It’s my slide hustle.
I was like, “Well, damn.”
It was my honeydew list.
https://preview.redd.it/ujv35rwei5m61.png?width=715&format=png&auto=webp&s=7a7478572fc765d48ca4306bc44262caf8027e8b
Oui, a visit to the Eyeful Tower is always recommended when vacationing in France.
Damn
They should know violins is never the answer..
He was arrested for ear poll-lute-tion.
I now understand why she said it’s the best product on the market.
She said try the non-friction section.
The bartender says, “Hey! Aren’t you the rope that I just threw out?”
The rope replied, “No. I’m a frayed knot.”
Its natural beauty was unpresidented
It’ll now just be called the T.
Squidward
Funnely enough
I'm still working on it
she said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.
I had to climb out of the sunroof.
But today she’s only getting a small C-section
Edit: it’s actually true. Today at 10am here in Sweden it’s happening 🙂
Their names were In and Out. They lived in a hollow tree stump with their mother. Sometimes they liked to play inside, and sometimes outside.
One day, In was outside, and Out was inside. Mamma skunk asked Out to go find his brother. So Out went out, to bring In in. A short while later they both came inside. Mamma asked Out how he managed to find his brother so fast.
He smiled and said: "Instinct"
Womb raiders
I'm quite the music history buff- always have been. My first inkling as a college student was to explore turning this into a career. So I found a music museum, wrote an impassioned essay, and somehow landed the 12-week internship.
When I got there, I met the curator, a woman named Rhonda. Like me, she had grown up enjoying music and always wanting to know more. Thanks to grants and donors' generosity, she had helped continue the museum's legacy of showcasing what might otherwise be lost to history.
The tradition of the museum had always been to let the interns work in the orchestral wing. My assignment in particular was the string section.
Now I didn't know a whole lot about the string family, but I saw some really fine specimens and decided we could perhaps tell a broader story about the progression of the instruments. And so I began studying.
After about a week of studying, I went to Rhonda and asked if we could do something different here. She was very receptive to the idea and introduced me to her assistant, Dr. Will. His PhD was in history, natch, but he still relished having everyone call him Doctor. It was funny.
Dr. Will helped me learn so much about how the family of instruments developed over time, their overall cultural footprint, etc.
Did you know a fiddle and a violin are the same thing? Did you know the viola family dates back to the 16th C.? Vivaldi wrote 25 cello concertos!
I dazzled visitors with tales of the Stradivarius, Amati and Guarneri families. I noted the increase in neck length over time. I reassured them that despite the name catgut, no cat intestines were used in the creation of these instruments—but it sure might be sheep or goat.
Sadly, 12 weeks goes by quickly when you're having fun, and I got enthusiastic letters of recommendation from Rhonda and Dr. Will, and I do miss them. Hello, you two.
I figured I could waltz (sorry) right in to more museum jobs later, but boy, was I mistaken.
I kept interviewing for the job, but after about the 10th cold shoulder, I had to find out what I was doing wrong. I had done such a good job, after all, right??????
So I fucking called the museum
got the guy who interviewed me on the line—and he wasn't thrilled to even talk to me. But I asked him, sir, why didn't I even get a call back? Weren't my qualifications good?
He said, yes, BUT.......
"...we simply can't hire someone who has exhibited a history of violins."
It was a pans labyrinth.
A rebel without a clause
He was a little drunk.
Slim to Nun?
(Incidentally this is a true story and I got yelled at)
It was finally the long-awaited end of police violins.
Employee: “The gardening section, sir.”
Me;
He keeled the other fellow just like that!
I was like well damn.
I was like well damn.
I was like well damm
I was like well damn.
Well dam..
I had to climb out of the sunroof.
I said, "Well, dam..."
