A tattoo artist has a guy come in and get a new mark on an expanding list of hash marks. After a few sessions the tattoo artist asks β€œWhat are you counting?”

And the guy says β€œhow many tattoos I have now”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deepsea333
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report
I have a list of friends who love palindromes!

Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, Dee, Rena, Joel, Lora, Cecil, Aaron, Flora, Tina, Arden, Noel, and Ellen.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
🚨︎ report
I was reading the history of the French Revolution, and just found out what happened to Louis XVI β€˜s head.

[removed]

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
🚨︎ report
During the French Revolution thousands of people met their end with the blade of the guillotine, including King Louis XVI

He should have quit while he was a head

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LordCinko
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
🚨︎ report
Man goes to his psychiatrist and says, "I keep thinking I'm a French pair of shoes."

Psychiatrist says, "What makes you chasseur?"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
🚨︎ report
I know a family of Artists but I am not sure how they make so much Money

Very Sketchy People

πŸ‘︎ 426
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πŸ‘€︎ u/omarsrstt
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Nurse: Here is the list of heart, liver and kidney donors arranged in alphabetical order.

Doctor: Thank you. It is very organ-ized.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VeryLastBison
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
🚨︎ report
I commissioned an artist to make me a set of letters of the alphabet out of cast iron.

I received A, B, C, D, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z.

I'm missing the iron E.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tratemusic
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
🚨︎ report
My collection of irreplaceable French movies was stolen.

C'est la D vie D

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrgraff
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
🚨︎ report
The french revolution was kind of a pain in the neck, but once it was over it was a weight off of some people's shoulders
πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
🚨︎ report
What can you say about a HIP-HOP ARTIST that performs the music of TODAY?

Santa Claus really likes him because he’s RAPPING the PRESENT.

(That joke was 2 punny)

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SlickHeadSinger
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
🚨︎ report
Who's the best friend of a french mechanic?

Alain Qui

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the German soldier say to the French soldier at the end of WWI?

Verdun.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VaiterZen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
🚨︎ report
Nathan W. Pyle is one of my favorite artists.
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brute1100
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
🚨︎ report
In the French Court of Louis XIV, going to the bathroom happened all over the place, but loud farting was really stigmatized. So people experiencing gas had to rush to a specifically appointed room called the...

Toot Suite

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xrayhearing
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
🚨︎ report
The benefits of beer listed in bullet pints:

🍺 Beer is more nutritious than other alcoholic drinks.

🍺 Beer can help protect your heart.

🍺 Beer helps prevent kidney stones.

🍺 Beer lowers bad cholesterol.

🍺 Beer strengthens your bones.

🍺 Beer helps reduce stress.

🍺 Beer may help improve memory.

🍺 Beer helps cognitive function.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
🚨︎ report
I've just made a list of the top 10 dad jokes I know. The first 9 are alright but the last one is absoutely briliant.
  1. alright
  2. alright
  3. alright
  4. alright
  5. alright
  6. alright
  7. alright
  8. alright
  9. alright
  10. absoutely briliant
πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Skycam3014
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
Paint me like one of your French ghouls
πŸ‘︎ 581
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/titzmcgeee_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a scandal concerning a rich engineer where the list of accusations only gets longer and longer over time?

Elongate

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thatyougoon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Dead Cells - Opinions on my (French) Graphic Artist's sense of humour please.
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/motionTwin
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2014
🚨︎ report
When you're at the urinals, it doesn't matter of you're French, German, Spanish or Swedish

European

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
A baker in my town accidentally fell inside a truck full of French bread.

He is in a lot of pain.

πŸ‘︎ 126
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Of course, french fries are far too posh for us, we only do chips!
πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I’ve been enjoying the work of some of my favorite graphic artists on my commute to work...

But for some reason, whenever I bring out MC Escher’s art, I get weird stairs.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AquamarineCheetah
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I've come up with a list of the top 10 types of specialized chairs

Number 3 will shock you

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LinkRar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
We must create artistic compositions made of various materials glued on a surface for my Art 419 class project...

I guess I'll give it the old collage try.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Top Dad Jokes list, some of the best ones:

One, ein, un, bat, ekab, moja, wahed, odin, yski

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ice-_-Bear
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a list of puns/bad jokes for every U.S. President reddit.com/gallery/jw48pr
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ThackerOpinions
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My rooster is an artist. He draws on plates and I add arms and numbers, but for the life of me I can’t tell if he’s drawing snakes, mountains, teepee’s, etc., so I finally asked him and he said:

Clock’s a doodled doo.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/StretchSmiley
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Bad saxophone players should be put on some kind of public list.

I want to know if I'm living next to a registered sax offender.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iambaney
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine was in the band mood but I had a list of 10 puns to try to cheer him up.

But No pun in ten did.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MasterDragonIron
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
How do the French send photos of cats to each other?

They use Snapchat

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DubcekD
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a Korean martial artist holding out a basket of donuts. When I asked to take 2, he said no.

I replied β€œcan I at least Taekwondo?”

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/forkingbread
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend the artist made sketches of people worshiping gods and idols...

He drew praise for his artwork.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
In Need of Pun Artists

Dear Reddit Community,

I need a pun that includes the word senator for my upcoming student election. I figure the wit of 382K people can't fail me. Thank you for your service. Owl miss you.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GuyManGuy24
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Help! I started arranging them by artist but that wasn’t right. Then by title, but that wasn’t right either. Nor by colour. Nor alphabetically by first track title. Finally, I arranged them by number of tracks, but I just couldn’t get them in the right order. So I got rid of them all. Do I have 0CD?
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jjoojjoojj
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do con artists never run out of lollipops?

Because there's a sucker born every minute.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dave7243
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
A man in a drug trial died from a complication which dissolved his pneumogastric nerve, the coroner listed the cause of death as...

"in vivo lost vagus"

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I just made a list of my top 10 favourite Dad jokes. The first 9 are great but the last one is an absolute cracker
  1. great

  2. great

  3. great

  4. great

  5. great

  6. great

  7. great

  8. great

  9. great

  10. An absolute cracker

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I joined the French Submarine Corps to learn how to deal with the loss of a loved one.

They taught me periscoping techniques.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HouseofKannan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What was the name of the janitor at the French marine biology school?

Jacques Custodian

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bridgeonjames
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
🚨︎ report
A lot of people like French dressing, but my favorite salad dressing is Irish

Balsa McVinegar

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/david622
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I was reading the history of the French Revolution, and just found out what happened to Louis XVI β€˜s head.

[removed]

πŸ‘︎ 30k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a pair of tropical birds do a French dance?

A two-toucan can-can!

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/huuhhhh
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
🚨︎ report

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