Little Crackers Puns

We just LOVE Puttin’ on the Ritz!

I was discussing the snack supply with my family. I got a box of graham crackers a few days ago, and evidently they went through that, and bought another box, and went through that too. I said to them, "wow, you go through a lot of graham crackers... maybe you should start buying kilograham crackers." Four sets of eyes around the table went like this in unison:

≖_≖

ಠ_ಠ

-_-

I enjoyed a quiet little cackle while they stared.

But very little for his crackers

Be aware We ordered a Chinese takeaway from a local place (I won't name them) I went to pick it up last night and as I was driving home, I heard the bags rustling and moving!!WTF??!!! I thought what the hell is that. Has something got in the bag, I thought I could see a little pair of eyes peering out at me. I was driving so I leaned forward, picked up the bag, put it on the passenger seat and there it was again, more rustling and little eyes looking out behind the prawn crackers, I thought its got to be a rat or a mouse or something, so I carefully pulled the bag down ... And there it was ... ... A Peeking Duck!!!

So my wife is currently working from home and her employer decided to send her a hamper package in the mail. It was quite nice but pretty standard stuff. Wine, some cookies, crackers and also a bottle extra virgin olive oil (came with a cheese platter kit)

Wife was pretty happy about the fancy packaging and showed it to me saying "look they even sent extra virgin olive oil in this little fancy bottle for cheese platters!"

My response? "Aww that poor olive oil bottle never had sex? So sad!"

...Pls send help

After stopping for fuel and snacks at a little service station we resume travel. My friend got a bag of little crackers and chips mixed together. He offers me some and feeling snackish, "okay yeah I guess maybe I'll have a bit" he replies very quickly "you can have a bite too" at which point I realize it's a bag of bit and bites. Damn it.

I hate to do this about a local business but feel you deserve to know. 😕

** Be aware **

We ordered a Chinese takeaway from a local place (I'm not going to name them) I'd just been to pick it up and as I were driving home, I heard the bags rustling and moving!!! I thought what the hell is that? Has something got in the bag? I thought I could see a little pair of eyes peering out

I was driving so I leaned forward, picked up the bag, put it on the passenger seat and there it was again, more rustling and little eyes looking out behind the prawn crackers!

I thought its got to be a rat or a mouse or something, so I carefully pulled the bag down ...

And there it was ...

... A Peeking Duck!!!