I was having a glass of wine with my wife after a long day and I heard her say "I love you so much and always look forward to being with you at the end of the day. I don't know what I'd do without you." "Is that you or the wine talking?" I asked. She replied "It's me...
Before I met my wife my love life was hot like the Sahara desert.
My wife sent me a heartwarming text that read, “If you're sleeping, send me your dreams. If you're laughing, send me your smile. If you're eating, send me a bite. If you're drinking, send me a sip. If you're crying, send me your tears. I love you!”
I replied, “I'm on the toilet, please advise…”
I read it's romantic to scatter rose petals on your bed, but they were too expensive. Instead, my wife and I will just have to make love on..
I love to set things on fire. So does my wife. So does our kid.
The first time he set a building on fire, I turned to my wife and said, "yep, that's arson."
My wife loves her car, and I trust her driving, but she just has no chill.
That's why we take my car during the summer.
Me: I love going to art school! My wife: you can’t go any more!
Me : but that’s where I draw the line
I love makeup sex with my wife.
But I still push through it when she’s not wearing any.
Today my wife said "I would love to go to the south of France one day"
I said that would be Nice
I looked at my wife and proclaimed, "I promise to love you 24/7!!"
She looked lovingly at me, eyes welling with tears as I continued, "And today is the day!"
My wife doesn't talk too much, but she LOVES to chat, so I'm joining a support group for compulsive talkers:
My wife insists that I use the phrase “make love” instead of the f-word.
I said, “What the make love are you talking about?”
My wife and I love to go on dates, but we always do what she wants. Today she asked me, ‘If you had to pick any date, what would it be?’
My wife is always complaining she has been waiting for the day that i will love her 24/7
I just told her that day has finally come.
I love my wife. She won't settle for anything.
I think my wife loves Bono
Whenever I tell her, "I love you!"
She says, "I love U2"
My wife said she loves her new whiteboard I put up.
I told her "I think it's totally re-markable."
I’d love my wife even if she didn’t condition her hair
I love her unconditionally
Like most parents, my wife and I love to watch our beautiful little daughter while she sleeps.
Freaks her husband out though.
I have two big ladders at home but when I got married to my second wife, she had a small ladder, so now I have a step ladder but I love it all the same
My wife tricked me into watching “P.S. I love you” on Netflix.
Turns out it is not about a dude who marries his PlayStation.
My wife thinks I'm too in love with four door vehicles.
I told her to sedan and relax.
I texted my wife today saying, "I love u!"
She replied, "Oh, really? :~)"
I said, "Yes, it's my favourite vowel."
I want a sofa and love seat, my wife wants a sectional. I say. "No way! I don't want any..."
"...sectionally transmitted diseases!"
This is why I love my wife
http://i.imgur.com/qTK2BHz.jpg
Last night I made love to my wife while camping....
I really love setting things on fire, so does my wife and our kid.
The first time he set fire to a building I said "Yep, that's arson".
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
