If you're Russian in the kitchen what are you in the bathroom?
Yesterday I purchased a world map and put it on the wall in the kitchen
I gave my wife a dart and said:" Throw this and, wherever it lands, i'll take you there for a holiday."
Turns out we're spending three weeks behind the fridge.
From my 70 year old dad: I hung up a map of the US in the kitchen and gave my wife a dart. I told her we would go on a two week vacation wherever she stuck the dart.
Looks like we’ll be spending two weeks behind the fridge.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
I've never had an eggs benedict at a restaurant as good as the one I can make in my own kitchen.
There's no place like home for the hollandaise.
My 16 year old son was in the kitchen baking up a storm when my wife came downstairs. "What are you doing?" she asked him. "I'm going to have a bake sale to buy a car," he answered. "Where on earth did you get that idea? We're in a pandemic! No one is going to buy baked goods!" He said...
"I heard on Reddit that you need cake to get the car, ma."
3 domesticated Rams are in the kitchen, labelled A, B & C
If you put a pumpkin on ram A, nothing happens.
If you put a pumpkin on ram B you get the same result.
But if you put a pumpkin on Ram C it starts knocking things off counters, making a mess and abusing the kitchen staff.
I guess that is what happens when you put a gourd on ram c in the kitchen.
Last night my son saw a mouse in the kitchen so he wiped down all the counters and cleaned everything...
Tonight I'm putting the mouse in the bathroom.
I stole a mixer from the kitchen in work today
It was a whisk i was willing to take
Did you hear about the Italian chef that slipped in the kitchen?
For the lobsters in the kitchen....
...the sinking of the Titanic was a 'miracle'.
My mom was working in the kitchen, and she accidentally broke some tiles
And my dad said, "I told you that method would be fewtile"
A couple of dogs were sitting in the kitchen chewing the fat. First dog says, “I heard a good joke today.” Second dog replies, “Go on then.” First dog continues, “Knock Kno..."
Second dog leaps up and goes berserk...
Yesterday my wife thought she saw a cockroach in the kitchen, she sprayed everything down and cleaned thoroughly
Today I'm putting a cockroach in the bathroom
Today my wife caught me redhanded in the kitchen
I burst into the kitchen and shouted at my wife, "Honey! Whatever you do, do NOT let them take your temperature on your forehead when you go into the supermarket!! It erases your memory!! I went in for bread and milk like you asked..."
"...and came out with two cases of beer!!!"
If you are an American in the kitchen, then what are you when you are in the bathroom?
I heard there was a fight in the kitchen and...
Meanwhile, in the kitchen
I was carrying a bowl of chili from the kitchen and my dog ran in and caused me to drop the entire bowl on top of him, covering him in chili.
I walked into the kitchen this morning and I saw my wife was cooking breakfast in her slippers again.
I thought to myself "I really should buy her a fry pan "
My wife said the best way to deal with bugs in the kitchen is to just leave them alone.
Personally I think that is just ignore ants.
I like to spend holidays in the kitchen
My wife demanded that I take the spider that was in the kitchen, out…
Nice guy! We got a couple of beers. He wants to be a web developer someday.
I may not be a dad, but what do I do everytime I go to the sink cupboard in the kitchen?
I sing: "Under the Sink (Under the Sink)!" Even in a poor slightly Jamaican accent...
Did you hear about the kitchen explosion in France?
It resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
At first my wife was upset at me for spilling some ice in the kitchen
But I explained to her that it was just water under the fridge now.
The Grim Reaper appeared in beside me when I was chopping up some carrots in my kitchen.
He took his scythe and started chopping the carrots with me. Very scary when you are dicing with death.
A guy starts working at a submarine. In the first day he works as a cleaner, then helps at the kitchen. Next day he runs the ship. In the evening he’s absolutely exhausted so he asks his friend “Why I have to change my position every time?”
He replies “I know, this sub is full of reposts”
If you’re an American in the kitchen, what are you when you’re in the bathroom?
I have long shelf in my kitchen where i put the meat at the top. It’s safe to say...
Why was the cheese happy in the kitchen?
He thought he was grater than everyone else.
I installed the granite in the kitchen all by myself.
Put together a table in my room for the kitchen, now the table doesn’t fit through the door...one could say the tables have been turned
“Don’t touch the blackberry cobbler in the kitchen!”
But that little man continued to make his little stupid berry shoes.
I live in an apartment building, and my neighbour, Nami, on the floor above me, managed to flood my entire apartment! There are practically tidal waves in my kitchen. She refuses to pay for the cleanup, too.
I don't know if this was the right choice, but I decided to tsunami.
I just lost an ice cube in the kitchen.
But I'm not worried, its just water under the fridge.
I’ve recently designed a miniature IoT smart kitchen implement for straining vegetables. It’s a source of much discussion and argument between people in the culinary world.
You could say my creation is a little device-seive.
I bet when Japanese chefs get stressed in the kitchen about not having enough pots and pans...
Say theres a bunch of flys in a kitchen, how do you tell which one is the cowboy?
I always keep an extra bag of tortilla chips in the kitchen.
You know. In queso emergency.
If the kitchen is in the house and Diana is in the kitchen, what is in Diana?
After he installs the new granite surfaces in your kitchen, does the Cabinet Maker hand you
If you're Russian in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom?
A couple of dogs were sitting in the kitchen chewing the fat. First dog says, “I heard a good joke today.” Second dog replies, “Go on then.” First dog continues, “Knock Kno..."
Second dog leaps up and goes berserk...
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