Lenin Drizzle Cake
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👤︎ u/DeadYen
📅︎ Jul 08 2020
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I broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years because I found out she was a communist.

I should have known, there were red flags everywhere.

👍︎ 22k
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👤︎ u/JBiff09
📅︎ Aug 07 2020
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What did Lenin hate the most?

Tsarcasm

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📅︎ Dec 02 2019
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I found this in the Lenin-museum in Tampere
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📅︎ Jan 03 2019
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Why are communists good at archery?

They are real Marx-men

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👤︎ u/wspoons5
📅︎ Jul 01 2020
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"If Russia's gonna be communist, then Soviet" -Lenin probably
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👤︎ u/halagabir
📅︎ Aug 06 2017
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What do you call a meeting for Lenin and Stalin enthusiasts?

a commie-con

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📅︎ May 01 2017
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When life gives you Lenins...

distribute them evenly among the people.

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📅︎ Jun 02 2013
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We should have known communism wouldn't work...

There were lots of red flags

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📅︎ Aug 12 2020
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Where do you keep your copy of the Communist Manifesto?

The Lenin closet

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👤︎ u/mbhammock
📅︎ Jul 26 2020
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Why are American towels communist?

They’re kept in the Lenin closet.

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👤︎ u/bug-hunter
📅︎ May 23 2020
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TIL: In ancient times, a group of Native Americans tried to cross into Russia from Alaska, but failed.

They just couldn’t get their Bering Strait.

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📅︎ Aug 12 2018
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What's a Russian's favorite cloth?

Lenin

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👤︎ u/op3880
📅︎ May 09 2019
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Why did Stalin only write in lowercase?

Because he hated capitalism.

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📅︎ Jan 05 2018
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I should open a Russian grocery store and call it "Putin food on the table"
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👤︎ u/Keytard
📅︎ Dec 15 2014
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Why does Russia get no work done

Because they’re Stalin

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👤︎ u/acewilson3
📅︎ May 17 2018
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Why do Russia not grow any cotton?

Because they already have Lenin.

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👤︎ u/DxrkBloo
📅︎ Apr 15 2018
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I was advised to post these here. I apologize in advance.

What did members of the Politburo wear to keep cool in the summer?

A: Lenin suits

What did the Soviet General Secretary say when he slipped and fell on ice in front of the Kremlin?

A: That'll leave a Marx!

What did the Commissar say to the workers on the collective farm when they slacked off?

A: Stop Stalin and get to work!

What did the Chinese President say when he stubbed his toe?

A: Mao! That hurts!

An officer in the Iranian army is talking to a subordinate.

The officer says, "Private, I think it's gonna rain."

The private says, "You think so, sir? The sky is completely clear and the sun is shining."

20 minutes later it starts to rain, a total deluge ensues.

The private says, "That was an amazing prediction, sir!. It did rain!"

The officer looks at the private, pats him on the shoulder and says, "Private, Ayatollah you so."

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📅︎ Nov 21 2018
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What type of cloth does the Soviet Union use

Lenin

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👤︎ u/Emoti723
📅︎ Jul 19 2018
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Please help me with Puns related to Russian Leaders (and Roller Derby)

I am working on a set of signs for a roller derby bout. the team theme is russian army and I am trying to make propaganda like signs for each of the big russian leaders from the past.

I have:

Quit Stalin, Bring on the Derby

Putin on the Hits

Looking for some for:

-Vladimir Lenin

-Leonid Brezhnev

-Nikita Khrushchev

-Mikhail Gorbachev

Anyone got anything?

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👤︎ u/jimdier
📅︎ Feb 12 2014
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Why should you never buy a car from the Soviet Union?

They keep Lenin to the left and Stalin. They also exclusively paint in red.

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👤︎ u/BadassNyan
📅︎ Dec 07 2016
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The roles were reversed this time...

My dad has been growing a moustache for Movember, and I commented on it.

Me: You know, you should grow a Lenin beard; it'd suit you.

Him: Really?

Me: Yeah, you could cosplay as Lenin and go to conventions! Hey, you could go to CommieCon! [satisfied grin]

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👤︎ u/Jec178
📅︎ Nov 03 2013
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