Lynn Whitfield Puns

This took me a MINUTE! But I'm bored with covid and was wondering who the oldest and youngest housewives were. The only birthday that I could not find at all was Sarah the bow-eater from RHOC :( Enjoy!!

1. Kim Granatell (September 12, 1950) (71)
2. Jeana Keough (September 18, 1955) (66)
3. Lea Black (April 23, 1956) (65)
4. Lynne Curtin (October 26, 1956) (65)
5. Ramona Singer (November 18, 1956) (65)
6. Faye Resnick (July 3, 1957) (64)
7. Lynda Erkiletian (September 17, 1957) (64)
8. Kathy Hilton (March 13, 1959) (62)
9. Eileen Davidson (June 15, 1959) (62)
10. Quinn Fry (October 29, 1959) (62)
11. Lisa Vanderpump (September 15, 1960) (61)
12. Lauri Peterson (October 28, 1960) (61)
13. Kim DePaola (April 22, 1961) (60)
14. Caroline Manzo (August 23, 1961) (60)
15. Adrienne Maloof (September 4, 1961) (60)
16. Vicki Gunvalson (March 27, 1962) (59)
17. Danielle Staub (July 29, 1962) (59)
18. Karen Huger (May 3, 1963) (58)
19. Elyse Slaine (June 29, 1963) (58)
20. Lisa Rinna (July 11, 1963) (58)
21. Tammy Knickerbocker (July 17, 1963) (58)
22. Carole Radziwill (August 20, 1963) (58)
23. Sonja Morgan (November 25, 1963) (58)
24. Jill Zarin (November 30, 1963) (58)
25. Yolanda Hadid (January 11, 1964) (57)
26. Shannon Storms Beador (March 24, 1964) (57)
27. Kim Richards (September 19, 1964) (57)
28. Cindy Barshop (October 11, 1964) (57)
29. Kathryn Edwards (October 16, 1964) (57)
30. Dorinda Medley (December 13, 1964) (57)
31. LuAnn DeLesseps (May 17, 1965) (56)
32. Charrisse Jackson Jordan (July 16, 1965) (56)
33. Michaele Salahi (October 1, 1965) (56)
34. Kathy Wakile (October 4, 1965) (56)
35. Ana Quincoces (November 10, 1965) (56)
36. Adriana de Moura (November 26, 1965) (56)
37. Barbara Kavovit (January 4, 1966) (55)
38. Garcelle Beauvais (November 24, 1966) (55)
39. Marysol Patton (May 9, 1967) (54)
40. Kimberly Bryant (January 14, 1967) (54)
41. Cynthia Bailey (February 19, 1967) (54)
42. Margaret Josephs (April 9, 1967) (54)
43. Alexia Echevarria (May 3, 1967) (54)
44. Siggy Flicker (June 1, 1967) (54)
45. Leeanne Locken (June 7, 1967) (54)
46. Stacie Scott Turner (July 16, 1967) (54)
47. Tamra Judge (September 2, 1967) (54)
48. Sheree Zampino (November 16, 1967) (54)
49. Nene Leakes (December 13, 1967) (54)
50. Kelly Bensimon (May 1, 1968) (53)
51. Rosie Pierri (June 12, 1968) (53)
52. Camille Grammer (September 2, 1968) (53)
53. Jennifer Gilbert (December 24, 1968) (53)
54. Heather Dubrow (January 5, 1969) (52)
55. Kyle Richards (January 11, 1969) (5

Hi all! Decided to combine my two favorite things- names and snarking on fundies!

The Bates family are a large homeschooling fundamentalist Christian family in IBLP. They have 19 children and 19 grandchildren.

Parents: William Gilvin ‘Gil’ Bates and Kelly Jo Bates

1. Zachary Gilvin ‘Zach’

• married to Whitney Eileen Perkins
• 4 children: Boy Girl Girl Boy
• Bradley Gilvin, Kaci Lynn, Khloe Eileen, Jadon Carl ‘JC’
• Notes: JC is named after his maternal grandfather James Carl ‘JC’

2. Michael ‘Michaela’ Christian

• married to Brandon Timothy Keilen
• notes: Michaela was originally named Michal until her parents read her story in the Bible and decided to change it. Apparently it was free to change one letter so they names her Michael. She goes by Michaela pronounced like Michael with an a, not Mikayla

