Oh, the hugh-manatee!!!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UneducatedBiscuit
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
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Hugh Jackman is making a live action Frosty movie where he joins the circus!

It’s called The Greatest Snowman.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/whaddayagondo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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The greatest baseball player ever was a guy named Hugh McBealy, and he was most famous for every single time he came to the plate knocking the ball high over right field and into the stands.

He scored a home run every single at bat, and always the exact same way. Way over right field, too high for anyone to reach, and it always landed in exactly the 17th row of the stands, give or take a couple feet.

He earned the nickname β€œthe machine” for how consistently he hit the exact same spot every time. Right field, 17th row, every single time. He did this for 20 years before he retired. Tickets to the 2-3 seats that the ball always landed on sold for over $2k a pop by the time he retired because you were guaranteed at least a couple home run balls.

And the day he retired a reporter asked him β€œHow does it feel to be retiring as the greatest hitter of all time?”

Hugh just looked at the reporter puzzled. β€œWhat do you mean?” He said.

The reporter clarified β€œliterally over 5,000 times you went to the plate and hit a home run to right field, 17th row of the stands!”

Hugh looked dejected and disappointed β€œyeah, my greatest failure...”

β€œWhat do you mean?” Said the reporter incredulously.

Hugh let’s out a long sigh, and looked down at the ground quietly for a moment before finally speaking.

β€œI’ve been aiming left this whole time”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Frnklfrwsr
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
If Hugh Hefner had a noise machine, which noises would he listen to?

Only Fans

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πŸ‘€︎ u/msboogers
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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My friend, Hugh, asked me if I was colour-blind.

"Where are you?" I replied.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dashie1985
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Hugh Grant stars in political romance coming 12th Dec imgur.com/fJOmd5g
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VisualShock1991
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
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What did Mick Jagger say when he found Hugh Hefner in bed with Dennis Weaver?

'Hey, hey, Hugh, Hugh, get off of McCloud"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
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Hugh.
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PLAKKO
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
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Hugh Hefner kicked some monks off his property today

The monks were selling flowers in front of the playboy mention when they were kicked out. When asked about it, the monk replied β€œif it was anybody else we would have gotten away with it, but only Hugh can prevent florist friars”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BirdOfPrey37
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend does the same two impressions in every party. He is either Matt Damon or Hugh Jackman.

Maybe he’s Bourne with it. Maybe he’s Wolverine.

πŸ‘︎ 77
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Oh the hugh manatee
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DanMan2005
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
🚨︎ report
u/look_hugh_it_is "This Guy Fawkes"
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sonickid101
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
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I doubt being colorblind is a hugh problem
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gigamore412
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Hugh-mility.
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What are some other name puns like Hugh Mungus, Ben Dover, Phillip Mahole, Eric Shin...?
πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LAXisFUN
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2016
🚨︎ report
Hugh-mility.
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2018
🚨︎ report
Hubs is gonna be late tonight
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/amandapandacomics
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
🚨︎ report
I put the punchline to this joke on Mr.Jackman's head.

If you don't get it, joke's on Hugh.

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/digiBeLow
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
🚨︎ report
Hugh McScary, and no one else, was able to shut down a flower shop being ran by two belfry workers.

This comes to show that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rararasputin88
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
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Hugh Hefner isn't dead, he just moved to Alabama
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strikeoutboy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2018
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Who needs Hugh Jackman - The new wolvarine.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EvenBetterCool
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2017
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πŸ‘€︎ u/four321zero
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2014
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Daughter: "I really love Hugh Jackman"

Me: "What the hell is an ackman?"

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hoodafakizit
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2016
🚨︎ report
The guy who played Wolverine on X -men was awesome

Hugh probably know him by Jackman

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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Our local cricket club applied to the council for a grant.

They got Hugh.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
My name is Hugh Mungus

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4aVna3HohXI

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Miek592
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2016
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Hugh Laurie walks into a bar owned by my mom's friend... imgur.com/MmGqsNI
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pcoff69
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2013
🚨︎ report
Hugh Jackman

So if Hugh Jackman is finished playing wolverine and stops being jacked; is he then a Hughman?

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kigbit
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2015
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Around the turn of 1900, two Friars move to London to start up a florist shop. Well this didn't sit well with the established florist shop down on the corner.

The other shop owner called his buddy to have someone trash their store. They sent Hugh, big guy like 6'3'' 300pounds. Hugh goes in and busts the store up and scares the Friars off, sending them back to the monastery.

The moral of the story is, Hugh and only Hugh can prevent Florist Friars.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/facts_my_guyy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Looking for punny D&D NPC names!

So far i’ve got: Robin Banks, Ben Dover, Tera Dachtyl, Brock Lee, Justin Tyme, Hit M Hart, Claire Rigg, Al E Gator, Arty Fishel, Dinah Might, Rea Lystic, Grace Full, Tsui Saidel and Faith Truman

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zappertap
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What would you call a stoned or drunk wolverine?

