Labia stretching Puns

I thought this was interesting due to the similarity of results and effects from tissue and nerve growth in restoring and these women who use labia elongation techniques to achieve greater sexual pleasure and aesthetic look. Has anyone heard about labia elongation and have thoughts on the parallels to foreskin restoration?

How Do You Stretch Your Inner Labias to make them longer? I have pierced them in order to use weights, but I cannot find any info on how much weight to use, or how long time-wise to wear the weights, or even how often to use them. Any help would be appreciated

Not long ago I was reading on here that a few guys mentioned that their labia stretched/moved around and was painful once they had reached a certain amount of growth. In a dramatic way- like all of the sudden things became a little dislodged? And is there a word for this, if it's real?

> Hey, before you post, how about checking out our FAQ?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ftm/wiki/index

It's got tons of info on "Am I trans?", coming out, passing, testosterone, surgery, legal and country-specific issues, and more.

> New reddit account? Image/video/link post?

Your post may get caught in our spam filter and not show up on the main page. Message the mods if you think this has happened.

I’m posting mostly out of curiosity because I have a lot of non traditional mods. I have had stretched inner labia for 14 years and I have struggled to find any other women like me.

Now I know that sex doesn't change your vagina and large labia are certainly no sign of promiscuity, however for the people who do believe in the whole "vaginal milage" being shown with larger labia, why would it stretch it out but lots of sex wouldn't make your foreskin loose and baggy too? The skin on the outside isn't really involved in sex so why would that be changed but the skin on the actual penis would remain the same? That's being stretched and pulled around all the time. I can kind of understand the logic behind the idea of the hole itself getting stretched out (though it can fit a baby but your penis is affecting it??? Ok...) But I don't get why you'd think the labia would change?

so i have a hanging labia. when i was younger i definetly didnt! but i started puberty very early and i think when i was younger i pulled on them a lot out of curiosity. i even remember my mother being rlly concerned for me when i was like 11? and taking me to the doctor, who, ofc, told me its fine.

im a virgin but will be going into college in the fall and ive been having more issues about my body than usual, probs bc i assume ill have sex in the next yr or so. ik all vaginas and labias are beautiful blah blah but im also scared that they will stretch if i ever have sex (like...oral?)

can this happen? id imagine it would happen when ur younger and still developing but id like it if it didnt happen to me now. i dont touch my labia ever bc im scared itll stretch, which i 90% feel like it will if i tugged on it. a lot. is there a way to prevent this?

Why YSK: Both male and female genitals have areas that need to be cleaned and areas that need to be left largely alone. Not cleaning can cause issues, infections, and smelly buildups. Cleaning too much, or in areas best left alone, can also cause issues and infections, and a bunch of other problems besides. Plus, your sexual partners will thank you for the proper care and hygiene.

Men, or people with a penis: If you're circumcised; wash your penis and testicles gently with a mild soap. Stay out of the urethra, especially with soap. Make sure you get into any skin folds where yeast and bacteria can build up. Please wash your balls, especially if you have anyone who hangs out down there sometimes. They get smelly, even if you don't notice. Generally though, you have the "ez clean" version of genitals.

If you're intact: same as above (and wash your balls!), only be sure to gently retract your foreskin and clean under and behind the ridge along your glans/head of penis. If you're through puberty and retracting your foreskin is difficult or painful, see a doctor about it, but keep trying to gently retract the foreskin and to clean out any buildup behind. Gentle retraction will usually eventually help loosen the foreskin and allow you to clean behind the glans.

If you're not through puberty, then you can try and start gently retracting your foreskin, but do not force it (and don't let any adults/doctors forcibly retract it either!). As you progress towards puberty, the foreskin will slowly separate from the glans of your penis. Forcibly retracting your foreskin can cause tears on the glans and in the skin. Until the foreskin and the glans have separated, buildup and bacteria can not get in behind (at least not to the same degree as they can after puberty). Cleaning gently with soap while trying to gently retract your foreskin as much as you comfortably can will allow you to clean it well enough while also gently stretching the foreskin.

