I…Vampire Puns

It was a mistake.

I'm the main stake holder.

They told me “he doesn’t count!”. I replied “I assure you he does”.

Finding where he is will enable the final count down

The stakes have never been higher

I found out they blessed the rains down in Africa

But they all suck.

It was a giant missed stake.

It was 1260 megabites

Unless you Count Dracula.

Countdraculations.

What is 5m. tall, hairy and flies at 2,179 km/h?

A King Kongcorde.

What do witches use to know the hour?

A witch watch.

What do you call a chicken spirit?

A poultrygeist.

And one mine:

What do you call a house inhabited by a chicken spirit?

A hen-ted house.

Then I remembered that vampires are killed by holy water.

They bless the rains down in Africa.

that's it. that's the whole joke

In self defense, I put a steak through his heart

He called himself Vlad the Inhaler.

Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa.

Children were so intelligent, they have a bright future ahead.

Jeez, I make a perfectly good vampire joke and that's the fangs I get.

My daughter shrieked,"Quick dad, show him your cross!"

Without a second thought, I shouted, "YOU LEAVE US ALONE YOU BIG MEAN OLD VAMPIRE!!"

His name's Count Everest. He rocks a killer widow's peak.

but when I look in the mirror I just don't see it.

It explains why so many people get drunk there.

But I forgot to Count Dracula.

Apparently, they are a real pain in the neck.

Down vote

I'm the main stake holder.

I am now the main stake holder.

They said, he doesn't count!

I replied, "I can assure you, he does!"

I am their main stake holder.