

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "