Why would T. Rex struggle to play the piano?

They’re extinct.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
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So I was tired after a long day...

So as soon as I got home, I flopped onto a couch, and slept for an hour or two with my arm under a textured pillow. When I woke up, the texture left the textured markings on my arm. So I showed my brother, and he said β€œyou have weird sleeping patterns”.

πŸ‘︎ 76
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πŸ‘€︎ u/M3lon_Lord
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2017
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Dad gets some ink

A man visits a tattoo parlor with a rather simple, but strange request. He requests a short, straight line tattooed on his upper arm.

Once the first tattoo heals, he returns, asking for another, exactly the same as the first.

After a few more visits, it becomes clear to the tattoo artist that he's tattooing tally marks on the customer's arm.

Curiosity getting the better of the tattoo artist, he asks, "What are you counting?"

The man answers, "How many tattoos I have."

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scruluce
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2018
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I'm proud of myself...

My sister and I were fighting (in a lighthearted manner) and she was trying to get pen marks on my arms. I picked up her guitar and used it to protect myself from her ink attacks. She got mad and said, "That's worth $200!"

Then I replied, "That's a pretty expensive pen."

She started laughing and I had time to escape... I dad-joked my way out of a predicament!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ May 23 2014
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