I put a picture of myself in a locket...

You could say, I'm Independent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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After I was arrested, my ex-wife decided to hang a picture of my mugshot on the wall in her living room.

But she still won't admit she framed me.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DestroyatronMk8
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
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I always carry a picture of my wife and kids in my wallet.

Just to remind me why there's no money in there.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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When I was in high school in Belleville, ON, a young local artist spray-painted a beautiful picture on a large concrete wall under a bridge by the Moira river. He didn't get permission to do this, however, and the city eventually painted over it.

Watching his picture go like that must've been pretty demuralizing.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/levitron
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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The day my daughter turns 18, I’m going to buy her a locket, put her picture in it, and when she opens it tell her:

β€œWell, I guess now you really are… independent"

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Daudelin1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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My friend is making a lot of easy money by taking pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes.

It’s like shooting fish in apparel.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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What do you call a rival in picture taking?

A foe-tographer.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
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How do you take school pictures in 2020?

With a Zoom lens

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πŸ‘€︎ u/undatedrelic
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
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A buddy of mine likes taking pictures of salmon in clothes

He says he likes shooting fish in apparel

πŸ‘︎ 121
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StAnger99
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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My partner said that I looked constipated in our pictures

I was tryna hold my shit together

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wadesman26
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
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Guy #1: Check out these pictures I took of the wheat fields during my drive in the country

Guy #2: That would explain why they look so grainy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iniquitor
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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Every time I travel to a new city, I like to take a picture of myself in front of the tomes of books...

I just have to take shelfies!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
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A buddy of mine has a new hobby where he dresses up salmon in tiny outfits and takes pictures of them.

He says its like shooting fish in apparel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mchead22
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
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A rare picture of ground in its natural habitat
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrTomas150
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
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I’ve nether seen that Notch puns in one picture
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiziouzou4life
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
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This girl on Tinder asked me why I have an unlit cigarette in my picture... I told her I’m just looking for matches.
πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
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In the Disney animated picture, Ratatouille, Remy controls Linguini actions by pulling his hair, giving him a perfect palette. The little chef’s squeak is the only other voice Linguini ever really hears at home.

I guess you could say Remy is Linguini’s voice of season

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
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My daughter turned 18 today, so I bought her a locket and put her picture in it. As I gently placed it around her neck, chocking back the tears, I said, "Well, sweetheart, I guess you really are..."

...independent!"

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bot_10
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
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There has been some good news today as a plus-size clairvoyant announces they are releasing a charity calendar, with pictures of them in their underwear.

Fans of the psychic say that they are looking forward to seeing a large medium in smalls.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/megamouth2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
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i went to the doctor's woth my parents, and found out i have tapeworms in my stomach. the doctor showed us some pictures of tapeworms. and both my parents fainted.

i guess ive got a stomach for it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yeeturking
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
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Tried taking a picture of my hamster in his banana hammock but he jumped out before I could take it

He did a banana split

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/itsaustinjones
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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I was walking in the Himalayan mountains when a hairy creature came into view. I was about to snap a picture but it said, "do not take a picture of me at this moment."

I saw a yet-i.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
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So I asked my brother why he was wearing glasses in his new profile picture.

He replied, "because I wanted to look sharp".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RamseyDidIt
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
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I put a picture of my daughter in a titanium locket necklace

I wanted her to be strong and independent

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
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My wife was hanging 7 pictures in a row on the wall when I told her should should hang 3 over 4.

It’s created a real division in our home.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nftpc
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2020
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Comments under a post about first picture of a person dying in an electric chair.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KaiNoob
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
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A pun-chain about a picture of horses in a plane
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tenth_Doctor_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
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I just figured out why Beyoncé’s hair is always blowing in every picture.

It is because she has so many fans.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
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I put my clothes in the washing machine yesterday and all of them came out with a picture of Santa on it.

I shouldn’t have used the Yule Tide Detergent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
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My friend is obsessed with taking blurry pictures of himself while he is in the shower.

He has serious selfie steam issues.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
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Tap in the picture
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ducanh2003
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
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What do you call a picture of a weight-lifting woman in a locket?

A strong independent woman.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/r_plantae
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
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This picture is β€œA maze in”
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xerxiz32
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2019
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I got a picture of myself in a locket for my 18th birthday. old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/co…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kevin0wens
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
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Post was on a picture of the Simpsons where there was a flashback between Homer and Marge taking care of Bart and Lisa but theres a picture of Maggie in the background before she was born
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nameisnoman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
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Turned 18 today, so I bought a locket and put my own picture in it. Guess I really am

Independent

 

 

 

 

 

(from /u/gowthamcity)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/live4lifelegit
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
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So much pain in one picture.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SelfEctomy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2018
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LPT: A quick and easy way to make money is to take pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes.

It’s like shooting fish in apparel.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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I bought my daughter a locket and put her picture in it.

Now she's independent.

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/habsfan1112
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I always carry a picture of my wife and kids in my wallet.

I do it to remind myself why there is no money in there.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ksbalaji
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
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My friend is getting rich by taking pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes.

It’s like shooting fish in apparel.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I bought my daughter a locket and put her picture in it.

Now she is independent.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coot32
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2018
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My daughter turned 18 today, so I bought her a locket and put her picture in it. As I gently placed it around her neck, chocking back the tears, I said, "Well, sweetheart, I guess you really are..."

...independent!"

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2018
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When a man's daughter turned 18 today, so he bought her a locket and put her picture in it.

As he gently placed it around her neck, chocking back the tears, he said, "Well, sweetheart, I guess you really are..."

...independent!"

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
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My son turned 18 today so I bought him a locket and put his picture in it...

I guess you could say I wanted him to be independent!

πŸ‘︎ 366
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
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My friend is weirdly addicted to taking blurry pictures of him in the shower.

He has serious selfie steam issues.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
🚨︎ report
If you put a picture of yourself in a locket...

You could say you’re independent

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yourfather223
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
🚨︎ report

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