I'm just going to leave it here
I came out to my Car this morning, and it was completely covered in fallen leaves..
..you could call it an Autumnobile now !
Leave it to men to procrastinate...
3 days later, and still waiting on male ballots.
What do people who like to annoy grammar snobs call it when you leave the Great Lakes unprotected?
My son asked me what it’s like to be married so I told him to leave me.
When he did, I asked why he was ignoring me.
It's soon autumn - you can tell, because summer leaves
... I'll be here all seasons...
What's it gonna leave, Ethan? HUH? Say it. I DARE you.
What is it called when a bunch of people in face coverings leave a building?
My Grandma was talking about the good old days and said “in my day we could leave the door unlocked and not worry about it!” and “we grew up with nothing but we were happy”...
I replied “Well Grandma, I hate to break it to you, but you grew up with nothing because you kept leaving the door unlocked!”
My girlfriend said she might leave me because I didn't give her sufficient First-Aid assistance when she needed it.
Well, I wouldn't put it plaster
Why didn't the redneck leave the yoga class when it was over?
On his way out he said "see you next week". The instructor responded "namaste" , and the redneck said "Oh. Then I'm-a-stayin too".
My christmas plant has lost it's leaves,
now it's a disapointsettia.
"Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, 'No, just leave it in the carton!'"
What do two people have when they both like to boil leaves in water, add milk, and put it into the freezer?
To reddit, I leave my only Mentos candy with a frog on it.
What do you call it when your wife leaves you for a past lover?
If you accidentally leave some cash in your clothing and it goes through the washing machine,
Wouldn't that be 'money laundering'?
What did the Mexican cat say when it had to leave?
If you leave a pear out too long does it turn into a parrot?
Just randomly thought of this, hope it's good and at least moderately original (ik there's a lot of pear puns in general)
[Interview] “It says here on your resume that you used to be in the theatre. What made you leave?”
“Well, the movie ended, so...”
My wife walked into our bedroom while I was napping and yelled "It's time to leave, get up!"
I said "Sssshh! These are my sleeping quarters" and pointed to some change I had on the bedside table. She was stunned, then she groaned and walked out.
What kind of tea has eucalyptus leaves in it?
What is it called if buccaneers leave a 3.14 score on TripAdvisor?
What is it called when a dog leaves a vehicle?
What do you say to a C atom that leaves its molecular bond?
How did the tree feel when its leaves grew back?
Re-leaved
(I was told this is better for this sub than r/jokes)
What is it called when you leave an idiot on an island?
What’s it called when a Communist goes to work, puts in 8 hours, and then leaves?
What’s it called when Batman leave church early?
Whenever it rained in Bel-Air, the Fresh Prince would leave fresh prints.
I did yoga the other day, it was so much fun when the instructor told us to leave..
Every year on New Year's Eve, when everyone's counting down the final 10 seconds to ring in the new year, I get up off the couch and stand up. I stand up and raise my left leg and just leave it raised for a little while until the countdown finishes and midnight strikes
that way I always start the new year off on the right foot
What do you call it when you go to Target and leave without buying anything?
You wouldn’t beelieve leave it
A cowboy rides into town on Friday. Stays three days and leaves on Friday. How did he do it?
The horse’s name is Friday.
I've decided just to leave my hair alone and let it do what it wants.
I've adopted a laissez-haire policy.
If there is beef between people im gonna leave it a loin
Daughter leaves her imgur account signed on. Dad finds it and the dadjokes ensue.
http://imgur.com/gallery/hAwRk5u
What do you call it when a french philosipher/mathematician leaves the room?
If you leave a grape out in the hot sun, it will shrivel and dry up.
I went out to my car this morning, and it was completely covered in fallen leaves..
..you could call it an Autumnobile now !
"Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, 'No, just leave it in the carton!'"
Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, "No, just leave it in the carton!"
What do you call it when Batman leaves church early?
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