3. Erin Elise

• married to Charles Stephen ‘Chad’ Paine III
• 4 children and pregnant Boy Girl Girl Girl Girl
• Charles Stephen ‘Carson’ IV, Brooklyn Elise, Everly Hope, Holland Grace, Finley Marie
• notes: Erin picks the first name and Chad picks the middle. Marie is after Chad’s mother whose middle name is Maria

4. William Lawson ‘Lawson’

• Engaged to Tiffany Lian

5. Kenneth Nathaniel ‘Nathan’

• married to Esther Joy

6. Alyssa Joy

• Married to John Elliot Webster
• 4 Girls
• Allie Jane, Lexi Mae, Zoe Joy, Maci Jo
• Notes: Allie Jane is named after maternal Great Grandmother Jane ‘Janey’. Maci Jo is named after maternal grandmother and great grandmother Kelly Jo and Betty Jo

7. Tori Layne

• married to Robert Ellis ‘Bobby’ Smith III
• 3 kids boy boy girl
• Robert Ellis ‘Kade’ Smith IV, Kolter Grey, Charlotte Raine

8. Trace Whitfield

• Courting Lydia Romeike (unknown middle name)

9. Carlin Brianne

• Married to Evan Patrick Stewart
• 1 child and currently pregnant girl boy
• Layla Rae

10. Josie Kellyn

• married to Kelton Edward Balka
• 2 girls
• Willow Kristy, Hazel Sloane
• note: Kristy is Kelton’s mom’s name. Josie Kellyn is supposed to be like the inverse of Kelly Jo.

11. Katie Grace

• Married Travis James Clark

12. Jackson Ezekiel

13. Warden Justice

14. Isaiah Courage

15. Addallee ‘Addie’ Hope

• Note: named with all double letters as a reminder that God gave her a second chance - she had complications during birth and almost died

16. Ellie Bridget

17. Callie-Anna ‘Callie’ Rose

18. Judson ‘Jud’ Wyatt

19. Jeb Colton

Any favorites? Least favorites? Which adult couples naming style do you like most or least?

1987:

Anthony Hopkins as Dr. Victor Fries/Mr. Freeze

Michael Douglas as Bruce Wayne/Batman

Matthew Broderick as Dick Grayson/Robin

Rebecca De Mornay as Dr. Pamela Isley/Poison Ivy

Julia Roberts as Barbara Wilson/Batgirl

Arnold Schwarzenegger as Antonio Diego/Bane

Peter Cushing as Alfred Pennyworth

Ernest Borgnine as Commissioner Gordon

Kim Cattrall as Julie Madison

Judd Hirsch as Dr. Jason Woodrue

Lynn Whitfield as Ms. B. Haven

Bo Derek as Nora Fries

Director: Ridley Scott

1997 (Alternate):

Patrick Stewart as Dr. Victor Fries/Mr. Freeze

Michael Keaton as Bruce Wayne/Batman (If he stays)

Marlon Wayans as Drake Winston/Robin (Race-Swap instead of Dick Grayson/Robin)

Nicole Kidman as Dr. Pamela Isley/Poison Ivy

Christina Ricci as Barbara Wilson/Batgirl

Randy "Macho Man" Savage as Antonio Diego/Bane

Michael Gough as Alfred Pennyworth

Pat Hingle as Commissioner Gordon

Elle Macpherson as Julie Madison

John Glover as Dr. Jason Woodrue

Vivica A. Fox as Ms. B. Haven

Vendela Kirsebom as Nora Fries

Director: Tim Burton (If he directs instead of Joel Schumacher)

2007:

Bruce Willis as Dr. Victor Fries/Mr. Freeze

Keanu Reeves as Bruce Wayne/Batman

Ryan Gosling as as Dick Grayson/Robin

Bryce Dallas Howard as Dr. Pamela Isley/Poison Ivy

Evan Rachel Wood as Barbara Wilson/Batgirl

Nathan Jones as Antonio Diego/Bane

Peter O'Toole as Alfred Pennyworth

Tom Skerritt as Commissioner Gordon

Natasha Henstridge as Julie Madison

Tony Shalhoub as as Dr. Jason Woodrue

Regina Hall as Ms. B. Haven

Jaime Pressly as Nora Fries

Director: Sam Raimi

2017:

