Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, Dee, Rena, Joel, Lora, Cecil, Aaron, Flora, Tina, Arden, Noel, and Ellen.
ANNforgivable, ANNother One, bANNed, ANNdroid, ANNticlimactic, ANNbelievable, ANNemployment, ANNcharted, ANNgry, ANNlucky, ANNseen, ANNalyze, ANNadvised, ANNafraid, ANNaided, ANNapologetic, United NatANNs, AmericANN, CanadiANN, IndiANN, JamaicANN, BritANN, JapANN, AsiANN, HumANN, ANNoying, DirectANN, ProductANN, DestructANN, RegeneratANN, AcceleratANN, AbsorptANN, AccommodatANN, AccumulatANN ActANN, additANN, SubscriptANN, SubtractANN, MultiplicatANN, DivisANN, EducatANN, AssumptANN, AppreciatANN, ANNything.
But you have to prove your jokes can land.
...It was Kief or Southernland
Now whatโs left is Yellow Pages
It was the list I could do
Doctor: Thank you. It is very organ-ized.
It was cancelled because it was the 60s and Americans werenโt yet ready to have a gay old time.
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- absoutely briliant
Tony Soprano: So your father tells me youโre taking up Astronomy in college.
Kevin Bonpensiero: No, business.
Tony Soprano: Well how come he keeps saying youโre taking up space in school?
๐บ Beer is more nutritious than other alcoholic drinks.
๐บ Beer can help protect your heart.
๐บ Beer helps prevent kidney stones.
๐บ Beer lowers bad cholesterol.
๐บ Beer strengthens your bones.
๐บ Beer helps reduce stress.
๐บ Beer may help improve memory.
๐บ Beer helps cognitive function.
Number 3 will shock you
One, ein, un, bat, ekab, moja, wahed, odin, yski
A giant list of puns
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itโs a little fishy.
Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itโs tearable.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.
How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.
I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.
My cat was just sick on the carpet, I donโt think itโs feline well.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.
How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.
What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.
Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
Thereโs a new type of broom out, itโs sweeping the nation.
What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.
What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.
Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.
Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.
How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.
The shovel was a ground breaking invention.
A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.
What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.
I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.
What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.
I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.
Towels canโt tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.
Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"
Do you know sign language? You should learn it, itโs pretty handy.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.
Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.
A cross eyed teacher couldnโt control his pupils.
After the accident, the juggler didnโt have the balls to do it.
I used to be afraid of hu
... keep reading on reddit โกAnd the guy says โhow many tattoos I have nowโ
The final challenge is a real showstopper.
I want to know if I'm living next to a registered sax offender.
Because it hasnโt been my day, my week, my month or even my year
But No pun in ten did.
-
great
-
great
-
great
-
great
-
great
-
great
-
great
-
great
-
great
-
An absolute cracker
I guess you could say the steaks were high
"in vivo lost vagus"
Ok so, I've been looking high and low for a list of punny- wordplay like nicknames. All I can find are
Jakey-Snakey
Andrew-my-mandrew
or names that just have '-enator' added to them?
If anyone has some fun nicknames please share!
I thought to myself, "Boy this looks like a real recipe for disaster!"
I call it the flip charts.
Me: โChamorro? Itโs Chursday.โ
His cause of death was listed as a sewer slide.
So far for States I have: Catifornia North and South Catolina Oklahomeow Oregato Furorida Mew York, Jersey, Hampshire, Mexico Connectikitty โ
For cities I have: Mew York Kitty Felinedelphia San Digato Mewmphis Chigato San Furanciso Indianapawlis Clawmbusโ
I told her there's no way we could do all that in 30 seconds.
But mine is a little pail into comparison.
Lettuce know if you have any
He was named Justin Case.
Doc: Wow, it's very organized ;)
Did you hear about the magician who grabbed Eminem so hard his SnapBack fell off?
He pulled a rabbit out of his hat
What do you call a magician who is an administrator at a college, but nobody knows what students he is in charge of?
Whose deanโs he?
A magician went out to the store and bought a big metal structure so he could hang upside down and do situps. He also loved painting, but because of his style he often knocked the canvas around while dabbing on the paint. So he bought another, wooden structure, like an easel, but with clamps to hold the painting in place while he prodded it with the paintbrush. His wife asked, as he brought them in, what the hell he had just bought. He replied:
โAb rack and dab rackโ
What do you call a magician with very skinny fingers?
Slight of hand
The magicianโs wife brought him to the store to buy gifts for a birthday party. She picked out a lovely candle, but wanted to include a nice note. The magician knew just what to do. He brought her down an aisle, found a section marked โbirthday,โ and said:
โPick a card, any cardโ
The Russian magician, in 1932, found an amazing new piece for his act: a giant, wooden sarcophagus in the shape of a beautiful woman. The piece had giant, metal blades inside at waist level. They were locked in place while it was open, but retracted as it closed, making it seem as though the magician had escaped death. But one day, while he was practicing, the great sarcophagus fell over - door still open - right on the magician. When he was found, he was cut right in two. Moral of the story:
In Soviet Russia, box woman saws you.
Okay thatโs it. Iโm so sorry, I have nothing better to do.
It's a legend.
Spoiler alert
The date you wrote the bucket list.
...It was Kief or Southernland.
- My
- Favorite
- Dad
- Jokes
"Yell for help!" wasn't one of them.
Now heโs high on the list of people I never want to talk to again.
Mine is just a little pail in comparison.
