When I go to IHOP it’s always a little bit strange
The servers there give me the crepes.
Sprinkle just a little bit....
A bull bought a bottle of shower gel for a ram as a gift. A ram felt a little bit awkward
because he usually use baa soaps.
This made me blow a little bit of air out of my nose
Why is it illegal to put a little bit of very strong alcohol into a coffee cup?
Because it's literally a mugshot.
After his divorce, Jeffrey Bezos needed a little bit of space
I got a little bit sunburned.
Just a little bit of meat.
Our dog has been a little under the weather so we took him in for a checkup. The vet picked him up, studied him for a bit, sighed and said, "I'm really sorry, but I'm gonna have to put him down." Tears welling in my eyes I sputtered, "Why!? What's wrong with him?"
The vet replied, "Nothing major, he's just really heavy!"
He was feeling a little bit off.
Kids, little bit of a lesson for you. Time flies like an arrow.
And fruit flies like a banana.
Man, 2020 is rough. But I have a little bit of hope for you.
I am not proud of this... okay maybe a little bit
Here’s a little bit of advice.
Please don't touch my new tattoo. It's a little bit-saw.
What vegetable is only a little bit cool?
Sorry guys but I’m feeling a little bit puny today
Here's a little bit of advice.
Let me begin by telling you a little bit about myself..
It's a reflexive pronoun that means 'me'...
If my eyeglasses were just a little bit stronger
I would enter them in a weightlifting competition.
If everyone has the same and I have a little bit more...
This might be a little bit door-key, but I like puns
Just mentioned to the Mrs that I’ve always had a little bit of a thing for Beyoncé. “whatever floats your boat” she said. “No” I said “that’s buoyancy”
Been overfeeding my dog a bit. Want him to be a little husky.
My boss came into the office and poured us all shots to celebrate the birth of his daughter. I asked why the liquor had little bits of gold floating around in it, and he explained it was Goldschläger
Everyday I like to take a little bit of time just kind of set it aside and forget about it
That way by the end of the year I'll have a few days to myself
Every day I like to take a little bit of time,kinda set it aside,and forget about it...
That way,by the end of the year,I'll have a few days to myself.
I received a little bit of the whole lot in my father's will...
About an acre or so was all it was.
When people say that all rice is the same, that's a little bit
What do you call it when you accidentally take a little bit of someone else’s drink you really wanted
Jokes about candy make me laugh a little bit.
What do you call eating only a little bit of someone at a time?
What do you call cooking Barack Obama just a little bit?
Look, Simba. Everything the little fluffy bits touch is our kingdom.
You could say that the situation with Russia is getting a little bit...
Got my wife with this a little bit ago
Me: oh, I must not have been listening to you
Her: ya, I'm not surprised
Me: what?
Her: ya, I'm not surprised
Me: what?
Her: I said yes, I'm not surprised
Me: what?
Her: looks at me, and I grin back Do you WANT to sleep on the couch?!?!
So, this is a little bit unoriginal but it's my first own dadjoke that I came up with on the spot, so I was proud to know I might hone my skills in the future to be a great/horrible dad.
Friend: Text me when you have time.
Me: When you have time.
Friend: ...
A little bit of a mathy joke
I was in a stats course and we were doing some regression. To estimate the parameters, we need to square a bunch of differences and add them up. This is called the "Sum of Squares," so I leaned over to my friend and asked "Why not all of them?"
Fortunately my friends are needs, too.
Dads can be a little bit morbid sometimes.
So while my dad was getting the mail he noticed the neighbor's Halloween decorations on their mailbox. The neighbors had strung these little plastic skeletons on top of it. Upon coming inside he said,
"The neighbors have these little human skeletons on their mailbox. Do you think we should put a mouse skeleton from the attic on ours?"
Happy Halloween.
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