High Jackman

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Abjys
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2018
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Who is Geralt's favourite sea mammal?

Hugh Manatee

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
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Long joke ahead, but well worth it.

A while ago, there were some friars who needed to raise money, so they opened up a flower shop. Across the street, there was another flower shop that had already been open for a few years. Afraid of competition, the owner politely asked the friars to sell something else in heir shop. They refused. People liked the new flower shop better, so the first shop’s profits started dropping. Concerned that he might go out of business, the owner of the first shop asked the friars to close their shop. They refused. Some time passed, and the first shop was on the verge of bankruptcy. Desperate, the owner begged the friars to close their shop. They refused again. Then, the owner of the first shop used the last of his money to hire a hit man named Hugh Williams to beat up the friars and trash their shop. He did, and when he was done, he told the friars he’d be back if they didn’t close down. Scared for their lives, the friars agreed, proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent Florist Friars.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Here's a change: In the next 60 Minutes

it will be time for Hugh & Barbara, rather than Dan.

(I know its Muir/Robach and Stahl/Dickerson but I grew up with Mr. Downs and Ms. Walters. Anyone else?)

post time: 2300 GMT -5 12-31-2019

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πŸ‘€︎ u/onejdc
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
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Who is the funniest man in the world?

Hugh Morris

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
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When he asked me why I was laughing at his name, I told him:

Because it was Hugh Morris.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RevDrStrange
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
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I guarantee you there is nobody in the world smarter than me.

Or my name isn't Hugh Briss.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrthatsthat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2018
🚨︎ report
So kermit the frog walks into a bank...

He walks up to the teller. Her nametag says "Patricia Wak". He says, "Hey there, Patty, I'd like a loan." She replies, "Okay, for how much?"

"Ten dollars."

"I'm sorry, but I can't authorize that."

"Really? Well, what if I give you this?"

He hands her a clam with a top hat and googly eyes.

"Um... What is this?"

"Alright, alright. What if I told you my dad was Mick Jagger?"

"I can't give you a 10 dollar loan, it's simply against policy."

"Alright, I'll tell you what. Go talk to your manager, and bring the clam with you. He'll let you give me a loan."

Patricia walks into the back office and tells the manager the story. He immediately says "Alright, give him the loan."

"I'm sorry, but why this time?"

"Well (picking up the clam), it's mainly because of this, and also because of his dad."

"What is it exactly?"

"It's a knick knack, Patty Wak, give the frog a loan! His old man's a rolling stone!"

My dad's favourite.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hylandw
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2013
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My friend owns a mall (long)

I'm here today to tell you all a horrible story, so that none of you have to go through the same experience as my friend.

My friend, Hugh, is a very religious man, who is also involved in our community. 2 weeks ago, our local church burned down and Hugh believed it was his Christian duty to help them get back on their feet. Hugh allowed the friars of the church to set up a cart in his mall to sell their flowers. Every day, the friars came in at 7:00 in the morning with a bushel of beautiful flowers and began to work diligently to arrange them into bouquets. All was going well, the mall was generating more revenue and the church was making more money than they were by selling the flowers in front of the church on Sunday. Everyone was happy; until that first weekend.

Our town is kinda tourist-y, so we get some out-of-towners on the weekends. A gay couple came to the mall the first weekend that the friars had taken up shop (Typically, our town is pretty progressive, but the friars tended to be uber-conservative). The couple came over to the cart and admired the flowers; they tried to purchase a bouquet, but the friars refused to sell to them. The couple was outraged and went to see Hugh directly. They complained to him that the friars were being discriminatory, so Hugh promised to have a talk with the friars. When Hugh confronted the friars, they refused to sell to the couple on the grounds that β€œthey were committing an atrocity in the eyes of the lord.” The couple stormed off and promised to boycott the cart.

This past weekend, the couple came back with a large group and a letter from the mayor, saying that the friars had to sell to them, regardless of sexual preference. The friars stood firm and refused to sell to them, so the group started a protest. They brought in signs and started chanting around the cart. The friars continued to sell their flowers and Hugh allowed them to remain, so eventually the protest began to boycott the mall, rather than just the cart.

By today, the mall had lost 50% of its normal weekend revenue. The group sent a letter to Hugh saying that they could forgive him if he shut down the flower cart within the week. Hugh was pretty broken up, but he had no choice. To maintain his livelihood, he would have to kick the friars out of his store. He talked with the friars this morning and revoked their previous agreement. The friars had their cart packed and left by 7:30, to huge cheers from the community. The mall has been pretty norm

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/st_pugsley
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2016
🚨︎ report
Never buy flowers from a monk

Only YOU can prevent Florist Friars.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMattRHorn
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
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Why should you never give a flower to a monk?

Because only you can prevent florist friars.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deesel3315
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
🚨︎ report

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