A list of puns related to "Home range"
Me: It's Kansas State song.
Iβd hate for anything to happen to the dog.
Oh great. More mouths to feed.
(I got a condescending smirk out of my son for that one.)
He says that it makes him feel more at home... on the range.
Went shooting at an outdoor range. With my 11 year old boy. After putting 1000 rounds down range, we headed home. While driving home after like 10 mins...
Me, "my ears are messed up, the radio and the tires sound funny".
Son, (holding up three finger) says,"how many fingers am I holding up?"
Me, "What, I said my ears are messed up not my eyes!"
Son, (still holding up his fingers yells at the top of his lungs) "HOW MANY FINGERS AM I HOLDING UP?"
Im still laughing!
Home on the range
So I immediately pounced upon the opportunity and forwarded the time in his laptop by 6 hours.
When he returned, I said, "I'm leaving now. It's 5 PM already."
"Oh yes it is," He said, "See you tomorrow."
"It fucking worked!" I thought to myself, as I jolted towards home.
I then enjoyed my entire day and was sleeping peacefully at night, when my phone suddenly rang at 3:15 AM.
He said, "Hurry up, you're 15 minutes late for work."
Home on the range.
Home, home on the range!
Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.
Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":
Needed information: My family and I are pretty big Chicago Blackhawks fans. There is a player on the Blackhawks with the name Patrick Sharp.
Story:
For Christmas I got a bunch of Blackhawk themed shirts ranging from t-shirts to long sleeved t-shirts that look like actual jerseys themselves. I got a decent amount of them from my girlfriend's family, so my family didn't see them right away as I opened them at their house. When I got home, I was very excited show them to my family.
So when I grab the long sleeved t-shirt jersey to show to my mom and she says, "Wow that is Sharp!".
I respond back with a grin on my face with a quick "No, there isn't a name on the back of it at all."
It clicked after a few seconds, but I got a groan and a "You knew what I meant..."
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