Jurassic Parker.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesome_smokey
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
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What virus ended the Jurassic Period?

Dino-SARS

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πŸ‘€︎ u/clark_creationz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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How do you know when you've had a good Jurassic workout?

You're dyin' of sore

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jburn09
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
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Went for a run around Jurassic park

Next day I was Dino-sore

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πŸ‘€︎ u/frederik_engberg
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
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I was watching Jurassic park the other day...

and I thought to myself, "Not only does my son have a stupid name, but he's also a terrible driver."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
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"Jurassic Cop" youtu.be/eFlVq0LXnY8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dinodiaries88
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2018
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In light of Jurassic World...What happens when you punch a T-rex?

It becomes dino-sore.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wmccluskey
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2015
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Great dad joke while reading Jurassic Park

"Hey," she said, more brightly. "According to this book, 'the beaches of Cabo Blanco are frequented by a variety of wildlife, including howler and white-faced monkeys, three-toed sloths, and coatimundis.' You think we'll see a three-ted sloth, Dad?"

 "I bet we do."

"Really?"

 "Just look in the mirror."

"Very funny, Dad."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gpgpg
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2015
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What do you call an exploding dinosaur???

Dinomite

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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6 was scared of 7 because 7,8,9 but why did 7 eat 9?

Because you're supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyclopropagative
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
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What? You don't like geology?

Well, Upper Jurassic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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What do you call a blind dinosaur ?

Doyouthinkhesaurus

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
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What do you call a pig from the dinosaur age?

Jurassic pork.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IWaterboardKids
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
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Never fight dinosaurs..

You’ll get Jurasskicked

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ustydud
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
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What do you call a guy who makes to many dinosaur puns?

A Dino-bore

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Baseballmagic505
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
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Why shouldn’t you ever fight a dinosaur?

Because you’ll get Jurass kicked..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sweatybooty1983
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2018
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What do you call a surgeon that operates on dinosaur hearts?

A Cardio Jurassic Surgeon

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PieceMaker42
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
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Help me come up with a pun for work!!!

So I’m going to be in charge of a team for work and I need a punny team name involving one of the following words/phrases.

I want my team to be dinosaur/Jurassic Park themed and my company is called Caption Call.

I need to use something from the following list:

Caption Captioner Callers CA CAs Dictate

For example there’s another team called β€œCaption America”

The best I’ve come up with is β€œveloci-captioners” but it’s a reach...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DudleyTheDino
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
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What do you call a dinosaur themed put-put golf course?

Jurassic Par

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheNoodleEffect
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
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If all of the dinosaurs had had a wider vocabulary, maybe they would have survived.

Like the thesaurus did.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
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Stolen from Twitter v.redd.it/k9f35fnw5he11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/christoph__er
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2018
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Who was the best hip hop artist 65 million years ago?

Velocirapper

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DDuub
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2018
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I challenge you to think of a better pun for this photo i.reddituploads.com/e0f56…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/115_zombie_slayer
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2016
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Why did the velociraptor eat his friend?

Because Jurassic times call for Jurassic measures.

(First post here, how'd I do)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mellow_out_dude
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2017
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Did you hear about the pianist who was eaten by an allosaurus?

He was a Jurassically-claimed musician

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2018
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My daughter was chasing her Peppa Pig toys with her toy dinosaur.

I looked over to my wife and said β€œLook!”

β€œIt’s Jurassic Pork.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mcpux
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2018
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Was texting with my dad about going to the movies when I'm home.

Me: Jurassic World is also out that week on the 12th.

Dad: You can go with Mom to that one.

Me: You don't care about dinosaurs?

Dad: They're dead to me.

Me: Haha. I love you.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cmcavoy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2015
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"No, that's..."

My dad used to play a game with me and my brother that was, in effect, an extended dad joke.

The "beginner" version, when I was younger, was when I would be talking about something, my dad would intentionally misinterpret it so that we could correct him. The objective being to keep up the misinterpretation in as long of a chain as possible.

