Doctor: Thank you. It is very organ-ized.
Paddy O’furniture
Its called saxon faction.
It's Dublin every day!
Paddy O'Furniture.
That was the punchline
Now what’s left is Yellow Pages
It was the list I could do
Because it keeps Dublin and Dublin in size.
And the guy says “how many tattoos I have now”
Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, Dee, Rena, Joel, Lora, Cecil, Aaron, Flora, Tina, Arden, Noel, and Ellen.
Obviously a sham rock.
🍺 Beer is more nutritious than other alcoholic drinks.
🍺 Beer can help protect your heart.
🍺 Beer helps prevent kidney stones.
🍺 Beer lowers bad cholesterol.
🍺 Beer strengthens your bones.
🍺 Beer helps reduce stress.
🍺 Beer may help improve memory.
🍺 Beer helps cognitive function.
Because they were in the living room.
Because after the revolutionary war, the freed United States told Britain defiantly, "We're getting rid of you".
Now I can't even read the thing!
Got any tips you can share?
"The big bad wolf!" a goat shouted. "Is meditating!"
"So? Isn't that a good thing? questioned the bear.
"Noooo!" the goat bleated. "It's become aware wolf!"
ANNforgivable, ANNother One, bANNed, ANNdroid, ANNticlimactic, ANNbelievable, ANNemployment, ANNcharted, ANNgry, ANNlucky, ANNseen, ANNalyze, ANNadvised, ANNafraid, ANNaided, ANNapologetic, United NatANNs, AmericANN, CanadiANN, IndiANN, JamaicANN, BritANN, JapANN, AsiANN, HumANN, ANNoying, DirectANN, ProductANN, DestructANN, RegeneratANN, AcceleratANN, AbsorptANN, AccommodatANN, AccumulatANN ActANN, additANN, SubscriptANN, SubtractANN, MultiplicatANN, DivisANN, EducatANN, AssumptANN, AppreciatANN, ANNything.
The bartender asks what they'd like.
The executive of Miller orders a Miller Lite, so the bartender gives it to him. The executive of Bud orders a Bud Light, and he's given one. The bartender looks at the CEO of Guinness, and he asks for a Coke. The bartender, bewildered, hands him the Coke and asks why he didn't order a Guinness. In reply, he said,
"I figured if those two weren't drinking beer, then neither would I!"
The other one says “I’m a huge metal fan”
Icy dead people
I told her to…be patient.
I’m a new dad of a five-month old baby and I was quite proud of this moment.
But I’m not Inuit
The second turbine said:"I'm a giant metal fan"
Easily my favorite day of the year.
Little did they know he was a dic-tater
Needless to say, it was a cat ass trophy.
Incidentally, Free Masons are not what they sound like.
I heard they wanted to grow mold together
"Sorry about her. Her specialty is also roofing."
Blank stares. My talents are so wasted without kids.
...it was a bit of an anticlimax.
It was a missteak
I’m 6ft 2” how big are the others?
"What did they look like?" I asked
He said, "$100 bills."
and upon telling our daughter this morning she asked is that a prequel to “The Hole”. It gets better … my wife then says “that was a dad joke” and she says “no it was a good joke”
Quiet Lee
He said, “Wow, that’s the worst case of parking son’s disease I’ve ever seen.”
Without missing a beat he asks "Daddy, do you know how much room you need to grow Fungi like that?"
I did not know.
So he tells me "as Mushroom as possible!"
So proud.
It's the principal that counts.
I call him Dr. Awkward.
Because Lisa Kudrow.
But No pun in ten did.
grow a pear