Phimosis (the inability to fully retract the foreskin) is a thing that happens more than guys might realize and can lead to issues like a buildup of smegma under the foreskin and behind the glans, which can smell really bad. Or infections, such as balanitis (yep, that's the actual name) that can cause pain, swelling and discharge. Phimosis is common and easily treated, usually with a topical cream prescribed by your doctor, rarely with a minor surgical procedure, even more rarely with circumcision.

Women, or people wi

By far, of all things , I will never understand why circumcision is normal in the USA. Everywhere else 80% (+) of the population is in fact Uncircumcised and have remained true to Humane Body Rights.

I’m writing this on behalf of the circumcised men who I have personally spoken with over the internet and have felt permanently ‘betrayed’ to an extent of what they told me amongst many things they’ve felt. From me being contacted by them on this page, or seeing their comments I’ve reached out upon.

Whenever there’s an issue either foreskin like phimosis in the USA, they say “Circumcise him”

• Circumcision only protects the body of HIV and STD’s by 1-2% which is so minimal fraction to nothing -

But anywhere else? They say ‘Here’s Treatment for that’ , steroid creams for exponential skin growth, manual stretching services with devices, why ?

Because they (Other Countries) know the function of it Foreskin acts like an Eye Lid over the eye ,

so when the genital is not in use, it is protected of its nerve endings and proper PH balance of the glands to ensure proper functionality let alone ‘Hydrated.’

It’s rather disappointing how little to far gone the system is, for doctors to make money off these things?

I won’t be attacking on this one but to know that The USA and Africa are the only Mass geographical accounted places for circumcision is quite sad, considering that Africa has Little Scientific or High Industrial Education in places are doing the same rate as the USA that has so much money with such small system for being educated..

Here are some sad Falsified Facts about Early Day Circumcision for “Promotion”:

Did you know amputated foreskins are sold to cosmetic companies for $100,000, or that circumcision was alleged to cure brain tumors? It also has a history of megalomania doctors believed it would cure black men of their predisposition to be rapists, and the more children they circumcised, the higher they'd ascend to god.

Most parents circumcise their sons without giving it a second thought. They have no clue what the risks are because-doctors never offer "informed consent - the legal obligation to educate patients on the risks and alleged benefits of any procedure so they understand what's being asked of them.

And now real facts:

• Circumcision reduces penis sensitivity and causes erectile dysfunction.

• Circumcision can result in amputation, disfigurement, or death.

• Your newborn son will be given an erection to facilitate the proc

Hi lovely vagina-bearing people, I want to share my positive story with you to hopefully give you some hope and some tips which might help you fix your vaginismus faster than I did.

• Background: virgin until 34, first kiss was at 20, then didn't kiss another guy (or do anything else) until 34. Had never used a tampon until I was 34 either.

• How it began: one day I randomly decided I'd try using a tampon for my period. It had nothing to do with sex, I just wanted to see if I could use tampons because pads were getting annoying. I had to try 5 different times before I could get it in without being able to feel it. The first time I got it in, it was a bitch to take out (the vaginal entrance stung like it was on fire). I thought it was just because I was on my period and that area was sensitive. At this point I didn't think I had vaginismus because "I can get a tampon in so I must not have it".

• Starting to explore: then I thought, "Well, I can get a tampon in. I guess I can also start thinking about sex." But I didn't want my first time with penetration to be with another person, I like to be prepared going in. Plus, I was afraid they'd be able to tell I was a virgin and I didn't want that (not that there's anything wrong with that but I was self-conscious). So, I went to /r/sextoys, read a bunch of stuff, and bought my first dildo (just over 1" width) and some lube, and giggled to myself like a schoolgirl when it arrived because I felt so sneaky even though I'm a full-grown adult. Couldn't get it in. Tried maybe 3 times and used a bunch of lube. Eventually could get it in when fully aroused. Continued to think, "Okay well at least I don't have vaginismus."

• Realizing there's an issue: after about a week of me thinking, "Hurray I got the dildo in, I'm ready for sex!", I looked up the average size of a penis. Oh. My dildo is tiny in comparison. Okay no problem, I went and bought a dildo that was the size of an average penis. And holy shit, it looked like a fucking monster. My vag clenched up just looking at it. Tried to get it in, couldn't even get the tip in without extreme stinging at the entrance.

• Time to get a medical check: okay no problem, maybe I have an infection and that's why it's painful. I'll just book an appointment with my doctor. Oh, hello covid, no in-person appointments available until months from now. Great. Now what?

