Why did they band of vikings flee Ketill Flatnose and his whale? It seemed like all Ketill's family and supporters had been slain, and the remaining vikings outnumbered him. It seemed inexplicable to me that they would run to their boat and push off without provisions or their sunstone.
Irish Cycle Pages
Tuatha Dé Danann
>>> Long before man came to Ireland, a people descended like mist from the skies and settled here. The Tuatha dé Danann.
>>> Definite heroes these! Women and men of knowledge and delight. Makers of the ancient stones speckled throughout our island as well as the Lia Fáil itself, they lived a life of peace and wisdom inspiring the druids who were to come after.
Tara Hill and the Lia Fáil
>>> Located in Meath, the Hill of Tara is the ceremonial site of the High Kings of Ireland; where they are inaugurated and where they take their seat. The Hill itself has several circular enclosures, one of which contains the Lia Fáil, a standing stone known as the Stone of Destiny. According to legend, the stone would roar three times if the inaugurated king was indeed the rightful one.
Legend of the Morrigan
>>> The Morrigan can choose her shape, often appearing as a crow. In such a guise, she delights in soaring above the field of battle in search of mortal scrapes. I have seen this myself.
>>> Goddess of War and Death, Prophecy and Fate, she can be whatsoever she wishes, though mostly she is a woman, or sometimes three.
>>> She set herself against Cù Chulainn and intervened in a bloody battle he fought with Queen Medb. It was a single battle that lasted a full autumn. Cù Chulainn left the Morrigan lame, but she transformed into an old farm woman and tricked him into curing her. Such is the power of The Morrigan
Balor of the Fomorians
>>> The dead heat of a scorching sun was birthed in mud and misery.
>>> The bloody babe, son of Buarainech, was called Balor.
>>> Champion of the Fomorians, he!
>>> Balor bleats with spittled spite and leads his kin from the seething depths. The Fomorians, those of rock and rot, bringers of disease, despair, and death. Cavorting in chaos.
>>> Ever the foes of Tuatha Dé Danann.
>>> Cú Chulainn strikes deep in Balor’s back, leaving the wound to fester.
>>> Balor still stands, and fight he must, always the demon and jester.
A Telling of Cu Chulainn
>>> Never forget Cù Chulainn, son of Lugh, the Beast of Ulster, who fought off cowardly Connacht.
>>> Always remember the Táin Bó Cúailnge, when he singly fought Queen Medb’s army, monstrous and misshapen, through many a moon.
>>> And e’er beware the Gae
... keep reading on reddit ➡I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
Buenosdillas
They’re on standbi
Pilot on me!!
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
Nothing, he was gladiator.
I won't be doing that today!
[Removed]
You take away their little brooms
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
-
French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
-
Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
-
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Nothing, it just waved
Him: I can explain everything!
(It's his best joke yet I think)
Bob
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.
Just to clarify, 12345678
Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...
Notices there's only 2;
Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."
I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.
I was just sitting there doing nothing.
