Did this painting for my friend (far right) who is a huge Pittsburgh steelers fan. His favorite player is Troy Polamalu... And he likes puns. That's me in the middle.l in my favorite jumper. Thoughts??? reddit.com/gallery/kkbp9y
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smike1981
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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A doctor was teaching a class, and wanted to give a pop quiz about tolerance and observance when dealing with the cadavers. (L) (On Mobile)

Teacher: β€œSo I want everyone to understand that a dead body isn’t disgusting, and we need to be able to handle it and always be observant at all times when dealing with one”

The teacher has everyone turn their body over

Teacher: β€œNow I want you all to stick your finger in it’s ass and hold it in there for a moment”

all of the students do as instructed, hesitant at first

Teacher: β€œOkay, now go ahead and pull your finger out and then put a finger in your mouth like I do”

The students getting a little disgusted by that request REALLY hesitated at first, but eventually they all did as he asked

As the teacher has all of his students with their finger in their mouth, he tells the class, β€œnow see it’s not disgusting if you did it right...if you put your index finger in the ass, and put your middle finger in your mouth like I did, you have just passed my class”.

With minimal observance, and a dead silent room...not one student passed the pop quiz

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wonkagloop
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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A lad asks his granny, "Have you seen my pills, they were labelled L.S.D.?"

Granny replied, "Never mind the pills. Have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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A, B, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, & Z are all racists.. How do I know?

Because they're all not 'C's.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedPlanetCorridor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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On my death bed I’l request to be moved to a tub full of pees just before I die so people can say β€˜may he rest in pees’
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AMswag123
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
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I went to get a haircut on Saturday but the line outside was huge when l got there.

Then the owner came out giving free burgers and hotdogs to everybody there.

It was the best barber queue ever!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Texgymratdad
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
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A (coo)l pun
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChonkyNugget
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
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Mike Tyson and I were talking about our friend Sarah who had just gotten into town. I asked, "so, how did she get from L.A. to here?" He replied...

"Theraflu."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DanGlerrBOY89
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
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A L L C A P S
πŸ‘︎ 815
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coadnamedalex
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2018
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Can I play World War Z without having played World War A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X and Y before? /r/ShouldIbuythisgame/com…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JonaSavage17
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
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When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/redwitch-fr
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
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Why is there a L in Noel if it is Noel?

*sorry if it's been posted before

πŸ‘︎ 388
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πŸ‘€︎ u/flambeauyt
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2018
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Hot L.A. girl nudes
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πŸ‘€︎ u/btnymeg
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
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s i l v e r w a r e
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elskeredit
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
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I once had to play a psychopath in a play. I thought I could come across as crazy if I huffed a l load of women's body spray before I got on stage.

But in hindsight, I was just acting on Impulse.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tattyead
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
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Just flew in from L.A!

Gosh, my arms are tired.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/koodallas
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
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A tap dancing career is one L away from a lap dancing career...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spruitt1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2018
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My Dad said, β€œl’ll never use a bidet...

... seems like a half-assed shower.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TRipley1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
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Today during a spelling test, asked a small human, β€œHow do you spell crocodile?” They said β€œK-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L”. I told them that was incorrect.

They responded, β€œMaybe I did, but you asked how I spell it.”

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
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I've been growing a beard for four months. At first I wasn't sure if l liked it.

But it's really grown on me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buyingbridges
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2018
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