Little Mac Puns

A Scot named Wayne MacTavish was a very frugal, thrifty painter. He often thinned the paint with turpentine to make it go a wee bit further.

He got away with this for some time - until the Baptist church decided to do a restorative painting on the outside of one of its biggest buildings. Wayne put in a bid, and because his was the lowest, he got the job.

He set about erecting the scaffolding with the planks, and then bought the paint. And, yes, I am sorry to say, he thinned the paint with turpentine.

Wayne was up on the scaffolding, painting away, with the job nearly completed. Suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder. The sky opened, and the rain poured down, washing all the thinned paint off the church. Wayne was knocked clear off the scaffolding and landed on the lawn among the gravestones. He was surrounded by little puddles of thinned and useless paint.

Wayne was no fool, He knew this was a judgement from the almighty, so he got down on his knees and cried,

"oh, God, forgive me! What should I do?"

And from the thunder, a mighty voice spoke,

"Repaint! Replaint and thin no more!"

Wife "your lunch is very orange"

4yo "what do you mean? "

Wife "well you have Mac and cheese which is orange and a Clementine which is orange"

Me "well, the Clementine is only a little orange"

My 2.5-year-old son was singing Old MacDonald in the car and decided to be a little silly by having each verse be a progressive number of mittens on his farm.

When he got to five mittens, I asked him, "Why would he need so many mittens? How many hands does he have?"

While my son was thinking it over, my wife replied, "They are for all of his farmhands."