Hitman 3 Puns

The hitman asked: 'what do you want me to do after the job is done?' The mafia boss replied: 'I want you to go bury tree bodies.'

Her: "Why are you reading junk mail?"

Me: "It's not, they have real news in here too."

Her: "No they don't...."

Me: "They sure do. I was just reading about a hitman who killed 3 people. He must not have liked them much, because he did it for only $1."

Her: "Nuh-uh, you're totally lying!"

Me: "Nope, looks like the hitman was named was Arty. He choked them to death apparently. "

Her: "Let me see..."

So I showed her the section I was reading:

ARTICHOKES 3 FOR $1

As a Hitman....

I got bored at work this morning and thought of this one.

So there was this hitman named Arti, renown for his very affordable prices. One day, he gets 3 contracts. He follows them around, keeping track of their daily habits, and finds that each of them go to the the grocery store after work at the same time.

Planning to get all 3 at once, he makes him move and like always, was extremely successful.

The next day, the headlines read, "Arti Chokes 3 for a dollar at Safeway"

A hitman dog walks up to a cat. The dog says to the cat. Meows your time.

...Will Sasso's character got killed by a hitman.

I turned to her and said, "He just got assassonated."