Me: "Dad! Top Gun is on TV!"

Dad: "Doesn't that movie have that whiny folk singer on the radio in it?"

Me: "...No, dad, that's Tom Petty, not Tom Cruise."

Dad: "Oh, I thought he was Rosanne Barr's husband?"

Me: "No, dad, that's Tom Arnold, not Tom Petty."

Dad: "Oh. I thought he was that golfer..."

Later, once I figured it out, we moved to "advanced mode", where we skip the "correction" and just prove that you catch the reference by making another error in response.

Dad: "Oh. I thought he was that golfer..." (Arnold Palmer)

Me: "...wait, I thought that was the victim in Twin Peaks?" (Laura Palmer)

Dad: "...no, you're thinking of the lady who was the actress in Jurassic Park." (Laura Dern)

And so on. Did anyone else's dad's do something like this? Or any current dads? I currently play a version of this with my wife where she'll put on the radio and I'll intentionally misinterpret the artist. (Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody is playing, I comment to the effect of "God, I love Styx. Such a great song.")

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2015
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Did you know that one of the saints from the New Testament had a pet dinosaur?

People started calling him Jurassic Mark.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mkaic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2018
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What do you get when you cross dinosaur DNA with Pig DNA?

Tyrana-ShortRibs Rex. It's a close relative of the VelSausage Raptor.

Basically all of them become Swine-o-saurs.

You can find them at Jurassic Pork.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NealSr
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2015
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Got a silent stare from my wife with this one

I grabbed some pulled pork out of the fridge to make a sandwich, and my wife says: "That's disgusting! That pork is over a week old"

I said: "I thought you loved Jurassic Pork"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jimmy__Thunder
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2016
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On a trip to Universal Studios

This was quite a while ago, I was probably in middle school (currently 26). My family took a quick day trip to Universal Studios Hollywood since we live in the greater LA area. Now to set the scene, my dad is a native of Mexico but has lived here since his late teens so his English is pretty good with a tinge of an accent since Spanish is his primary language. We park in the parking garage on property and we do the usual "make a mental note of where we parked for later". That's when I see a smirk come across his face as he turns to me laughing under his breath.

-"What's so funny?"

-"Notice where we parked?"

-"Yeah. Jurassic Park lot, 3B"

Cue dad

-"Jurassic Park..." half expecting me to laugh. He continues "Jurassic Park... Jurr-Ass-is-Parked"

facepalm

As terrible as it was at the time, I've tried to pull this joke out with friends years later, eye rolls and crickets. Thanks dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lpmark04
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2015
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My mom just went full dadjoke

Talking about Jurassic park

My mom: Ahhh dinosaurs never get old! pause hahahahahahaha

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sithlords18
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2014
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My Dad would always tell us we were leaving without telling us where we were going...

Without fail, he would say

"Get Jurassic Park in the car!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dirtychaplain
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2014
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What do you get when you combine a dinosaur and a pig?

Jurassic Pork.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealLameUserName
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
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What do you call a blind dinosaur

A doyouthinkhesaurus

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thearabest2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
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Never fight a dinosaur.

You’ll get jurass-kicked.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/That-Big-Man-J
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
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Why should you never box a dinosaur.

You will get jurass kicked.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ayden027
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
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What do you call a dinosaur covered in bacon?

Jurassic pork!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NAHchoCHEEESE
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2018
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Why were dinosaurs so big?

Because Jurassic times call for Jurassic measures.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/glyph-bellchime
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2018
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What do you get when you cross a dinosaur and a pig?

Jurassic Pork

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hunter0674
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2018
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Why were dinosaurs so big

Jurassic times called for Jurassic measures

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheGamerBoy015
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2018
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What do you get when you cross a dinosaur and a pig?

Jurassic Pork

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LucarioSkywalker
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2015
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