The local prison only does electrocutions one day a week.

On Friday

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πŸ‘€︎ u/supercman99
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2021
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My friend was released from prison on parole and as community service, he had to paint the local Catholic church confession booths a shade of green...

It was a tone mint for his crimes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2021
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They started a poetry class at the local prison...

But I don't know how I feel about it... There are prose and cons

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Caddiss_jc
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
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An infamous psychic dwarf has escaped from the local prison!

There's a small medium at large.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainNuge
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
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There was a disturbance at the local prison last night, and I saw a midget escaping...

As he was climbing over the wall, he sneered at me before dropping to the floor. I thought to myself "Well that's a little condescending".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vidoardes
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2017
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I started a literary criticism group at the local prison

It's called "Prose and Cons"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/desleaunoi
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2017
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My university lecturer said that he gave a seminar to at a local prison last week...

...he then told us how much he enjoyed having a captive audience.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2013
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At the local jail, due to COVID restrictions, prisoners are now required to take their own mug shots

They’re calling them cell-fies

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πŸ‘€︎ u/micknotmike
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2021
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Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his fellow inmates…

The warden saw that deep down, Andy was a good person and made arrangements for Andy to learn a trade while doing his time.

After three years, Andy was recognized as one of the best carpenters in the local area.

Often he would be given a weekend pass to do odd jobs for the citizens of the community and he always reported back to prison before Sunday night was over.

The warden was thinking of remodeling his kitchen and in fact had done much of the work himself.

But he lacked the skills to build a set of kitchen cupboards and a large counter top, which he had promised his wife.

So he called Andy into his office and asked him to complete the job for him.

But, alas, Andy refused.

He told the warden, "Gosh, I'd really like to help you but counter fitting is what got me into prison in the first place."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
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There once was a man.....

There once was a man who had a job driving a passenger train between two large towns. It could be a very dull job to some, but as the old saying goes, one man's trash is another's gold; he wanted to be a railroad man since he was a boy.

He was a wiz behind the controls of the train, and commanded the 15 car vehicle effortlessly as if he had been born to do the job. He prided himself on the fact that he could bend the rules and speed through curves and grades that made other motormen shiver and back off.

One day however, he wasn't so lucky and came round a bend too fast and derailed his train. He backed off the throttle and braked as much as he could, managing to only have one fatality out of 500 passengers on his train.

Months later there was a trial and he was found guilty of manslaughter in the highest degree, a capital offence in that land, and sentenced to die by electric chair. Punishment came swift, unlike most places, and 3 days after sentencing the former railroader was asked for his last meal.

"I'll have a banana," "Just a single banana?" said the perplexed guard. "The warden will grant you a feast and all you want is that?"

"Just a single banana." he said.

After he downed the fruit, he was strapped into the electric chair an hour later.... The warden hit the switch, lights flickered, and the crackle of electricity could be heard for over a minute...

...but our train jockey instead rose from the chair looking more like he got a stiff massage, rather than be put to death! Well in that nation, the law of the land states that if a man somehow survives being put to death, they must be set free...

...And so it came to pass that our engineer was let go...

And for whatever reason, he got his job back!

So he was back railroading again doing the job that he loved. You'd think he'd have been more cautious with this second chance he'd been given, but you'd also be wrong. Speedy Gonzales with a train license decided to gun his locomotive to hard and send it off the tracks again!

Of course, this time he was tried for the same crime, but at a different time (his was a fair commonwealth and double indemnity was simply unheard of!) So fair was their nation, that the jury came up with the same judgement and punishment. So three days later, when asked for his last meal, the engineer simply said "I'll have 2 bananas..."

Not less than 60 minutes after consuming the last morsel was he strapped into the chair and the switch thrown... And....

NOTHING.

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/onmugen
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2016
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