• Google is useless: so I went onto google and starting searching. But, as I'm sure you a

Not really looking for advice, just need to vent. I mean, if you want to tell me about your own journey of post operative pain, I'm always looking for light at the end of this tunnel.

It's been 5 months this week since I had grs. I got that vagina I always wanted, even if it doesn't look quite like the vagina i had in mind (labiaplasty in april to add labia minora and improve aestetics). There has been a LOT of pain in the time that followed the surgery. Like holy shit, I've never known such agony.

For a while, I has having trouble dilating. The #3 of the clears was a constant struggle. This OBGYN in my local area that's actually willing to see trans patients (that's another rant for another day) prescribed to me antibiotics on the off chance I had an infection that was making my pain real bad. While i was taking the antibiotics things got really good for a change.

My average pain really declined, and I wasn't just comfortable with the #3 dilator, I was able to move up to the #4 for the very first time! I could walk normally, and things seemed to actually improve!

Then I finished the antibiotics. Or I was scheduled to move down a dilation-a-day. Or I had a particularly bad run of silver nitrate on a patch of granulation tissue just inside my vagina- whatever it was that did it, life has been absolute HELL ever since.

My pain has spiked. I'm back to walking like the hunch back of Notre dame. My pussy has slammed shut and will only go as high as #2 dilators- in just a few days I went from a #4 being achievable to the #2 barely fitting. I've missed so much work because of this that I fear losing my job. None of the local (read: not my surgeon) doctors office are even willing to help because they don't have any or enough expertise with trans patients.

The other day I couldn't fit the #2 in me and I spent the next hour re-lubing and trying to fit it inside of me. I was in so much pain, and all through tears the entire time. I tell the surgeons office that I can't dilate once, and they berate me telling me I should never miss a dilation- so I'm trying my damndest to get it in and it won't. For the first time since the first two weeks of having a vagina I have to use the #1 dilator to dilate.

I can categorize a few different sources of pain.

The first, getting a dilator in. My surgeon told me that repeated dilations creates muscle trauma in an area not used to being pushed apart. Then there's little tears that sting. Then there's granulation tis

I realize the title is funny, but this is an honest question. I'm awaiting a surgical consult which likely won't happen for a year. In the mean time, wondering if there's anything I can do that would allow me to get larger testicular implants. One of my big priorities is having balls, ideally quite large ones. I know this will make my dick look smaller - that's not a problem.

So is it a matter of stretching out the skin? I've seen results in person from the surgeon I'll be seeing, and he does something very similar to Dr Crane where he forms the labia majora into a scrotum by cutting/folding. By this I mean that he doesn't simply install the implants into the majora like some surgeons do. Because if this, the scrotum "hangs" lower.

Anyway, just wondering if anyone has experience or info on larger testicular implants.

Thanks!

Can I rant for a sec? Yes? Thank you!

I get really tired of all the hate of vaginal delivery. Like how it stretches the puss, makes the flaps (can I vomit a bit? They're my LABIA) like roast beef (which is delicious, by the way, so why is that an insult) and how a woman is UNUSABLE afterwards.... Like, when my best friend nearly died in labour and got a terrifying c-section, which I then told my dad about, he said 'well the upside is that she's still tight, yo. Hurrdeedurr' SHE NEARLY DIED. ....and we're all here because we know this is all not true.

But you don't hear them about legitimate damage to the female body after birth. Maybe how women get more uGlY with sagging boobs (that provide free food) and softer bellies (lovely to touch) but the practical?

#MY ANUS IS DEAD, YO.

I cannot shit without pain or blood. She looks like a disaster. After the first, it was so bad I have had hemmorroidectomy done. Twice. And then I got another baby, and I'm back to needing another two done.

For reference: this procedure is so painful, it's considered retired and 'we don't do that any more' because 'cruelty against the anus' (very true) since the early nineties. I repeat: this procedure is EXTREMELY painful. I have walked on broken limbs - this is worse.

But I needed it. Twice. And I'll need it another two times, just to shit properly without blood and pain.

