James Boadu Puns

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Having good options from my bench was really important to me reaching Div 1 last year, so I thought I’d make a list of some of the best players I’ve found so far.

You’re looking for 3 things in order to find the best cheap supersubs:

1. Players with bad links
2. Players with a bad position on their card
3. Players who can play in multiple positions

After looking for the best options for under 1.5/2k each, I feel like I’ve found the best 7 players to fill your bench with.

CB - De Laet/Long/Gvardiol

All three of these guys have awkward links but all have 80+ pace and can be picked up for 1k or less

Fullback/CM - Gosens

I’m not even going to list anyone else because Gosens is your guy. His stats are absolutely nuts, the fact that he’s 950 coins is absolutely criminal. So far I’ve subbed him in at LB, CDM, CM, LM and he’s great no matter where you play him. He’s the exact guy you want on your bench for when you pick up a red card, he can play anywhere.

CDM - Adams/Zobnin/Nainggolan

Each of these guys have good pace and defending. I never see people subbing in CDM’s, but for me it’s crucial when trying to close out a game. No need to overspend, having one of them on the bench for 1k is worth it and could end up winning you more games than you’d think.

CAM - Talisca/Ziyech/Mhkitaryan

Talisca and Ziyech being ST/RW’s makes their prices a lot lower than they would be if they were CAM’s in my opinion. Great Shooting, Passing and WF/Skills. A valuable option given that CAM’s usually have their stamina drained the most.

Wingers/Wide CAM’s - Orsic/Rafa/James/Promes/Visca/Bruma

If you’re to take anything from this list, it’s to buy Gosens, and one of these guys. All of these guys have fantastic pace and shit links, they’re flying under the radar. Personally I have Orsic for his shooting, Rafa for his dribbling, and Promes because he’s double 4*. If you like spamming triangle/y, then James is your guy.

ST - Boadu/Isak/Morales/Acheapong/Castillo/Bakambu/Bebou/Osimhen/Martinez

The options are endless at ST. Shit links are key here. If you want pace, Acheapong and Castillo are the best options. For good shooting, you’ve got Morales, Osihmen, Martinez and Bakambu. If you want 5* WF, there’s Boadu and Isak.

I’ve got Boadu, Castillo and Isak. For the unaware, Isak is one of only 2 players (Talisca) in the game to have the body type High & Lean. Anyone who had his Objective TOTS card a few months ago knows how good he is. He can score from headers

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

They’re on standbi

## Lille OSC

###Arrivées

###Départs

## Paris Saint-Germain

###Arrivées

###Départs

Pilot on me!!

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

You take away their little brooms

There hasn't been a post all year!

Why

I decided to look through Futbin squads to see some of the OP cards (and commonly used based on my opinion) that got introduced in TOTW and promos in each month and compiled it into a list, so that we can maybe have an idea of what cards may be released for Futties Favourites.

October: ASM for his inclusion in TOTW2

November: Renato for UEL RTTF, Klostermann for UCL RTTF, Sissoko for UCL RTTF, Promes for UEL RTTF, Kante for TOTW, Teixeira for Hero card, Kounde for RTTF

December: Theo Hernandez for UEL MOTM, Zaha for TOTW, Cuadrado for TOTW, SMS for TOTW, Marquinhos for Freeze, Cancelo for UCL RTTF, Alaba for RTTF, Felix for POTM

January: Zaha for HL, Bamba for HL, Son for HL, Goretzka for HL, Yedder for TOTW, Pope for TOTW, Dybala for FB, Klaiber for SD, Robben for FB, Boateng for Moments SBC

February: Kulusevski for FS, Reece James for FS, Dest for FS, Saka for FS, Kante for WIF, Mbabu for WIF, Sancho for WIF, Rooney for EOAE, El Shaarawy for FB

March: Boadu for TOTW (initial hype), Diatta for WIF, Morales for WIF, Shaw for TOTW, Mendy for FBD, Simon for FBD, Sambia for FBD, Silas for TOTW, Vidal for FBD, Reus for FBD

April: Can for FBD, Atal for FBD, Kent for FBD, Pulisic for TOTW, Max Aarons for TOTS, AWB for TOTS, Neres for SD, Renato for FBD

May onwards are TOTS heavy, so I'm not really sure what to expect there. Hopefully this helps -- looking forward to what drops later in a few hours!

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved

Him: I can explain everything!

(It's his best joke yet I think)

Bob

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.

Just to clarify, 12345678

Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...

Notices there's only 2;

Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."

I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.

I was just sitting there doing nothing.

“BOOM”?!