Ran into my dad when I was out and about with a friend. We sat down for a drink and conversation somehow turned to our respective work places. My friend says "I work at Google and there...". My dad interrupts him and legit goes "Really?! You work at Google? I Google at work!" with this stupid grin on his face.
I could hear loudly my friend's silent groan :)
While choosing a frozen vegetable to eat with dinner I handed my oldest a bag of peas to place in the cart. He looked at them reluctantly. I asked if they wanted to pick something different. After neither boy answered me I said, "speak now or forever hold your peas."
Both sons AND a nearby stranger gave eye rolls!
EDIT: I've never been to the front page before. Thanks for all the love fellow dad jokers!
So we’ve got this FisherPrice Projector Mobile thing that projects a rotating imaging onto the ceiling. (Very nice little thing, highly suggest for babies)
Anyways... We’ve got it set up in the living room and Wife, Son, and I are laying on the ground in the dark watching it go round and round. It’s Jungle Themed, so a lion, elephant giraffe, tiger, a few monkeys, and so on...
We’re pointing out the different animals to Son and he’s repeating a few words here and there... When he starts waving and saying “Hi” as a new animal rotates in.
So Wife goes, “Here comes the Lion. Can you say Hi to the Lion?”
And Son waves and says “Hi!” and giggles.
Wife: “And there’s an Elephant! Can you Hi to the Elephant?”
Son: “Hi... toots”
Wife: “Yes! Toots! And here’s the next animal. Can you wave to the tiger?”
Son: “Hi!”
Wife: “That’s the ‘Hi of the Tiger’”
Me: “... 💀 💀 💀”
Wife: “You love me... Look Son! A Zebra!”
http://imgur.com/ymB2qOL
Used an image cause it has an image in it.
I maintain a small pun page on Facebook because a bunch of my family and friends would "complain" every time I'd post an image pun to my personal page.
My 17 year old step-son just sent me this one for the page. I'm so proud of him.
When behind him he hears:
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP...
Walking faster, he looks back and makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street towards him.
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP...
Terrified, the man begins running home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him.
FASTER
FASTER
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP...
He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, and slams it shut and locks it behind him.
However, the casket crashes through the door, with the lid of the casket clacking
Clapity-BUMP...
Clapity-BUMP...
Clapity-BUMP...
on his heels, the terrified man runs.
Rushing upstairs in the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.
With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door. Bumping and clapping towards him
A man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup! Desperate, he throws the bottle of cough syrup at the casket and...
The coffin stops.
Growing up in the country, there were silos everywhere. Every single time we would drive past one, without fail, my dad would say, "You know, a guy got stuck in one of those one time and went crazy. Yep, poor guy couldn't find a corner to go to the bathroom in."
No matter how many times we groaned at that joke, dad never missed a chance to tell it.
)