And yet when I talk about that, it's 'rude' and 'eeew' and 'ahahaha you're so unladylike' and I'm like no, the reason I have the problem is because I am womanly, and shat out two kids. Yet making jokes about a vagina is all FUNNY and WOKE and HAAHAHAHA IT JUST A JOKE.

I use my anus way more than my vagina. Yet I don't use it for men, so everybody is all worried about my pleasure entrance and it's state FOR SOMEBODY ELSES USE and my opening that I use on a semi-daily basis and hurts like a mofo is ....less important?

The world is fucked up and I really need to rant about how only our pleasure holes are seen as important. Sometimes I feel like that's all we are seen as. Vaginas on legs.

Okay, end rant. Thank you for listening. My soap box loves you.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

I've been thinking about getting meta since due to psoriasis getting a graft isn't exactly the best idea. I have very mild psoriasis, but I do occasionally get it on the areas one would get a graft from.

Size isn't a priority for me. Even if I'd get phallo I'd probably ask for a smaller size anyway. However I do want to look like I have something. Small is fine, just something that isn't hidden away.

I think my growth on T is about 3-4cm??? I could be a bit off. That's on the smaller end right? Not sure if that'd be enough growth.

Do your worst!

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

I'm not a great storyteller but I want to share my experience so far and try to keep it nice and simple.

I recently bought a Saalt small cup and as a first-time cup user, I wanted to try a dry run two weeks before I actually start. I thought that my perfect chance to try it out was right before I went to bed. I couldn't get it in at all and I think it was mostly due to the stance. I used the same position I use with tampons which is bend the knees a bit and legs shoulder width apart. After a couple of tries of not making it in with the c fold, I switched to the punched down, which I already couldn't really secure with one hand due to the stiffness of the cup. Welp, not letting it stop me from jamming it in me, I finally got the rim inside. Adding my fingers in was uncomfortable and I guess I was holding it to high, so I wanted to slide my fingers down the base in order to move the cup inside more. That's when I knew I failed. I SHOULD have had my other hand somewhat supporting the bottom of the cup while I maneuvered, but I didn't. I panicked when sliding my fingers down and it slipped causing the cup to open prematurely. It stung exactly like when I wax down there. I stopped for a few seconds thinking I probably stretched my hymen and then wanted to try one more time. This time I made it in farther, but I wanted to call it a night and pulled it out. Thats when I saw the blood.

I was on the brink of fainting and falling into my bathtub. I didn't know where the blood was coming from, but I could not handle it at that moment. With my vision fading and my ears ringing, I cleaned up as much as I could and put on a panty liner just in case. I rinsed the cup with water and left it there to deal with later. Looking in the mirror, I was so pale that I couldn't even tell where my acne was. After all that I was worried I wouldn't make it to my bed, so I took my deep breathed as I tried to just lay there. I was able to calm down a bit and tried to look up post of anything relating to menstrual cups tearing hymens, because that was what I thought happened.

The next morning, I tried to waste no time. I wasn't in pain, so I used the bathroom and checked on the panty liner. It was just stained, but it didn't look like new blood. I grabbed some first aid supplies and a mirror and wasted no time going into my room. I faced the window, lied down took off my underwear and spread my legs. Using the mirror all I saw was blood stains on the outside and a lot of discharge

BamBOO!

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

They’re on standbi

Context: I’m a 15 year old girl from Sweden.

I am kind of angry. Thanks to my school not giving us proper sex education before 8th grade, I have believed so many myths about my own body for so long. Looking back at it now, they all sound stupid, but they have caused actual anxiety about my body.

Here are some things that I thought were true before we got proper sex education:

• That masturbation stretched out the labia

• That women didn’t have a urethra, and pissed out of the vagina

• That sex stretched out the vagina

• That I was at risk for STDs for masturbating

• I was completely unaware what the fallopian tubes and ovaries were, and thought the uterus was higher up in the body, around where the ribs are

I don’t know a lot about the laws surrounding sex education in my country, but it feels a little wrong to not have been taught any of these things concerning my own body before 8th grade.

I don’t really know how to word my thoughts, but I’d be interested to hear your opinions concerning this.

A play on words.

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

How Do You Stretch Your Inner Labia? I have pierced them in order to use weights, but I cannot find any info on how much weight to use, or how long time-wise to wear the weights, or even how often to use them.