What do you call it when a 40 y/o woman wants to stop delivering babies for a living?
I saw a homeless guy living in a tyre...So, I punctured it.
Since then, he's living in a flat.
It’s really hard for me to say what my wife does for a living.
She sells sea shells on the sea shore.
I pine fir the good oak days, when it was poplar to spruce up the living room with a real tree.
Its been hard living with a Tampa Bay Rays fan
I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you don’t.” And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town can’t be buried here.” I was really confused so I asked why?
He rasped, "Cuz they’re still alive!"
I used to upholster furniture for a living and hated it. My boss switched me to packing for a while then switched me back. I hate it so bad I have to go to a support group. Talking helps me to do the damned job.
After years of trying I have decided to give up on my life long dream of becoming a world renowned spaghetti chef. It’s time to move on and stop living in ...
Think it's easy living in a cold animal house?
Nope! It's a terrible burden. >!Brrr-Den!<
Wasn't sure if this was the place to post, or if I should look for Dad jokes instead.
I did a good deed today. I saw a homeless man living in a tyre and I punctured it...
How is that a good deed you ask?
Well now he lives in a flat!
I bake apple pies for a living. I recently bought an apple corer, but I quit using it...
...because it was boring.
A squirrel is living in a pine tree, when one day, he feels it shaking, looks down and sees an elephant climbing the tree. The squirrel shrieks, “What are you doing climbing my tree?” “Well, I’m coming up here to eat some pears.” says the elephant.
“You idiot, this is a pine tree, there are no pears!”
“Well I brought my own pears.”
One day I want to create a documentary that follows the life of a dolphin trainer. I’ll call it, “living with a porpoise.”
I find it really hard to say what my wife does for a living.
She sells seashells by the sea shore.
It is really hard to say what my wife does for a living.
She sells sea shells by the sea shore.
I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you don’t.” And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town can’t be buried here.” I was really confused so I asked why?
He rasped, "Cuz they’re still alive!"
It is hard to say what my wife does for a living.
She sells sea shells by the sea shore.
It’s hard to say what my wife does for a living.
She sells sea shells by the sea shore.
It’s really hard to say what my wife does for a living.
She sells sea shells by the sea shore.
It’s really hard to say what my wife does for a living.
She sells sea shells by the sea shore.
Its hard to say what my wife does for a living
She sells sea shells by the sea shore
Today, I saw a homeless man living in a tyre, so I punctured it
He's now living in a flat
I saw a homeless man living in a tyre, so I punctured it
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
