Do you sweat while you sleep?

My partner M(33) and I were just having this discussion. I don't think I sweat while I sleep. I know he does, and he tried to convince me without any evidence that I do as well, just saying that everyone sweats while they sleep. Is this true? I tried to google it and all I could find was about night sweats and sweating conditions and that's not quite what I was looking for.

Any thoughts from you all?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ace6789
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
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(Warning: Morbid dad joke) True Story -- My family were planning my mum's funeral. We always try to keep things light and try to stay positive, just as Mum would have it...

The funeral director was asking us what we think Mum should wear in her casket.

Mum always loved to wear sarongs (fabric wraps that go around the torso and drape downward a bit like a long skirt would), so my uncle suggested that she wear a sarong in there.

The funeral director looked a bit confused, as did some of our family members, to which my uncle added:

"What's sarong with that?"

I started laughing like an idiot. He was proud of it too. The funeral director was rather shocked. We assured her, and our more proper relatives, that Mum would've absolutely loved the joke (which is very true).

His delivery was perfect. I'll never forget the risk he took. We sometimes recall the moment as a way help cushion the blows of the grieving process.

--Edit-- I appreciate the condolences. I'm doing well and the worst is behind me and my family. But thanks :)

--Edit-- Massive thanks for all the awards and kind words. And the puns! Love 'em.

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If my son ever came out to be trans then I wouldn’t have a son anymore

I would have a daughter

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Ah yes, pretty hip
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Dis-a-
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πŸ“…︎ May 06 2021
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Don't know if this was posted here before
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πŸ‘€︎ u/choclite69
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Bill and Melinda Gates got divorced. Melinda got the house...

But Bill kept the Windows

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScubaPride
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From my 5-year-old son: "Hey"

True story; it even happened last night. My 5-year-old son walks up behind me and out of the blue says, "hey."

I turn to him and say, "yeah, kiddo? What's up?"

He responds, "it's dead grass."

I'm really confused and trying to figure out what's wrong and what he wants from me. "What? There's dead grass? What's wrong with that?"

.

.

.

He says, totally straight-faced, "hay is dead grass," and runs off.

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If you slap Dwayne Johnsons butt

You officially hit rock bottom

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What is the fastest growing city in the world?

Capital of Ireland

It's Dublin everyday

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πŸ“…︎ May 16 2021
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What rhymes with orange.

No it doesn't.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Remo1975
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
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There will be point in the future when Canada will take over the world.

And then you will all be sorry.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2021
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My Bluetooth speaker wasn’t working so I threw it into the lake.

Now it’s syncing.

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Bit coin or something idk
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In surgery my doctor said, "So what do we have here?" I replied that I broke my arm in 12 places."

He replied, "Well, stop going to those places then!"

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To the person who stole my MS Office License.

I will find you. You have my Word.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Regclusive
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I told my wife I saw a deer on the way to work.

She said how do you know he was headed to work?

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Water pun
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In honor of Mother’s Day, I’d just like to say,

β€œthank you for your cervix.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rusto_Dusto
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I've started a boat building business in my attic...

...sails are going through the roof.

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He is right there...
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πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
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Sponge bob | (β€’)(β€’) | , Patrick / (β€’)(β€’) \ , Squidward ( (β€’)(β€’) ) , Plankton | (β€’) | , Mr. Krabs |β€’| |β€’|

Made me smile

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πŸ‘€︎ u/marinmarge
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2021
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I got banned from /r/DadJokes for posting, "Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms!"

Mods said I'm a cereal reposter...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
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What do you call a drunk person fumbling with their car keys?

A taxi

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SubstantialBelly6
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Initially I didn’t believe that my chiropractor was any good.

But now I stand corrected.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
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PSA: Extended dry fasting is EXTREMELY dangerous and offers ZERO benefits for fat loss
Reminder. DO NOT promote dangerous practices like dry fasting here. Please use the reporting tools available to report anyone that is breaking this rule.

There seems to be a lot of dangerous (mis)information floating around recently about extended dry fasting, so I'm going to take a little time to explain why it's so terrible. Please note this is NOT directed to short-term dry fasts (of a day or less), like those observed in many religious practices.

>Water is essential for life. From the time that primeval species ventured from the oceans to live on land, a major key to survival has been prevention of dehydration. [...] Without water, humans can survive only for days. [1]

1. Without water you will die in a matter of days/weeks.

It's kind of shocking that this even needs to be stated, but here we are. Everyone that has ever considered survival priorities knows the importance of water. Prehistoric Neanderthals understood this, even your house cat understands this, but apparently people here need a reminder because they watched some idiot on YouTube.

Death by dehydration is incredibly common. Some 500,000 people in the US are hospitalized every year for dehydration and a full 2% of those admissions die at hospital [2]. So it's not like we're talking about an extremely rare and exotic condition that doctors don't understand well. In fact we have better data on death by dehydration than almost any other form of death I can think of, since terminal dehydration in end-of-life situations is so common. For example, discontinuing sustenance in patients in a persistent vegetative state is known to lead to death from dehydration after about 10 to 14 days from a vast body of experience including that of hospice nurses [3, 4]. The precise amount of time you can survive without water depends on factors like your initial hydration level, exertion levels, the temperature/humidity of the climate you’re in, medical conditions, etc.β€”but, after losing enough water (usually ~10-15% of bm) death WILL be the outcome [5].

Now this isn't to say you're immediately going to drop dead if you don't take water for a day or two. The point is that by depriving your body of wate

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fitnessexpress
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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*Triggering britishers*
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πŸ“…︎ May 03 2021
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Guys, today was my first day in the navy and I felt so lost!

Wait. Sorry, wrong sub.

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And on that note
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My whole life I thought Chewbacca was an Ewok....

Wookie mistake.

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I'm so proud. My 12-year old told this joke during dinner: What degree does Dr. Pepper have?

Theoretical Fizz-ics

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originally posted on r/tumblr by u/MaetelofLaMetal
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Knight Knight
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Because you can’t β€˜C’ in the dark

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My Dad just sent me this
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It is
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My wife said, β€œI don’t really understand the science behind human cloning.”

I said, β€œThat makes two of us.”

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There were 30 cows and 28 chicken. How many didn't?
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I caught my son chewing on an electrical cord...

so I had to ground him.

He's doing better currently.

And conducting himself properly.

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This one cracked me
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An assassin

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My wife: You need to do more chores around the house.

Me: Can we change the subject?

My wife: Okay. More chores around the house need to be done by you.

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My grandfather was always terrible until I had my first child

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Did you know that before crowbars were invented...

Crows mostly drank alone.

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get it? get it? get it?
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3 in 1
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