Jason Isaacs as Dr. Victor Fries/Mr. Freeze

Michael Fassbender as Bruce Wayne/Batman

Josh Hutcherson as Dick Grayson/Robin

Emma Watson as Dr. Pamela Isley/Poison Ivy

Chloë Grace Moretz as Barbara Wilson/Batgirl

Paul "Big Show" Wight as Antonio Diego/Bane

John Cleese as Alfred Pennyworth

Tom Selleck as Commissioner Gordon

Jessica Biel as Julie Madison

Stanley Tucci as Dr. Jason Woodrue

Kerry Washington as Ms. B. Haven

Lady Gaga as Nora Fries

Director: Tim Burton

2027:

John Cena as Dr. Victor Fries/Mr. Freeze

Adam Driver as Bruce Wayne/Batman

Tom Holland as Dick Grayson/Robin

Alexandra Daddario as Dr. Pamela Isley/Poison Ivy

Millie Bobby Brown as Barbara Wilson/Batgirl

"The Titan" Adam Scherr as Antonio Diego/Bane

Timothy Dalton as Alfred Pennyworth

Dennis Quaid as Commissioner Gordon

Emily Ratajkowski as Julie Madison

Simon Pegg as Dr. Jason Woodrue

Keke Palmer as M

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

See Courtois, Early, Farmer, Forward, Friel & Friel, Walker, Whitfield, Woititz, Beck, Biere, Courtois & Ford, Fischer, Gibson, Green, Heller & LaPierre, Herman, Kauffman, Kluft, Lynn & Rhue, Miller, Putnam, Roth & Friedman, Schwartz, Tangney & Dearing, Van der Hart et al, and Van der Kolk (just for starters) in A CPTSD Library.

Than catch Kenneth Copeland or one of the other frothing maniacs ranting and stalking back & forth in front of some mesmerized congregation of sheep who've been conditioned, in-doctrine-ated, instructed, imprinted, socialized, habituated, and normalized to such (ostensibly) "ADULT" behavior since before they could say "Dada."

Then tell me I'm delusional.

(I mean, we know now what Joseph Stalin's and Adolph Hitler's childhoods were like; see Antonov-Ovseyenko's, Ulrich's, and Kershaw's biographies.)

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Zachary Gilvin-I think Gilvin sounds like the name of a British oil magnate's ridiculously privileged son, but Zachary is a fine name and it has the built-in nickname of Zach, which has always seemed like a 90s skateboarder name to me but not a terrible one. 5/10.

Michael Christian-Oh here we go. I would say this was a nice classic name for a boy but I never understood why they gave it to their daughter. I guess Michaela is alright but for the love of God I don't know why it's pronounced Michael-UH instead of Mi-KAY-Luh. Also they need to pick a lane and stop flip flopping between Michael and Michaela. 2/10.

Erin Elise-I actually really like this name, I've always liked Erin and love love love Elise. And I appreciate the alliteration, I just think the name fits her really well. 9/10.

William Lawson-William is a fine first name but fuck Lawson sounds so stupid. So of course he goes by his middle name. It sounds like the name of the main character from a shitty 1960s western show. Lawson Of The Wild Frontier. 4/10.

Kenneth Nathaniel-Kenneth has always sounded kinda doofy to me (I can't help but think of Kenneth Parcel) but Nathaniel is fine. I don't like the nickname Nathan though, it sounds like a douchebag name and makes me think of French fries. 4/10.

Alyssa Joy-Simple but cute and very fitting to Alyssa. 8/10.

Tori Layne-I like the name Tori and this flows well, but Layne hits that trying too hard to be trendy and unique at the same time sweet spot that annoys me so much. Also doesn't she share a name with a porn star? 6/10.

Trace Whitfield-God this is such a stupid name. Where the fuck did Trace come from? Traces of piss on the pee stick? Traces of amniotic fluid? Traces of love long ago? Either way it's a dumb name. And Whitfield? Huh? That sounds like a farm where you pay extortion-level prices to pick strawberries. 1/10.

Carlin Brianne-Carlin will always make me think of Marlin from Finding Nemo, and I'd also never heard of this name in my life until I discovered the Bates, but strangely, I don't hate it. IDK how to explain it but she really looks like a Carlin. I would've preferred Carlin Brianna, but as it is Brianne is fine. 7/10.

Josie Kellyn-I actually think Josie is a super cute name, but Kellyn is odd. Did they want her middle name to be Kelly but thought Josie Kelly didn't sound right? I think Josie Lynn would have sounded better. 5/10.

Katie Grace- A little basic, yes, but a sweet and classic name. I may be a little bia

Nothing, he was gladiator.