23 Hilarious In the Cards Puns

Why is it so hard to play cards in the jungle?

Too many cheetahs

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📅︎ Apr 17 2021

I went to the rock-wall place but my debit card was declined, so I had to pay with the coins in my car’s center console.

It was my climb-it change.

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👤︎ u/CarterLawler

📅︎ Jan 10 2021

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I really like that actress in “House of Cards,” “Manhattan” and “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.”

I’m a Rachel Brosnafan.

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👤︎ u/backalleywillie

📅︎ Dec 31 2020

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In the store I saw some brightly coloured greeting cards that said, "I will always love only you "

They sold them in packs of 12.

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👤︎ u/VERBERD

📅︎ Nov 09 2020

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What kind of card does a sea captain get when he is in the hospital?

Get whale soon

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👤︎ u/runs_with_airplanes

📅︎ Feb 24 2020

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Away on vacation and got the card to our hotel room. Told my wife: “ nice we’re staying in the pie room.”

“What’s a pie room?” she replies, Room 314. We’re staying in room 314. Should have seen the look on her face.

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👤︎ u/ArtisansCritic

📅︎ Oct 28 2019

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In women's football, if the referee has shown a red card, it means he has

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👤︎ u/PacMook_Bro

📅︎ Mar 30 2019

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I was looking through the cards in the supermarket. One said on the front: "Thank You For Being A Role Model Dad."

How cute is that? So I slipped it into my pocket and took it home to show my kids.

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👤︎ u/TommehBoi

📅︎ Sep 10 2019

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I lost my credit card in the washing machine.

It's laundered money now.

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👤︎ u/ItsSuperRob

📅︎ Jul 28 2019

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A patient bursts into a doctor’s office, "Doctor, I believe I'm a deck of cards!" The doctor calmly replies, "Go sit in the waiting room, please, I'll be dealing with you later." short-funny.com/best-puns…

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👤︎ u/moses10960

📅︎ Jul 10 2017

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TIL that Cards Against Humanity joked that they could buy an island with the money they donate to charity, so they bought an island in Maine to preserve wildlife. They named it ‘Hawaii 2’ because “it’s on the Maine land.” connecticut.cbslocal.com/…

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👤︎ u/Big_Spicy_Tuna69

📅︎ Sep 16 2018

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The Queen of England dropped some valuable cards in the toilet.

They call it the royal flush.

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👤︎ u/Pun-isher42

📅︎ Jun 16 2019

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I was stuck on a boat with no food in the middle of the ocean with just a deck of cards.

Luckily I could go fish.

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👤︎ u/F1NANCE

📅︎ Jan 08 2019

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My dad is in the hospital over his birthday this year and has asked for puns to cheer him up. Here's the card I'm sending him.

https://imgur.com/gallery/JMrrqp9

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👤︎ u/CandysaurusRex

📅︎ Oct 08 2018

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I saw my enemy in the supermarket, so I threw a bunch of "Thank You" cards at him. It turns out one of the cards hit him so hard that he died in hospital.

I was always told that you should kill them with kindness.

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👤︎ u/TommehBoi

📅︎ Jan 15 2019

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my nine year old cousin has been in the hospital for a few days, and this was in one of her get well soon cards imgur.com/ycki78f

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👤︎ u/alextoria

📅︎ Dec 12 2015

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Why is it dangerous to play cards in the jungle?

Cause there’s too many cheetahs.

-my kid thinks this is hysterical because cheetahs don’t live in the jungle, they live in the savannah.

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👤︎ u/undatedrelic

📅︎ Dec 17 2018

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Got this card in the mail on my birthday. He even included a UPC code. imgur.com/a/DoFtF

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👤︎ u/jrbachrach

📅︎ Oct 02 2013

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Pity there are only a few Sheep cards in Magic the Gathering...

I could have made a Commander Shepard deck.

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👤︎ u/SunBorne187

📅︎ Feb 25 2017

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What I wrote in the Christmas card for my in laws

Anything You want

Ps- I asked my wife what I should write in your card. She replied "anything you want"

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👤︎ u/DannyCKing

📅︎ Dec 26 2016

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I accidentally put my donor card in the cash machine the other day.

It cost me an arm and a leg.

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👤︎ u/trajiin

📅︎ Oct 28 2015

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I told my wife it's funny that I can't beat my friend in a certain card game, but win against him every time in the online version.

I guess when I'm using a mouse something just clicks.

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👤︎ u/Gunnrhildr

📅︎ Oct 12 2015

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I got my Donor Card in the mail today

It was generously given to me by someone else

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👤︎ u/grayworks

📅︎ Apr 12 2014

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